Post # 1
I was working out in the living room when my cell phone rings. I glance at the name and it’s DH’s brother’s fiance, so my Future Sister-In-Law. I ignore it and figure I will call her back in few minutes. Well then she calls again. Then there’s a knock at the door. I open it up sweaty and nasty and it’s DH’s Stepmom and Future Sister-In-Law.
DH’s Stepmom says, “Hi we’re here to clarify some things about Future Sister-In-Law and BIL’s relationship.” I can tell that Future Sister-In-Law is upset. Let me mention that a lot of DH’s family are Jehovah Witness’ and therefore have some very strict thoughts regarding dating and marriage. Here’s how the conversation goes:
DH’sSM: “Do you know if Future Sister-In-Law and BIL have spent the night together?”
Me: “Did you ask Future Sister-In-Law, as this sounds like her personal business?”
DH’sSM: “Well she denies it.”
Me” “Ok then I would believe what Future Sister-In-Law has to say”
DH’sSM: “You know I have an obligation to Jehovah to report this” (for those who don’t know you can get exiled from being a JW if you violate rules. basically someone can tell the head of the hall they belong to and they could be kicked out if the religion for this kind of stuff. Even dating is against the rules unless you have a chaperone.)
Me: “I have no obligation to Jehovah. I have an obligation to respect what Future Sister-In-Law says to be true.”
DH’sSM then looks at me like she is going to kill me. Then she turns to Future Sister-In-Law and carries on threatening her and all kinds of things. I was in such shock. I couldn’t even falthom that this was happening in my kitchen. Future Sister-In-Law is 26 years old. Where else in this world would this be anyone’s business. I see Future Sister-In-Law struggling to defend herself. It was awful. Finally I just figured I would lie.
Me: “FSIL and BIL are virgins. Is that what you needed to know?”
Me: “Yes. They are.”
She says thank you gives me a hug and walks out. Future Sister-In-Law looked like she had been beaten up when they leave. Could you imagine your Future Mother-In-Law going to your fiance’s brother’s wife house to ask her if you have had sex. This can’t really be my life.
REALLY?????? His entire family is insane!!!
Vent done. Thank you. (I just realize I use the bee like a diary lol)
Post # 3
Good Lord! I can’t imagine Jesus would ever want anyone to have to go through that type of interrogation! And you are such a nice person for saving her.
Post # 4
WOW is all i have to say!!!!!.. I don’t know why but I can’t stop laughing at the thought of my husbands mother coming to my house and doing that to my sil… poor girl!!!!!!.. big hugs to her.. and you for having to deal with that
Post # 5
@Sage Marie: I texted Darling Husband right after and his initial reaction was to laugh as well. Then he apologized and then he laughed some more.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)
OMG, that sounds crazy! And I can’t believe you got dragged into the middle of that mess!
Post # 7
Well, when they go into that religion they have clearly very strict rules and expectations for behavior. They are passionate about there faith and in this issue its not about privacy. If they need chaperones then this is not a surprise in regards to reaction to a question of purity.
I think coming to you house is certainly overkill and uncalled for. I’m assuming she is in a panicked state and just going to people she can trust!
So sorry this happened to you! thats pretty crazy!
Post # 8
Ohhh how difficult… no one knows what happens when they’re alone, the only people she can ask are the couple themselves. And really if it’s such a concern she should go to her SON, not parade his fiance around to all their family trying to make her feel like a slut. I can’t believe she went to you about that, that’s insane!! I mean really, how would you know?
Post # 9
Um wow. Thats one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard. MYOB LADY!!!
Post # 10
@Eva Peron: Agreed. DH’sSM kept referencing her name being dragged through mud. That was one of my main issues. If you’re worried about Jehovah seeing their behaivor that’s one thing. If you’re worried about how people will view you for it, it becomes less about religion in my mind and more about the judgement of others.
Well I’m glad everyone else sees this as crazy. Sometimes they make me wonder if I am the crazy one.
Post # 11
Oh wow. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. Jehovahs are just nuts. My friend got banned from their church for dating her future husband–they don’t just throw you out. None of her family was allowed to see her or speak to her on penalty of being exiled themselves. Her dad broke the rules for her a couple times when her mom was dying and let her sneak in the back of the house to see her. I can’t even imagine what that would be like; it totally wrecked my friend. I’m so sorry your in such a spot, it’s a really tough place to be, and it sounds like DH’s mom is hardcore.
Post # 12
Wow and how did you deal with this MIL?
If this were to happen to me and my Fiance would allow this to happen like this guy, It’s be a total deal breaker. No way would I deal with this woman for the rest of my life!
Post # 14
Um wow. Any Jehovah’s witness I’ve met has been crazy, so I get it. I don’t understand why anyone would live a life like that.
Hell, if I were your Future Sister-In-Law, I would have told my mom every sordid detail, just to make her run and tell and not have to see those crazy people again
Post # 15
Oh, that poor girl! I love your reply to SM though!
Post # 16
@MrsSl82be: uuummm,wow. That statement is a little harsh and judgemental.