Post # 1
Okay just a small rant type post? I’m not quite sure if its a rant exactly, just something that I’ve been thinking about.
So, my FI went to visit his parents last weekend, we live with my mom an hour away and we usually go to his parents house every weekend to check in and spend time with them. Anyway, I didn’t go with him last weekend because I had plans with one of my friends. To get into the ex-girlfriend part of this post…my FI dated this girl for a while a year or so before we got together, he hasn’t seen her since she broke up with him, he doesn’t like her at all, yada yada. Since we’re in his home-town every weekend and she also lives there, I’ve just been waiting for the time that we run into her. Not that it’s a big deal, because clearly there isnt anything there, never was, and its not like I’m a confrontational person by any means, so it doesnt bother me.
But while he was there without me he went to Wal-mart and saw her there. He hid from her of course because he didn’t want her seeing him because he really doesn’t like her from what he’s told me. But now that I’m getting ready to go with him this weekend, I’m just wondering if we’ll run into her again, because we’re going to be out a lot this weekend. Not that its a big deal at all, it’s just not something that I look forward to experiencing. From what my FI has told me, and from what his friends have also said, she is the type of girl who likes to stir up stuff and cause drama. By all means, let her if she wants, I’ll just walk away. Its just not something I’m looking forward to thats all. lol
So have any of you had run ins with the ex? Any awkward or crazy moments you’d like to share? lol! I know it’s inevitable that we’d run into her, but it’s definitely not the thing thats on the top of my “exciting things to do” list. haha
Anyway, this is just something thats been on my mind so I thought I’d share. Its not something that I’m bringing up to make myself sound bad or sound like it bothers me, I just thought I’d share and see what experiences other bees have had when it comes to this kind of thing.
Post # 3
Ha. Funny story, BOTH my two other guys I dated semi-seriously ended up at the same university as FI and I, in the same organization and same group of friends.
It was awkward at first, but since both were friendly break-ups and mostly mutal (the most recent EX before FI thought he was getting back with me till I got engaged, then he figured out it was truly and finally over) we have been able to be okay with it. FI actually ended up at ex’s dorm (oh yeah, and both ex’s are roommates!) frequently to play video games. They also live in my hometown.
His ex is slightly more awkward to be around for me, since actually (and totally unintentionally!) I am the reason they broke up. But since she has moved on and gotten a boyfriend her own age (she was 3 years younger than FI) its been good. But we also almost never see her since she lives in FIs old hometown, not where we live or where his family is now.
The most important part is, he picked you, not her! So let her start her drama, like you said, happily walk away on the arm of your man.
Post # 4
@chasegirl: thanks for sharing your story! 🙂 and you’re right, I’ll walk away on his arm if anything does happen, he did pick me and I’m so thankful for that 🙂
But thats crazy that you all ended up in the same place! I dont think I’d be able to handle that if it were me! haha all of my past relationships were serious, even though I was so young. They didnt end well and I just wouldnt want to run into them again, especially like that. lol Thats why its going to be super weird running into my FI’s ex, because it didnt end well with them and yeah, I just dont want to! haha 😛
Post # 5
@agirlwithdreams7: Totally understand! For a long time it was SUPER weird, but with the rest of our fairly large group of friends, it made it less weird. I would NOT want to run into FI ex just out of the blue. We have met, right after we got engaged actually, and she was all excited and hugged me and stuff. I think I would almost prefer her not like me because I’m not sure if it is real or not! Life would be so much less complicated if you ended up with the right person the first time you date.
Post # 6
@chasegirl: haha yeah really!
Post # 7
When FI and I met we lived in the dorms and his ex GF lived in the dorm across the street and her best friend lived in our dorm. It was a bit awkward. We were pretty cordial, but I’m really happy that the chances of us running into her ever again are pretty slim. We are getting ready to move to FI’s home town and I’m definitely hoping that we don’t run into any of FI’s ex girlfriends. I just have no desire for them to be like “OMG…You’re back in town?! We should totally hang out!”…ummm no. We’ve run into 1 or 2 guys I dated but never any real boyfriends. I don’t know how I’d act in that situation. It would be pretty awkward though lol.
