Post # 1
Ugh, I swear I cannot win with my fiance’s family.
I just found out that they are upset we are leaving for our honeymoon “so early after the wedding instead of spending more time with the family.”
FYI – we are leaving on a Sunday night after a Friday wedding. It is a 4 day event wedding, so it will be family allll week long. We are also doing a post wedding lunch and then hanging out with them sunday morning. Who wants to spend more family time after they are just married??? WTF? I just want to be alone with my new husband!
Then I also just found out, his mom is upset because her friend (which we were forced to invite. My fiance hasn’t met this person probably in about 15 years) didn’t get a plus one. Therefore, she is refusing to go. This woman is not married or in a serious relationship, so it’s not like it was faux pas. Ugh. 🙁
I know they mean really well most of the time. He’s just the baby boy and we live far away, but I just feel like no matter what I do, it falls short.
His sister’s invitation arrived 4 days late for some reason (was sent all the invites out at the same time so it must have gotten lost in the mail). She accused us of not inviting his sister. Why would that be the first thought? Not “oh, maybe it got lost in the mail, i’ll give it a few days.”
Sorry for my mini vent sesh. Just had to get it out there.
Share any crazy in-law stories you are dealing with at the moment!
Post # 3
@HappinessIsInDaisies: Ugh, that sounds like my parents! My In-Laws were pretty sweet even though my DH was somewhat of a momma’s boy. We had a “veto” rule. No guests allowed that neither of us don’t know. My mom was upset for a while about not being able to invite her friends, but we wanted something small. My mom is SO over it by now, and she did eventually understand. Hopefully your MIL gets it! She probably is sad that your FI will be married and off and leaving forever! My mom wanted to keep some of the wedding gifts at her house so there would be a reason for me to visit (as if we weren’t going to!!!). They are just overly sentimental. 🙂 Now my mom says not to come over, she’s busy 😉
Post # 4
Lol my sister in law did something similar. She was already pissed about the dress, but then she starts in about the invitations and how she is so unimportant to us because she NEVER got one. We were like, “Umm, we haven’t even sent them out yet.”
MIL was also very clingy after the wedding and wanted us to stay longer when all we wanted to do was do home.
Post # 5
Oh my gosh this sounds just like my MIL!!
We didn’t invite some of her friends (5 to be exact) with plus ones because they weren’t in a relationship. She called us and started yelling about how she was going to have to call and apologize and that we were sooooo rude and we should call and apologize too. DH confirmed again that they weren’t in a relationship and explained we didn’t invite any plus ones for people not in a relationship (except for two that were traveling). She threw a fit and said “well I guess that means her BF can’t come then either. I’m going to be at your wedding all alone.” DH sighed and explained the rule about relationships again.
Then, two days later she called and told us a couple people hadn’t received their invites yet and said something to her about it. She accused us of not inviting everyone on her guest list. We explained that since all these guests lived farther away there was a good chance they just hasn’t received it yet but we did mail them all the same day.
So pretty much the same things you had happen to you. I have so many more stories about the craziness from MIL leading up to the wedding.
Post # 6
My FFIL has brain damage that didn’t do his personality any favors. The entire family basically lives as his hostages to his rages. It really makes me ocassionally doubt if I really want to join the family :(.
Post # 7
@HappinessIsInDaisies: OH YES. You are not alone! My FMIL has had some crazy moments as well! (I wrote a post in which I vented about this in greater detail, lol)
She makes things super awkward for everyone because when we decided not to invite certain distant relatives that FI has never met, she called the relatives to ask if they thought it would be respectful for us to invite them, then blew up at me for not sending them invitations because they wanted to come to our bridal shower/wedding. What’s funny is that 5 of them wanted invites to our bridal shower and they ended up being the ONLY guests who didn’t come. Throughout all of this, FMIL has changed their addresses several times on us (because when someone moved 10 years ago and you never heard about it, that tells me FMIL doesn’t even know these people).
FMIL has caused me a few headaches & sob-sessions throughout the wedding planning process, but I know it’s because she adores my FI and she feels ‘no one will ever be good enough for him’. At one point, I wanted to call her and tell her that she is welcome to marry her son because if I’m not good enough for him (FI and I have a great 7-year relationship with no drama), then he’s never going to find anyone that will live up to her standards. Fortunately, FMIL FINALLY came around and made amends with me (Unfortunately, it was because FI had a near-death experience). While I’m relieved things are better between FMIL and I, it’s sad that our FMILs can’t treat us with kindness and respect!
Post # 8
In terms of inviting people, I don’t think anything beats my sister’s in-laws. They invited friends they bumped into at the supermarket! They didn’t even know their address, hadn’t thought to invite them at all, but just saw them in the supermarket a few weeks before the wedding and invited them, then asked my parents for invitations to give them.
My FMIL is determined to have us pick a venue that is nowhere near where we live. She’s just going to have to deal with it.
Post # 9
@megz06: My MIL was pretty clingy too. We were at the church taking pictures after the ceremony and were talking about what a big step it is- and she said to me and my husband “It’s never too late…”, implying (I guess) that we didn’t have to stay married. We were shocked!
Post # 10
Just Sunday DH and I were in Southern CA visiting. We just got married about 6 weeks ago.
