(Closed) The dreaded B word…long and advice needed

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I recommend keeping some perspective here and realize that your friends are much much much more important than the shoes they wear in your wedding. Do whatever you need to do to not damage that relationship. Up to and including apologizing for criticizing the shoes they bought after you told them they could buy any shoes they want. In the grand scheme of things, the shoes just aren’t going to be important. 

Post # 4
Member
9629 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow, that’s a tough one.  They all like the shoes but you hate them?  You’re the bride, so they should respect your wishes and your taste.  Is there time to get news ones?  I don’t know your exact wedding date but there are only a couple and a half weeks left in August, not much time.

Yes, pay for them to be returned and help them find new ones that you like (you ALL like) is what I’d recommend.

Btw, I don’t think them paying $120 for their dresses is bad at all, especially since you’re paying for the other stuff.  That’s a reasonable price for a BM dress, very much so.

Here’s another tip:  Leave the emotions out of it – it can only get ugly.  Focus on the joy of YOUR wedding, not their crappy attitudes.  Don’t let them ruin this for you.

Post # 5
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You told them to buy any shoes and they bought shoes… You really cant complain because you don’t like the shoes. 
I do not think what they wear on their feet is a big enough issue to even deal with right now! 

Post # 6
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

How ugly could they be? Nobody is really doing to be paying attention to BM shoes. One of my BM wore silver flip-flops, and while I wasn’t crazy about them, I realized that they were comfortable for her and really don’t even notice them.

Post # 7
Member
970 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I want to commend you on being relaxed so far, but I do think you are worrying a little more than necessary here. Unless they are like, combat boots or sneakers, no one is going to notice or care, and I don’t really think most pictures even show feet.

Post # 9
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

From my perspective, they’re just shoes and you aren’t wearing them, so it’s not a big deal to me. No one will be paying attention to the BMs on your day.

Post # 10
Member
3241 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Are the BMs dresses long or short?

Because if you have long BMs dresses, their shoes aren’t going to be seen (or noticed) by most people.

It might be more of an issue with a short dress, but to be honest if the bride told me to pick out whatever shoes I wanted…..I’d be annoyed too if I was told my choice didn’t match what the bride wanted.

 

Post # 11
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well you did tell them ANYTHING. They found anything. They like the shoes and they are comfortable in them, and no one is going to be looking at their feet in the pictures. I think you’re a being a little over the top with this. If I were you I would tell them that those shoes aren’t exactly what you pictured, and are willing to help them find something else to wear, but that if you all can’t find something you’d rather them wear shoes they are comfortable in… then you won’t come across as a B.

Can we see a picture of these shoes? You might just be overreacting. And if they are acting ‘fake’ it is probably because they’re upset with you right now. Shoes are not worth fussing over to me.

Post # 12
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I realized with my own BMs that sometimes it is hard on both the bride AND the BMs to let them choose their own shoes/dress/whatever.  They don’t want to displease you, but they also don’t see YOUR VISION of your wedding day.  Sometimes they would rather you just made the decisions for them.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with you picking out shoes (reasonably priced) and asking the girls to buy them.  That’s what the bride did in a wedding I was in where we wore cocktail length dresses.  In other weddings we wore floor-length dresses and the bride just requested we wear a certain color.  That was better since everyone’s feet are shaped differently and thus we can’t all be comfortable in the same pair of inexpensive shoes.

Post # 13
Member
9629 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@SakuraBlossomBee:   Agreed.

OP – do you have pics?  Or even of something similar?  Maybe they’re not so bad and we can console you if you’re stuck with them, lol.

Post # 14
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah I need to see a picture of these.

Post # 16
Member
3001 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

What do the BM dresses look like? They aren’t that bad IMO but I can see how its a matter of taste.

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