Post # 1
i have a mixed bunch of FILs..
my FSIL has been married for two years and in that time my FH formed a good relationship with the husband… So when we got engaged, naturally invited him to be apart of the wedding party…he accepted.
Since about two weeks ago, they split up..
Our dilemma…. to have him still in the wedding party or say to him you cant, he is still keen to be in the wedding. Their split was apparently amicable.. but you can never predict the future, so in 8 months time.. they may hate each others guts and we will be a groomsmen short.
We want FSIL to enjoy the wedding and not want to hit one of the bridal party.
Post # 3
I think you should talk to FSIL and see how she feels. If they are friendly at this point, I don’t see the need to ask him to leave the wedding party unless she really really insists on it. If, down the road, they have a falling out, you can always ask him to leave then. I don’t think it’s a big deal to be “a groomsman short” – a lot of wedding parties have uneven numbers.
Post # 4
I guess we feel uncomfortable about the whole situation… like we feel as tho it would be weird to have him in the bridal party, we havent said anything to her about it because he has said he still wanted to be in it. its not like we have had a falling out but think its just odd because they will be divorced by the time the wedding and FSIL will quite often say she is okay with something but really she isnt..
I just cant read minds. I know the FH’s BIL will understand, its just us making the choice to avoid disaster down the track. Like back up.
If FH BIL wont be in the bridal party, my eldest brother will be the next groomsmen inline and they will be getting suits soon.
meh. Im sure it will all work out but im just thinking of all the possible scenarios to get the back up plan so were not both stressed!
Post # 5
I’d wait and see what happens with their relationship, but if they break up for good, I think it’d be really weird to have him there, for his ex-wife’s brother’s wedding.
Post # 6
I would leave it alone for a while and see what happens with their relationship. At the end of the day though, I think you have to take the sister’s side. If you get a sense she is truly uncomfortable with him also beeing in the wedding, I think you would need to ask him not to be. I think he would understand, as this is her family, not his anymore (if they split up).
Post # 7
I agree with prettyflowers. Wait a few months and see what happens with their relationship. Then, talk to the sister and see how she feels about it. What does your FH want to do?
Post # 8
FH doesnt quite know what to do.
FHBIL is a nice guy and they have a good friendship, but FH feels as tho its wierd to have an exhusband of his sister in the bridal party and he doesnt like awkward situations. Also he feels as tho he should be on his sisters side and by being on her side it would be benificial not to have him in the bridal party so his sister doesnt freak out…
its just wierd….. wierd situation to be in and confusing.
Thanks for voting guys!