(Closed) The dreaded ex-girlfriend…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5548 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

Ha. Funny story, BOTH my two other guys I dated semi-seriously ended up at the same university as FI and I, in the same organization and same group of friends.

It was awkward at first, but since both were friendly break-ups and mostly mutal (the most recent EX before FI thought he was getting back with me till I got engaged, then he figured out it was truly and finally over) we have been able to be okay with it. FI actually ended up at ex’s dorm (oh yeah, and both ex’s  are roommates!) frequently to play video games. They also live in my hometown. 

His ex is slightly more awkward to be around for me, since actually (and totally unintentionally!) I am the reason they broke up. But since she has moved on and gotten a boyfriend her own age (she was 3 years younger than FI) its been good. But we also almost never see her since she lives in FIs old hometown, not where we live or where his family is now.

The most important part is, he picked you, not her! So let her start her drama, like you said, happily walk away on the arm of your man.

Post # 5
Member
5548 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

@agirlwithdreams7: Totally understand! For a long time it was SUPER weird, but with the rest of our fairly large group of friends, it made it less weird. I would NOT want to run into FI ex just out of the blue. We have met, right after we got engaged actually, and she was all excited and hugged me and stuff. I think I would almost prefer her not like me because I’m not sure if it is real or not! Life would be so much less complicated if you ended up with the right person the first time you date.

Post # 7
Member
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

When FI and I met we lived in the dorms and his ex GF lived in the dorm across the street and her best friend lived in our dorm. It was a bit awkward. We were pretty cordial, but I’m really happy that the chances of us running into her ever again are pretty slim. We are getting ready to move to FI’s home town and I’m definitely hoping that we don’t run into any of FI’s ex girlfriends. I just have no desire for them to be like “OMG…You’re back in town?! We should totally hang out!”…ummm no. We’ve run into 1 or 2 guys I dated but never any real boyfriends. I don’t know how I’d act in that situation. It would be pretty awkward though lol.

Post # 8
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

For me my FI’s Ex experience was a little weird. FI and I started dating when I transferred back to my old school district after spending the first two years of HS somewhere else. At first I didn’t know that his ex was somebody that I knew as a good aquaintance. He eventually brought it up and mentioned that for him it was a friendship that should have never been a relationship and that he had no romantic feelings for her.  So far it was smooth sailing. Then I had an interesting run in with her at a school dance. She came up to me in tears. She was saying things like “I’ve never seen him look so happy. Please just promise me that you won’t ever hurt him because this is the happiest I’ve ever seen him.” I got the impression that she was sad that she wasn’t the one to make him that happy. It was awkward and I felt bad for her. She had a boyfriend, but obviously she had never gotten over my FI. 

Post # 10
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Hubs and I grew up in the same town, but luckily rarely run into ex’s (we live about 20 mins away now, but our parents still live in the same houses we grew up in). Oh, and one of our GM is my most serious ex brother. And they live together. So yeah, we do see him a good bit, but so far its not been awkward (well, at first it was, because he would say Hi to hubs, but not me, which kinda pissed me off. I just think its because I started dating hubs within a couple months of us breaking up, and he’s been single the whole 7 years we’ve been broken up). Sometimes a conversation will remind us of something that happened back when we were together, and at first, I thought it would be weird for hubs, but he’s totally fine if the past comes up from time to time. After all, I spent almost 4 years of my life with this guy, and was even starting to plan our wedding before we broke up.

Post # 11
Hostess
11174 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@agirlwithdreams7: I am so thankful that the few times I have run into exes around here I was looking fabulous, a huge plus if you ask me.

To be honest I don’t communicate is any way with exes, kind of my deal, so when I do see them I just keep walking and don’t stop. I’m not rude in anyway I just don’t want to rehash old times. As for my FI we haven’t ever run into an ex of his but he is so friendly with everyone and knows EVERYONE in this town I wouldn’t be surprised if he stopped and chatted.