Post # 8
For me my FI’s Ex experience was a little weird. FI and I started dating when I transferred back to my old school district after spending the first two years of HS somewhere else. At first I didn’t know that his ex was somebody that I knew as a good aquaintance. He eventually brought it up and mentioned that for him it was a friendship that should have never been a relationship and that he had no romantic feelings for her. So far it was smooth sailing. Then I had an interesting run in with her at a school dance. She came up to me in tears. She was saying things like “I’ve never seen him look so happy. Please just promise me that you won’t ever hurt him because this is the happiest I’ve ever seen him.” I got the impression that she was sad that she wasn’t the one to make him that happy. It was awkward and I felt bad for her. She had a boyfriend, but obviously she had never gotten over my FI.
Post # 9
@FloretteLiz: Geez, yeah that is an awkward situation. I wouldn’t ever have to worry about the tear jerker move with my FI’s ex. haha I’d have to worry about her coming up to me and mouthing me off or something. 😡 I’d much rather have the tears than what I would probably get. lol!
Post # 10
Hubs and I grew up in the same town, but luckily rarely run into ex’s (we live about 20 mins away now, but our parents still live in the same houses we grew up in). Oh, and one of our GM is my most serious ex brother. And they live together. So yeah, we do see him a good bit, but so far its not been awkward (well, at first it was, because he would say Hi to hubs, but not me, which kinda pissed me off. I just think its because I started dating hubs within a couple months of us breaking up, and he’s been single the whole 7 years we’ve been broken up). Sometimes a conversation will remind us of something that happened back when we were together, and at first, I thought it would be weird for hubs, but he’s totally fine if the past comes up from time to time. After all, I spent almost 4 years of my life with this guy, and was even starting to plan our wedding before we broke up.
Post # 11
@agirlwithdreams7: I am so thankful that the few times I have run into exes around here I was looking fabulous, a huge plus if you ask me.
To be honest I don’t communicate is any way with exes, kind of my deal, so when I do see them I just keep walking and don’t stop. I’m not rude in anyway I just don’t want to rehash old times. As for my FI we haven’t ever run into an ex of his but he is so friendly with everyone and knows EVERYONE in this town I wouldn’t be surprised if he stopped and chatted.
Post # 12
@MrsSl82be: Oh my, yeah I’d see the awkwardness there, at least at first. lol! I don’t know how I’d deal in a situation like that, but then again all of my past relationships didn’t end in such good ways either. lol Also, I made sure to stay away from all of my ex’s family and close friends afterwards just because it was akward and because they broke up with me, so I didn’t know quite how to act if that makes sense. Basically, after they ended it with me, I never saw them or their families out anywhere ever. One ex I would run into occasionally but it wasn’t too much of a big deal because we were friendly towards one another. For the others, it would just be totally awkward and like “omg get away from me” kind of a deal on my end! haha But other than that I havent encountered much awkwardness from MY exes, just not wanting to from his! lol
@Treejewel19: haha! Yeah, so I know this might seem like I’m super high maintenance but I make sure to look good before leaving the house, if I’m going to be out for an extended period of time in other places. So, if I just go to the grocery store, a place where I know I wont run into any of my exes or my FI’s ex, I dont really care, but if I’m at my FI’s parents house and we go out I have to make sure I look 100% amazing just in case we run into his ex! haha I know it’s silly, but if she ever does see me, I want that first impression of “WOW, he’s with her now, I’m dumb for leaving him” sort of thing, or something like that. lol! I guess I’m just a little spiteful mannered when it comes to her just because of the way she treated him, so I want to show off a bit. 😛 girl instinct I guess lol! I dont run into my ex’s very often, but like you, when I have I’ve looked pretty darn amazing. haha
Post # 13
We ALMOST ran into FH’s one and only ex today. We went to the movie theatre on the other side of town. Once we walked into the lobby he starts plowing over me like he can’t see me (I know I can’t walk in a straight line but not this bad), after barking at him he whispers that the girl standing in the opposite direction was his ex. But I didn’t have my ring on so even if she saw us and somehow reconized FH (he cut his hair much shorter and his face has matured) he couldn’t brag about how successful he was. I kind of want to meet her though- she’s supposed to be a bit of a nutcase and those are always interesting.
