The cost of Buck and Does for the wedding party

posted 2 years ago in Money
  • poll: Do the wedding party get reimbursed for their contribution to a buck and doe?
    Yes, they get reimbursed and the net proceeds are donated to the couple. : (12 votes)
    63 %
    No, they pay out of pocket for whatever it costs to run the event : (7 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    5016 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Swizzle:  I’m confused. I thought stag and doe was the bachelor/bachelorette party? What are you getting money from to reimburse everyone?

    Post # 4
    Member
    1441 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Fundraiser party?  What part of America does this happen in?  I’ve never heard of it.

    Post # 5
    Member
    216 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Swizzle: I think it is dependant on the bride and groom. I am planning to reimburse wedding party for things like hall rental, DJ, any alcohol that is bought before but I am also hoping each person donates a prize for the night (~30-50$). I am not sure the etiquette or what not on this but that is my plan for now. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2704 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Swizzle:  When we had our stag and doe every one was reimbursed for their costs and the rest was given to us. The only portions that were not reimbursed was if the bridal party decided to donate a gift for the raffle. Everything else (liquor, license, hall, music, food and so on) was paid back to everyone who put in money for it.

    I’ve never heard of anyone having to pay a couple hundred for a stag and doe party and not getting it back, I would have problems with this.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1441 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

     

    winterwoodlandbride15:  I’ve lived in New England, DC, and California and I’ve somehow never heard of it, so I guess they aren’t that prevalent and/or somehow all of my friends were out of the loop.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2018 posts
    Buzzing bee

    winterwoodlandbride15:  Sorry, these fundraisers are beyond “not the done thing” in every part of the USA I have lived in, which is most of it minus parts of the west coast.  From what I can tell on this board, these events seem to be most common in certain parts of Canada.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2704 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    HannahGrace:  True, that wasn’t fair of me… it does depend on the area. I’m in Ontario, Canada and it’s common here. I’ve heard of it all over the states too though… so I guess just not on your areas?

    Post # 11
    Member
    5016 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Swizzle:  I’ve never heard of this. What country are you in?

    I would assume it would be polite to reimburse them the costs of the party and keep the rest.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3360 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I have also never heard of this (living in or having family all over the midwest, east coast, parts of the south, pacific northwest…).  How extensive are the costs for the wedding party? I would think if they were out a lot of their own money, at least partially reimbursing them would be good – if it was something like everyone kicked in $20, maybe not so much.  But again, I’ve never heard of this, so I don’t really know “what’s done.”

    Post # 14
    Member
    2704 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    MarriedToMyWork:  Makes sense, I’m in Canada and I haven’t met anyone who didn’t know what it was before. I know there’s lots of areas that don’t have them around here (mainly in the bigger cities), but I thought people knew what it was. My bad

    Post # 15
    Member
    287 posts
    Helper bee

    Canadian here. I’ve only been a bridesmaid for one and all I contributed was a gift for the raffle, so I wasn’t reimbursed for that.

    I can’t really imagine how the bridal party would be putting down money for any of it upfront? If the bride and groom are planning on paying for the hall, booze, DJ themselves then why are they asking anyone else to pay for it in advance? For my cousin, some of the bridal party helped deliver the beer and set up the hall but nobody put down any deposits other than the couple themselves.

    I think if you are being asked to contribute hundreds of dollars up front, you shouldn’t expect to see any of it back.

     

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