Post # 13
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We ALMOST ran into FH’s one and only ex today. We went to the movie theatre on the other side of town. Once we walked into the lobby he starts plowing over me like he can’t see me (I know I can’t walk in a straight line but not this bad), after barking at him he whispers that the girl standing in the opposite direction was his ex. But I didn’t have my ring on so even if she saw us and somehow reconized FH (he cut his hair much shorter and his face has matured) he couldn’t brag about how successful he was. I kind of want to meet her though- she’s supposed to be a bit of a nutcase and those are always interesting.

FH has only met one of my ex’s. Ex2 and I played in a community band together for a couple summers along with his girlfriend (we were stand partners and got along famously). FH came to a concert and it was super awkward because neither wanted to talk to each other but with 20 people in the audience it was kind of hard to ignore eachother.

Ex3 and probably the most serious one sent me a message on fb the other week. He’s not as crazy as FH’s ex but the message makes it sound like he’s an ADD squrriel on crack. I haven’t figured out how to respond but FH loves that it shows just how unintellectual ex3 is (to put it nicely).

Post # 14
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Haha once I ran into my ex on a greyhound bus of all places — we were both travelling home from Uni for the holidays and happened to catch the same bus! Not only that, but it was PACKED because it was around Christmas, so who did he decide to sit with? Yeah, he sat beside me. For four hours. It was the epitome of awkward conversation and awkwardly trying to ignore the person less than 6inches to your leftright.

Definitely not a situation I would look forward to repeating haha.

Post # 15
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Ooh.  We ran into FI’s ex all the time (who he was with for three years a lot) we moved to Greenville, a college town when I started school and he was already there but we just got our own place.  There are four memorable times:

1. The first time I ever came into contact with her, she had no idea we were there.  She was sitting in a corner of our favorite japanese restaurant  and never once saw us. It was just so awkward because she was sitting underneath the only TV in the place.

2. I was at Ross just walking around looking for clothes in our hometown – where all three of us were born and raised and visited often due to our parents. I’m not sure if she knew that I was his gf at the time but I sure knew her.

3. We live literally around the corner from Food Lion, we were coming back into town and needed dog food so we just stopped.  I just so happened to make a random goofy comment; FI said, “why don’t you stay in the car.” I replied “why, is your gf in there”. Low and behold, we walk in, I joke (or so I think) and say “oh I was right, there’s “Ex”.” We get closer and it actually is her.  So she spends the entire time we’re in there hiding from us and refused to check out or even get in line while we were in line. 

4. We were at dinner with FMIL and EX walked in. First time she spoke to ANY of us since we started dating, She waved, said hi to FI and FSIL and held a convo with FMIL. I’m just chilling there…

I’m sure to run into her a million times before the wedding. Haha

Post # 16
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Boy am I lucky that I have an understanding FI… I’ve never met any of his previous girlfriends or flings but he’s met two of my ex-boyfriends, encouraged me to do some online freelancing for another ex and met my one and only one night stand!

High school ex and his gf still live in the same town as we do – I’m Facebook friends with him but we don’t really chat anymore. Our lives have just gone in two completely different directions. We bumped into them at the best local Chinese place… awkward more because we were introducing people that already online “know” each other.

Most recent ex was a bit of a fail move – he remained part of our group of friends even when we split. Tremendously awkward as he refused to speak to me for over a year after we split up (in fact, until I started dating FI). I’m well aware this ex is a total douche and my darling FI had to put up with him being round from the start. FI would attempt to make conversation with this ex but boy, that was painful. Recent Ex has burned his bridges with more members of our group of friends so we don’t have to see him as often anymore (which is nice).

We were attending a party at a former flatmate’s house about a year into our relationship and I knew that my one-and-only one night stand would be there… FI was already aware of this guy (who thankfully put me off one night stands for life!) and I thought it would be good for him to be aware of the situation. Thank goodness he was, because ONS guy would not stop hitting on me ALL night, even with his gf there! He clearly has a different memory of events than I do!

Given how honest we are in our relationship and given we know why those relationships ended, I think I would be alright bumping into any of his exes. It’s not the most comfortable way to spend some time, but I sure think it would be an interesting insight into his past – at least that’s what FI tells me LOL

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