DH was inside his parent’s house talking to his brothers. MIL, FIL, and I were out front their house and went across the street to see IL’s neighbor. The neighbor sees me and automatically tells me what a beautiful bride I was. MIL responds with “It’s amazing what makeup can do! Hahaha….just kidding.” I rubbed it off, whatever…horrible joke.
DH comes outside a few minutes later and the neighbor then tells DH the same thing about how beautiful I looked. MIL says the same comment about what makeup can do AGAIN!!!
Kill me now. Seriously.
Post # 11
@megz06: HA that happened to me but it was a trouble making cousin whom I would care less if I ever saw in life again….. she gave my mom a sob story about not being invited to my wedding….and my mom told me…..I was like ahhh mom?? I dont even have invitations yet?? wtf are you talking about WERE 5 MONTHS OUT??? (at the time)
talk about fishing for an invite. My mother did end up guilting me into inviting her, and I told my mother she better be helping guard the card box because little miss thing WILL try to steal it!
Post # 12
FILs requested we invite some extended family members because “there’s a 1% chance they will come.” ummm no. I’m not doing courtesy invites, because what if they DO come?! FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. If they want more people, they can pay if they say yes (although we haven’t discussed that part yet).
Still in the crazy in-laws vein, but not about guest lists…FI and I are currently dealing with the sucky aftermath of FMIL’s lovely email lecturing us on the importance of including our siblings in the wedding party. FI has brothers and I have sisters. I have no idea why she gives a rat’s ass whether or not I include my sisters! Also, the wedding is 20 months away and she thinks this is an “urgent” issue that needs to be addressed immediately. ugh.
Post # 13
My MIL just visited and stayed with us for 5 days. Yes, 5 WHOLE DAYS!!!! I should win a medal =)
While my MIL is a lovely person, she can also be VERY picky about certain things. My DH and I thought it would be nice to take her to a really nice restaurant one night for dinner. We spent a long time picking out a restaurant that we believed she would enjoy. It was her favorite type of food (Italian) and it had great ratings. I had eaten there for lunch one day and loved the food. When we got to the restaurant, all she could do was complain. First, she was upset when we got to the restaurant early and they did not seat us right away (although they had us seated by our reservation time). Then they did not have a particular brand of wine that she wanted. She finally chose a wine and hated it. The salad had “too much dressing” and her chicken was “way too dry.” She kept saying how dissapointed she was the entire night. Grrrr… It was all I could do to hold my toungue. Especially since DH and I were paying and all she could do was complain.
BTW, DH and I loved the food and atmosphere and thought the restaurant was great. Our food was some of the best I’ve eaten in my current city.
Whew. At least I survived this visit!
Post # 14
@FreckledFox: I know it is definitely just a sentimental thing. My FI’s family don’t know how to express emotions, so it comes out in strange ways. lol. However, with the wedding only a month away I don’t think she is going to change or get over all these things either! *shrugs* What can you do. 😛
@MrsBeck: Ugh – that does sound really similar! Is it that hard for parents to understand we might not want their friends who we probably have never met or barely know, PLUS their random plus ones. Haha, i’m sure you have many more crazy stories, i know i do – this was just the flavour of the hour.
@megz06: why would that ever be their first thought!? I just don’t get it. Especially if the relationship is fine with that person. Like we were just talking to his sister about wedding stuff, so why wouldnt we invite her??
@HaumeasHeart: I’m sorry to hear that. 🙁 That sounds difficult.
@Dareebs: Yikes, that sounds like quite the rocky road. I’m glad she has made ammends with you. But that is how i feel too – my fiance and I have an amazing relationship – I don’t know why as parents they arent elated that their son is finally happy and in a good place and we are adding to their family rather than seeing it as “i am taking him away.” My family looks at him like an addition so I wish his parents saw me that way. His siblings are really nice to me, its really just his mom that thinks i am stealing away the precious baby boy.
@TGold: wow….haha…a supermarket
@Pearberry: Holy shit – she said that on your wedding day!
@nixietink: Yikes…there are no words for that… seriously? How would she think that is an appropriate thing to say?? ugh
@pineapplez17: Haha, his mom said the same thing about the friend who didn’t get the plus one. Which is why i thought it was even funnier that she is upset shes not coming now cuz we didnt give her a plus one. She guaranteed us she wouldn’t come in the first place.
@gingerspice: OMG that sounds exactly like mine in-laws too! You do deserve a medal!!! Haha, we had his 2 parents stay with us for a week during his college graduation. Small 2 bed apartment with one bathroom and his dad complained about every restaurant as well! I had never been so exhausted by the time they left. We both should get medals lol!
Post # 15
@HappinessIsInDaisies: I completely agree! If your FMIL truly loves her son, she will want him to get married and start his own family! Unless unconditional love is encouraging your son to remain single and live in your basement for the rest of your life… but that sounds pretty miserable to me 😉
Post # 16
@Pearberry: Not okay!!!! In my opinion, anyone who mentions divorce while you are planning a wedding/on your actual wedding day needs to be (gently) slapped. My FMIL mentioned in an email how this is only our first wedding, so it doesn’t have to be perfect, followed by far too many ‘hahahahaha’s.