FH has only met one of my ex’s. Ex2 and I played in a community band together for a couple summers along with his girlfriend (we were stand partners and got along famously). FH came to a concert and it was super awkward because neither wanted to talk to each other but with 20 people in the audience it was kind of hard to ignore eachother.
Ex3 and probably the most serious one sent me a message on fb the other week. He’s not as crazy as FH’s ex but the message makes it sound like he’s an ADD squrriel on crack. I haven’t figured out how to respond but FH loves that it shows just how unintellectual ex3 is (to put it nicely).
Post # 14
Haha once I ran into my ex on a greyhound bus of all places — we were both travelling home from Uni for the holidays and happened to catch the same bus! Not only that, but it was PACKED because it was around Christmas, so who did he decide to sit with? Yeah, he sat beside me. For four hours. It was the epitome of awkward conversation and awkwardly trying to ignore the person less than 6inches to your leftright.
Definitely not a situation I would look forward to repeating haha.
Post # 15
Ooh. We ran into FI’s ex all the time (who he was with for three years a lot) we moved to Greenville, a college town when I started school and he was already there but we just got our own place. There are four memorable times:
1. The first time I ever came into contact with her, she had no idea we were there. She was sitting in a corner of our favorite japanese restaurant and never once saw us. It was just so awkward because she was sitting underneath the only TV in the place.
2. I was at Ross just walking around looking for clothes in our hometown – where all three of us were born and raised and visited often due to our parents. I’m not sure if she knew that I was his gf at the time but I sure knew her.
3. We live literally around the corner from Food Lion, we were coming back into town and needed dog food so we just stopped. I just so happened to make a random goofy comment; FI said, “why don’t you stay in the car.” I replied “why, is your gf in there”. Low and behold, we walk in, I joke (or so I think) and say “oh I was right, there’s “Ex”.” We get closer and it actually is her. So she spends the entire time we’re in there hiding from us and refused to check out or even get in line while we were in line.
4. We were at dinner with FMIL and EX walked in. First time she spoke to ANY of us since we started dating, She waved, said hi to FI and FSIL and held a convo with FMIL. I’m just chilling there…
I’m sure to run into her a million times before the wedding. Haha
Post # 16
Boy am I lucky that I have an understanding FI… I’ve never met any of his previous girlfriends or flings but he’s met two of my ex-boyfriends, encouraged me to do some online freelancing for another ex and met my one and only one night stand!
High school ex and his gf still live in the same town as we do – I’m Facebook friends with him but we don’t really chat anymore. Our lives have just gone in two completely different directions. We bumped into them at the best local Chinese place… awkward more because we were introducing people that already online “know” each other.
Most recent ex was a bit of a fail move – he remained part of our group of friends even when we split. Tremendously awkward as he refused to speak to me for over a year after we split up (in fact, until I started dating FI). I’m well aware this ex is a total douche and my darling FI had to put up with him being round from the start. FI would attempt to make conversation with this ex but boy, that was painful. Recent Ex has burned his bridges with more members of our group of friends so we don’t have to see him as often anymore (which is nice).
We were attending a party at a former flatmate’s house about a year into our relationship and I knew that my one-and-only one night stand would be there… FI was already aware of this guy (who thankfully put me off one night stands for life!) and I thought it would be good for him to be aware of the situation. Thank goodness he was, because ONS guy would not stop hitting on me ALL night, even with his gf there! He clearly has a different memory of events than I do!
Given how honest we are in our relationship and given we know why those relationships ended, I think I would be alright bumping into any of his exes. It’s not the most comfortable way to spend some time, but I sure think it would be an interesting insight into his past – at least that’s what FI tells me LOL