Post # 1
As I leave to join my mother at a local store to see if I should register there, I decided to make a list of things I would want to register for the wedding and a another column for shower registry. Upon looking at my notes on each event (both wedding and shower) I start to thing: where is my stopping point?
We won’t be living on our own for at least the first year of our marriage, so to register for items like table cloths and napkins with accompanying napkin rings feels a little bit daunting and crowded. I am registering for fine china, crystal and other items like that so it will already be enough to store those items. But my main issue really isn’t the storage of these items while we wait on housing. It is the minutia of the registry that I don’t want to get caught up in….which could easliy happen because of the type person I am. So where is a good place to stop? I am thinking no linens and no decor items. But where do chargers fit in, lol? If I get china, why wouldn’t I register for chargers? Where can I draw the line (please give exampes)? Do you see my slight dilemma here?
Post # 2
It is my personal opinion that the typical wedding registry is extremely tacky. I’m 30+ and so are my friends. Anyone in my circle should be able to get their own sheets, towels, and kitchen crap without having to ask their closest friends and family to buy it for them…that’s just my opinion, however unpopular.
I do think fine china is a good item to register for – I’m not buying you plates (which you can buy for yourself), but rather I’m symbolically contributing to the start of your marriage in your new martial home. I would keep the china, add charger plates, add nice flatware, add nice glassware – they’re all celebratory items vs. day to day stuff that an adult person should be able to buy for herself.
Do register for your photo frames and your wedding essentials, these are related to the event at hand. However, I would skip the day to day stuff.
Just one person’s opinion and one person’s rant.
Post # 3
Is the place you are registering a store that also has an online version of the registry? If so, register for things that you really love and catch you eye and know you can delete it and play around with it on the website once you get home.
Chances are this is the only time (unless you buy it yourself) that you might get really good linens and china and good knives and pots and pans, etc. Even if you won’t be living on your own for the first year of marriage, it’s nice to have a hope chest full of the things that will help you on the way to setting up your first home together. Decor items you will buy along the way, so it might be good to stop at that. Unless you see something you absolutely are in love with in the store.
Post # 4
you don’t have to register for china. and you don’t need charger plates if you don’t want them.
i had a mishmash or everyday plates from my mom and grandmother so i registered for a set of everyday plates. i also didn’t have a full set of silverware so i registered for that.
i didn’t register for any china, my mom had a set from her wedding that i will eventually get but who really uses china anymore.
so bottom line, don’t register just because or you think it is tradition. register for stuff that you will actually use.
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
I think you need to write down a list of things you and your FI want and have room to store now, and just stick to that. Maybe you should register online, that way you aren’t tempted to use the scanner to scan everything in sight. Keep in mind that if you have a small registry, most people will probably give you gift cards or cash, which will be helpful when you have your own place in a year 🙂
Post # 6
jamb: Thank God you’re not coming to my wedding!
Post # 7
MrsHistory-Bee: I am in a similar situation. FI and I are renting right now and are not looking to furnish and decorate the shit hole we live in. The house will probably come sometime in late 2015, so as far as anything decorative, even so much as sheets and shower curtains, we simply don’t know what we want since we don’t know where we’re going to live.
We registered for things we could us RIGHT NOW, and will use gift cards for things to furnish our own home when the time comes. Here are some of the things we registered for:
Kitchen items: new coffee pot, a deep fryer (b/c it was affordable and awesome), pots and pans, a tea pot I adored, new cooking utensils, accoutrements, etc. Cleaning supplies are a good one. You’ll need a garbage can and vacuum regardless of where you live. Basically, we registered for anything that didn’t need to match a room color or theme.
My shower invite will (apparently) read that I’m registered at BB&Beyond, and gift cards to Home Goods are encouraged. FI and I love stuff in there, but you can’t register.
Registry overall is just an “idea” I think for guests. I know personally when I see stuff on a registry, I’ll go on Amazon and other stores to price compare. It’s like, “OK I know she wants this, but it’s $10 less on Amazon so I’ll get it there.” I think they’re guidelines more than anything.
Post # 8
As a couple in their 30’s who have lived alone for years in fully furnished houses, and then merged everything together last summer before getting engaged – we still found stuff to register for.
A majority of our items replaced something that was old (hello college drinking cups!), or replaced things that were either “his” or “hers” and now will be “ours”. As his Grandma said, “Everyone deserves new dishes!”. We also registered for items we may have always wanted but never bought.
We know that some of it may not get bought and that’s OK. As the PP said, it is definitely just a guideline. Heck, a cousin of my FMIL (and an uncle of mine) asked if we needed a stuff from places like Lowe’s, Home Depot, etc. and I said yes, as we do need to build a deck onto the house in the next year before selling – so that would be fine!
Post # 9
ajillity81: Oh im big on using my china! It is something that I really want. Im sure i’ll inherit somethings from my mom, but….that wont be for anytime soon!
Post # 10
jlc3: Really good point! I might end up doing this.
Post # 11
I say register for what you love! I am still in an apartment and will be storing whatever china, crystal, and new flatware we get. Probably even some of the kitchen things b/c our kitchen is tiny. I know it will be awesome to use all that new stuff once we have our forever home. Once you buy a house, it will be annoying to shell out cash for extras and thngs like napkins and chargers. I would get it now.
Post # 12
Just register online. We never stepped into a store. It was easy, we were able to compare products, read reviews, and it was extremely stress free. We registered at Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel for nice upgrades (new dish sets, mixer, pots and pans, etc). Both shower and registry gifts were evenly distributed between the two registries. We registered for about 35-40 items and had 42 guests. The Pottery Barn registry was completely bought up.