Post # 1
While we aren’t quite TTC yet, were were talking about pregnancy and having a baby today.
I brought up that one thing that kind of freaks me out is the thought of giving birth. Then DH tells me he doesn’t even want to be in the delivery room. He was dead serious. I told him he has no choice in the matter, he doesn’t have to watch the baby come out, but he has to be there for support for me.
I thought this was kind of weird in his desire to just be in the waiting room. I did get him to agrea that he would be there.
So I’m wondering if anyone else’s DH thinks this way?
Post # 3
@Mrs.RDV: I’ve actually heard of a number of men who feel this way. Birth can seem really scary, and it’s something that is completely out of their control.
I think it’s understandable that some people (men OR women!) feel that way, although I also think they have an obligation to get over it and support their partner if that’s what she wants!
Post # 4
My FI has a serious problem with hospitals and blood–he’s soo squeamish and will feel faint if he sees a lot of blood or even hears too much talk about blood/injury/surgery. He wanted to be in the waiting room too, but I informed him that was not an option. We will roll up a cot next to me in case he has to lie down lol. I think once we’re TTC it’ll be easier and he’ll make his peace with it and simply the reality of it will make it easier to deal with
Post # 5
@Mrs.RDV: That would be my DH! He hasn’t out right refused, but he faints about talking medical type things ( which is ironic since his dad is a Doctor) and then seeing them are even worse. He fainted in college when a teacher mentioned the word ” brain”….lol im in for a ride! I know he will do all he can to support me, and Ill appreciate any gesture.
Post # 6
Well, no my husband was there with flair ready to videotape and hand out bubblegum cigars, I was actually the one who was like “I don’t want anyone in there!”
But as the day got closer I realized I couldn’t do it without him 🙂 Don’t worry! The idea is an abstract one for now, but pregnancy is 9 months of bonding, getting excited, shopping for baby stuff, reading books. He’ll want to be involved, he will, even if he’s a little nervous. And he can stay up by your head and coach, he doesn’t have to watch if he doesn’t want to.
Post # 7
@Mrs.RDV: That is a very normal reaction. Most men are really freaked out by the idea of child birth. As you get closer to actually having a baby or when you get pregnant your DH will more then likely change his tune.
My DH is the total opposite he is very ready to help me get this LO out lol. I’m also very open about the birthing process and plan to have DH, DD, MIL, and my sister in the delivery room. No shame here child birth is a very natural beautiful thing.
Post # 8
i think he will come to the idea, once you go through your pregancy and he has time for it to sink in, for now its not really “Real” to him but once your pregnant and are going through everything, i bet he will change his mind 🙂
@rkatyelle:haha your comment about your hubby having a video camera in there made me laugh…my husband talks about bringing a video camera into the labor room. HELL. NO.
Post # 9
I didn’t want DH seeing my hooha getting stretched out to the max like that – I kept him behind me at all times and he didn’t see it. Good thing because I had a crazy huge episiotomy. The doctor said “ooh here he is, and he has hair!” and grabbed the scissors and DH asked “are you giving him a haircut? ” in all seriousness, lol… He really didn’t see anything!!
Post # 10
I think if we have to experience it our DHs really should have endure watching to fully appreciate what we went through to bring their children into the world. Prob just the hormones talking but maybe not. My opinion aside, my DH knows he has to be there but will most likely stay up by my head and not watch. He doesn’t want to cut the cord either and I’m just not gonna force him. All I ask is that he holds and loves his daughter when she’s born 🙂
Post # 11
@rachiecakes: Lol at the haircut comment. I can totally see my DH saying something similar.
DH is really excited about it all, even though he hates the idea of me being in pain. He’s undecided about where he’ll stand…I’ve warned him how gross it’ll be down by my feet, but I’m leaving the final decision up to him.
Post # 12
My DH was the same way. He is a “fainter” and he sooo did not want to see all that. I told him if I have to push this baby out he had to be there. Honestly he said it was not that bad. He stayed up by my head the whole time and held my hand.
Post # 13
I think it’s pretty recently that men started going into the delivery room with their wives. Usually they waited in the waiting room, if they waited at the hospital at all.
That said, DH will be in there with me. Nobody else but hospital staff. I worry he might pass out (legitimately. he has a tendency toward fainting), but if he does, it’ll be supporting me. 🙂 And he’ll be by my head at all times. He is not to look at what’s going on down there.
Post # 14
Um, is it weird that I’M not sure if I want DH in the delivery room?
I mean, I probably will when I’m actually in the moment, but right now I’m kinda on the fence.
OP, I think it’s pretty normal for guys to be freaked out by the idea of birth. But I kind of have faith that similar to the way I feel, he’ll probably come around in the moment just because you need him 🙂
Post # 15
i always said if we had a baby i wouldnt make my husband be there for me – i know i might feel different if it happens but he seemed relieved when i told him
Post # 16
I don’t care if he thinks birth is scary – at least he isn’t the one actually giving birth, lol. If i’m going to the trouble of pushing a human being out of my body, he will by god be standing by my side as I do it.
Thankfully, my husband used to be a nurse, and he thinks gross medical stuff is actually “cool”. Phew!