Post # 1
Dealing with a couple from hell here – what do you think I should do?
So by law I’m married but we haven’t had the full wedding dinner/reception part with extended family and friends. Those that attended the actual marriage were parents and brothers/sisters – so a private ceremony. The reception is planned for next year.
However, Hubby’s best friend is getting married in two months time, and all along they’ve sent us “save the dates” addressed to the both of us. Hubby is the best man, and I was wondering why we hadn’t received an invite yet. So I asked. Turns out, they have sent out the invites, but the invitation is clearly addressed to Hubby only and the RSVP clearly states only his name and says specifically “no SO’s”. We asked around, and it seems this is only exclusive to me. Everyone else who are friends with them, are not married nor engaged by have an invitation addressed to them and their SO’s name, and it’s not like I’ve not met this couple – I know them both enough to share hotel rooms etc.
When we brought this up with them, they admitted that the best friend’s FI doesn’t like me purely because she had hoped that Hubby would end up with her sister, the best friend also agreeing this and that in fact they both don’t like me because of this. They also said that they are disappointed in Hubby for being with me and sticking by me in this situation. Based on this revelation, Hubby has since declined to be the best man and declined the invite (well – not replied, but just went straight into the trash), and this couple are in shock and angry because they had already ordered his suit etcetc. I feel a bit targetted and punished for something I didn’t set out to do or even do anything wrong.
Anyway, as we are planning our reception now, I was contemplating inviting them both (not that I want to – but because I know Hubby would like his best friend there) to the dance afterwards. But turns out that the venue doesn’t work like that, guests are from beginning to end. I am paying for most of this wedding, and to be brutally honest, I don’t want to be paying for these two who clearly hate me when I could rather be inviting two more of my friends. Hubby wants to invite them, I don’t. What should I do?
Post # 3
What a situation. Why does your hubby still want to invite them after all that? Good luck
Post # 4
i wouldn’t want to invite them either. how could your DH want to invite them after they clearly stated they didn’t like you and wouldn’t invite you to their wedding.
i’m so glad to hear the your DH declined their invitation.
Post # 5
@amicelli13: I wouldn’t invite them. Why spend money on a couple who don’t respect you or your marriage?
Post # 6
Don’t invite them. This happened to me at a family member’s wedding once. They didn’t like SO, but they concealed it by saying married couples only. We had been living together for a few years at that point. I went, and everyone there who was unmarried had their SO with them. I have never been able to let go of that one.
Post # 7
@amicelli13: Easy. Don’t invite them. The friendship is over anyway, move on and put it behind you. You’ve done nothing wrong and have nothing to feel bad about; the friendship ending is their responsibility due to their terrible behavior towards you.
Post # 8
Glad to hear your DH turned down the invite and being the best man! I would absolutely not invite them.
Post # 9
I agree that you shouldn’t invite them. It sounds like you would be asking for trouble by having them around the reception. And honestly if I were the couple from hell and I received an invite to your wedding after the situation with your DH dropping out, I would probably decline it anyway.
Post # 10
Yea… sucks that it’s his “best friend” but it seems like that friendship is over. Personally, I wouldnn’t invite them after how they treated you. I’m glad FI is on your side.
Post # 11
I wouldn’t invite them. Why would you want to make yourself feel uncomfortable with these people around on your special night?
Also, their reasoning for not liking you is the most immature and stupid thing I have ever heard. What was their grand plan for their wedding, to get your hubby and her sister to hang out? I imagine she is probably the MOH…I would cut these people out of my life.
Tell your DH that you understand this guy is his friend, but a real friend would just be happy that your DH is happy with you.
Or, you can always only invite the guy, and not the girl…give them a taste of their own medicine. LOL
Post # 12
I would under no circumstances invite them to your wedding. It sounds like they would just cause more drama!
Post # 13
If that couple is as petty and socially inept as they sound, I think one of two things will happen if you do invite them:
1) They will refuse the invite. They would probably justify it by saying it was rude of your DH to pull out of the wedding party, not go to their wedding, you didn’t buy them a wedding present but that’s all you want from them now, etc. But they’re not going to your wedding. Problem solved. Or
2) They go to your reception. If they were so rude as to actually exclude you exclusively and then justify it in a truly Miss-Bingley-from-Pride-and-Prejudice fashion, then I think it’s safe to assume that their bad behavior would be just as glaringly hurtful at your reception. They will go and tell everyone who will listen for five seconds that they had really hoped that your DH would be with her sister instead (and probably list all the reasons why they think she’s better). You might have been the better people by inviting them, but they could potentially cause a lot of drama and hurt at a party meant to celebrate your love.
Those are my two cents. I would talk to your DH about that. He might just miss the friendship-that-was, not what is, and is therefore trying to extend an olive branch. I would present those two possible scenarios to him, and see if he thinks it’s worth going through that if you guys invite them.
But if he insists on inviting them, you need to consider it. You may be paying for most of it, but it’s his reception too. Refusing to come to an agreement on this issue can only make the situation worse. I hope this all works out for you, good luck!
Post # 14
I would talk to him and tell him that you understand that he’s friends with them but they don’t like you. It’s fine if he wants to spend time with them but your wedding should be filled with people who support your marriage and care about you both. I would also inform him that you want nothing to do with them if thay are willing to act so immature. If he decides to hang out with them you don’t want him to keep it a secret from you but you will not be joining.
Sometimes it’s hard for us as humans to see the horrible in our loved ones. In time he might slowly come to your side on this issue. I’m not saying things will deffinately change because some people just don’t give up on others no matter what.
Post # 15
What a bitch. Jealousy is a curse. I wouldn’t even talk to them let alone invite them.
Post # 16
@amicelli13: It would be ruder to invite them to the after-dinner part of your reception than to exclude them completely. Save yourself a headache by leaving them off the list altogether.