- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
My family has 5 weddings coming up next year and I have 3 weddings of friends in addition to this. I was asked to be a bridesmaid in 3 weddings, but because I’m getting married I declined all but one, my sister’s wedding. My sister and I are both bridesmaids in each other’s weddings and discussed bridesmaid budget with each other. We agreed that the total cost of attire would be under $200 including shoes and dress. Hair, make-up, jewelry would be up to us (the bridesmaids). My sister demanded that I stay under the $200 becuase she just didn’t have it in her budget to spend a penny over $200. With this is mind, I picked a $150 dress (after tax) for my girls to wear, and told them to buy a pair of black shoes if they didn’t already have a pair they liked. My sister is wearing a pair of shoes she already owns, so I was happy I was able to keep under budget for her. However, she picked out a dress that was $190 after tax, then decided she wanted us to buy a $50 brooch to wear on the side of the dresses, so she already went over by $40. Okay, not really a big deal, but seeing as I still needed shoes, I wasn’t wanting to spend too much more. At the time she’d mentioned us wearing black shoes, and luckily I already had a pair that would work, so I didn’t mind too much spending the extra money on the brooch.
Then, I get a call from her telling me that she’s changed her plans a little, and wants me to buy this $60 pair of dyeable shoes and pay to have it dyed to match her wedding colors ($20). I tried to point out that it is $80 for a pair of shoes, and that I would never wear the color of her wedding again. She then said that I could always pay to have it dyed to black. I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. $100 for ultimately another pair of black shoes I don’t need? I explained to her that we were already over the $200 budget we’d both agreed to stick to, and she said she didn’t see why I was complaining, FI and I make a lot of money so I can afford to spend the extra $140. Yes, FI makes a decent amount of money and I make okay money (I’m a teacher, so its not like I get paid a ton though), but what bothers me is that she is knowingly going over the budget we decided on when I worked hard to keep in it, especially after she was so addiment about keeping to it on my part.
So we hang up, coming to no conclusion other than her stating that I must buy these shoes, it is non-negotiable. 2 hours later I get a mass text from her to the entire bridal party, linking us to the jewelry she wants us to buy. Another $60 for the bracelet and earrings (included was a note attached to me saying that this jewelry would work perfectly for my dress so I could totally double up and save money – it is not what I want to wear. I just want a necklace and some studs). Now we are $200 over the original budget so I call her up and explain that I cannot buy the jewelry she wants, and we’d already agreed that jewelry was not going to be manditory. She got upset and said that I was fighting her on every detail and if I didn’t want to buy the shoes and jewelry like all the other bridesmaids agreed to I could just drop out of the wedding and save myself the extra money and if I wasn’t prepared to spend money to be a bridesmaid she didn’t see why I ever even agreed. Well, I’ve already spent $240 on the dress and brooch, so if I were to drop out I’d be out the money (I will never wear this dress again, ever…) and not to mention it would just create a lot of bad blood and ruin some happy times.
Ultimately, I’ll just suck it up and buy the shoes and the jewelry (I’m already budgeting $60 to get my hair done for the wedding, since I am absolutely helpless with my hair – but that is a me call, and extra that I already planned on spending) and keep her happy. It just is upsetting that she’s adding all these extra expenses after she demanded that I don’t go a penny over the budget. I know I’m complaining, but I just needed to vent to someone. If I’m going to spend this extra $200, I just needed to get the complaining done so I don’t have any bottled up resentment. Honestly, FI and I can easily afford the extra $200 and not blow our budget, but it really isn’t the MONEY I’m upset about, it is the fact that we agreed to a certain number, and I kept to that number and she didn’t.
Thanks for letting me vent.