Post # 1
Like many brides, I try to pick my battles when it comes to various aspects of our wedding and how my parents feel about them. This one is about having a receiving line after the ceremony: I couldn’t find enough reasons to argue against it, and my mother really wants one, so I caved. I figured, as with many things, “how bad could it be? I’ll smile and thank each person for coming, and direct them into the reception.”
And then yesterday it hit me: as the bride, people will want to congratulate me (fine), tell me I look beautiful (great!) and… hug me. Oh no. No, no, NO! I am not a “hugger”, I strongly dislike people touching me, and I’m not interested in the germs, makeup, or other things transferred from 100 people. I don’t want hugs, I don’t want people touching me/my gown/face/hair, and I definitely don’t want lots of kisses from people with colds (ahem, hazard of a winter wedding).
Okay, enough ranting. But now what do I do? Is it posible to fend off hugs with a firm smile and a handshake? I don’t think I can suppress my cringing reaction to the invasion of personal space, especially for every single guest. Should I *gulp* open the floor to a receiving line debate with my parents and hope I can win by sheer persistance? Helphelphelp!
Post # 3
I think you need to put your foot down with the receiving line if you really don’t like to be touched that much. But people will still probably try to hug you during the reception when you talk to them…
Post # 4
I say fight this one out. It clearly makes you really uncomfortable and that seems reason enough to not do one. I certainly don’t think it is a must-have (although I’m not having one because I think they’re a time-suck… so I guess I’m biased lol).
If you end up having one I do think you need to suck it up and let people hug you. It’s the norm and I think it would be really awkward to try to strong arm them into staying outside your personal bubble.
Post # 5
I think the receiving line is going to be my saving grace. This will keep greetings and estranged conversation at the reception to a minimum. But, for you it seems like you’d rather table hop at the reception. As long as you make it around to everyone by the end of the night and give them your thanks, I’d try to fight the receiving line with your parents. Why do they want you to have one?
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2011 - Laurel Rock Farms, PA
If you invited these people to the wedding…. you should not mind giving them a hug!
Post # 7
@KaitlinHudson: I think my parents want one because it’s a “guarentee” that we’ll see and thank every person who attended, even though we’ll absolutely visit every table during the reception anyway. I think they want it more for themselves than anyone else, and it would be one of the few so-called traditional elements of the day.
Post # 8
@BostonBaby: If it’s something you feel strongly enough about (which you sound like you do) I’d talk to your parents about how big of a deal it is to you. I can’t remember the last wedding I’ve been to where the bride and groom had a receiving line.
Post # 9
I think it’s a nice thing to do, greet/thank your guest right after the ceremony. Just reach your hand out first or gently step back when someone’s coming at you with a hug. IDK. I think they’d understand you want to be careful with your dress and make-up.
Post # 10
@BrookeClouser: If you invited these people to the wedding…. you should not mind giving them a hug!
I take it you like hugs? 🙂
I have invited my mom’s 9 siblings, FI’s aunts and uncles, and several people from work. I like them, but I do not want to hug them!
The only people I LIKE to hug are my Mom and FI.
Post # 11
Have you considered just visiting every table at the reception? Most people are seated and less would offer hugs (if that is the part your dreading). Your parents could also do the same and give as many hugs as they desire!
Post # 12
We skipped the receiving line and instead went table to table. We had about 90 guests and it worked really well. We had our photographer follow up around and we got group pictures of all the tables (with us in them of course!). Now I have an awesome way to remember who was all there and who they sat with, etc.
Post # 13
I like the table-to-table idea some PP have suggested. This way most people are seated and won’t dart up to all give you hugs. Plus, in that situation, you can be in control of the touching by placing a hand on their arm or shoulder while you thank them, if you’d like. (Germ-ex waiting for you at your head table to fight off the germs.)
Post # 14
We were able to avoid the recieving line because we hae a very limited time in our ceremony spot (It was a fluke that we were able to get it and being told we have to be completely cleared out by 6:30 for a major production going on that night was fine by me so long as I got my ceremony location!) So after the ceremony we are going to quickly leave and have the guests escorted across the street to the other building for the reception so we can go back in, get our group pictures done (or whatever is left of them) and then have it torn down before 6:30. So, YAY for excuses! If I HAD to have areceiving line I would make sure that I said my thank-yous and if the tried to hug me (and thus pully at my veil painfully) suddenly “notice the next person” as as rudely as possible. At the same time you have to understand that people like to hug and whether you like it or not you will be getting hugs all night! But as far as a recieving line goes, I figure you will be doingthe same thing at the reception so why not spend that time with your new husband alone. Lucky for me he is Jewish and ontop of the having to be out be a certain time, Jewish custom says that we are supposed to spend some time alone together after the ceremony… and since we aren’t signing the ketubah prior to the ceremony because I am sticking to my traditional Christian “not seeing eachother before the ceremony” thing we have to take care of that as well, oh darn! No time for a recieving line! lol
Post # 15
I think “I don’t want a receiving line, and it’s my wedding” is argument enough against it.
Post # 16
Dont do a recieving line. People will hug you for sure. Just go to each table during dinner and say hi to each guest. They will be sitting down eating and will not be able to hug you.