The day YOU become an in-law?!!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@eecuadrado:  HA. Well, seeing how my MIL is I know I will not be like that. I am actually making sure my own mom doesn’t become that crazy MIL type either. My brother has a girlfriend, and I am sort of training my mom on how to treat them as a couple–give them space, no pressuring, etc.

I vowed to my son already that I will NEVER treat his wife the way my MIL treats me. I am hoping I am an understandable, fun MIL like my mom. I know it is hard to not be a LITTLE overprotective of your son (or daughter), but it isn’t a fine line. I think there are ways of loving your son/daughter and being protective without being overbearing or obnoxious and allowing your child to have their own life. My mother lets me do this.

Post # 4
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

GREAT post topic, I hope to be just like my MIL – in the sense that she gives her DIL and son their space, privacy, genuine advice when needed, and a shut mouth when its not needed. I read an article once that said something along the lines that when you have a baby boy, you need to start mentally preparing yourself to graciously accept the day that you will no longer be THE woman in his life. I don’t even have children yet and that scared me!

Post # 7
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I can already tell I’m going to be a Monster-in-Law if I ever have a boy. Especially if he’s my last baby!

Post # 9
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

If I honestly didn’t like my S/DIL, I think I could be a pain to deal with. But that’s just because I’d have my child’s best interests at heart – the same way my mom is when she meets her kids’ SOs. At the same time, I’d let my feelings be known to my child so that if my input on their SO made any difference, they could decide on their own that it may not be the right person for them.

If I liked the SO, I would be 100% welcoming and would be happy to have a new member of the family.

Post # 11
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

@eecuadrado:  I’m very much like my mother, where if I dislike someone, there is a justified reason. My mom used to dislike my brother’s ex because she stole cash from my dad’s wallet. Another one of his exes point blank refused to speak to us because according to my brother, “she won’t talk to anyone who she feels is less intelligent than herself”. 

If my child were to bring home someone who rivaled either of those morons for their audacity or ignorance, then I would absolutely tell my child that I did not like their SO. I would explain why, and from there my child could make their decision. If they chose to remain with someone like that, then I would not be particularly nice to them in return for their disrespectful behaviour towards my family. I would never treat someone badly who did nothing to deserve it, and in the case of your MIL, that would never happen with me. If we just didn’t get along for no particular reason, then I would be polite and make conversation just like I do with anybody I meet with whom I don’t get along. No unjustified malicious behaviour from me!

Post # 12
1634 posts
Bumble bee

@eecuadrado:  I hope to be like my mom, who actaully took her MIL example from her past MIL (her ex-husbands mom)! She tries to love our spouses no matter what, and basically treats them like additional kids. She loves them, supports them and treats them just like her own kids, and its a wonderful place to be as her child, but also for my FH. he has someone who he can trust to be ‘parental’ but also respectful of our relationship. FH’s mom is actually quite awesome too, I’d be happy to be like either of them really.

Post # 15
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@eecuadrado:  I like to think I get along well with everyone and am very inclusive. Now, if they’re the opposite “leave me be and we’ll be good,” it may take some getting used to, but we could manage that. Now, if I have a legitimate reason to think they wouldn’t be a good partner for my kid, I have no issues discussing my concerns with my child. No accusing, no namecalling, just a calm, adult conversation.

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