- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
I guess we’ve just been lucky with 15 months of drama free wedding planning, I suppose I was naive to think nothing would happen, until 60 days out! Little background: I have very few, very close ladies in my life, the way I view a bridal party-it’s the people closest to you regardless of family. That being said, I chose two ladies to stand by me. FI has 4 gents (one being his brother).
We both aren’t particularly close with his family (except his twin). As in, see them twice a year at Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have little to no communication with his mother or sister with the exception of these two dates. We just don’t have that relationship of shopping, chatting, etc.
His sister (10 years younger) was very upset that she wasn’t asked to be in the bridal party (expressed about six months ago). FI understood my feelings and didn’t push it. This past weekend was my bachelorette party at a casino 2 hours away and a 21+ nightclub.
She is very upset that she wasn’t invited. In my defense, I thought she was 20 (and even FI had to think about it lastnight). But on top of that, she doesn’t drive a car (everyone drove themselves from different towns), doesn’t have a job, doesn’t drink or gamble, doesn’t like nightclubs, doesn’t leave the house unless it’s for school or her boyfriend’s house, and has severe anxiety and panic attacks in new surroundings. And, we aren’t close or friendly. It really never occurred to me to invite her. Now, she is made a snarky remark about buying a white dress to the wedding…real mature (I honestly don’t care if anyone wears white, but there was malice in her statement).
Maybe I just need to change my mentality now that families are melding but I find it frustrating at the same time, that I should be forced into feeling guilty for not inviting someone I’m not close to, to some of the most important events in my life, just because it will be family. My brother isn’t in the wedding and he could care less. I won’t be in his…big deal! Why would I force him being a groomsman when he and FI aren’t close?? I guess we just have different viewpoints.
As for involving her in the wedding, what can we do at this point? We asked her if she wanted to handle the receiving of guests at cocktail hour, and overseeing our thumbprint tree and she said no. She’s a wee bit old to be a flower girl, we aren’t handing out programs, and we arent’ having readings. What else can we offer her?
Aaah, feels good to vent-thanks bees!