The dreaded "Sooner than later" reassurance

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Do you have a general timeline? The next 6 months, the next year, next few years?

We’ve seen “sooner rather than later” mean “tomorrow”, and we’ve also seen it mean “I’m buying time and you’re never getting a ring, ever.”

But I have my hopes on the first one for you!

Post # 4
30 posts

I wish I had some insight…but I have empathy!

Is he willing to give you a little more info? That would be helpful, I’m sure.

Post # 6
1847 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@SomedaymrsWDS:  I HATED the sooner rather than later talk!! I had to have a specific conversation with him about what “soon” meant.  To me, “soon” meant within a couple months. To him, “soon” was within like 9-12 months… So he needed to know my definition of “soon” so that he would quit telling me “soon enough”!! 🙂

Post # 7
1360 posts
Bumble bee

My SO knows that I would KILL him if he said this. To answer the question, IMO it is absolutely meaningless. It’s even worse than “soon”, which is already super vague, it’s “soonER”. Assuming time is infinite, there is no “end time” so “sooner” could be an infinitely great amount of time, since there will always be a “later”. If you believe in an ending to time, or if you think he is referring to your lifetime’s or the Earth’s timeframe, it’s still pretty useless, since it could be the second before you die or the second before 5 billion years from now when the Earth melts.

I think some guys whose SOs post here get a kick out of messing with them (by using this phrase), because they have NO IDEA how important it is to us.

If your SO says this with a little wink and smirk, you’re good. Otherwise, you need to have a talk with him if you really want an answer to the “when” question.

Post # 9
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I guess I don’t get it – if you’ve told your exes and young kids that you’re getting married, aren’t you engaged? If you are not, then why would you tell people that, especially the kids?

Post # 11
20 posts

SomedaymrsWDS: I too have been told soon… back in early July.  My boyfriend and I are in our thirties (I’m 33; he’s 38) and money isn’t an issue for a ring. 

However, when he said soon, I thought within a month or two.  He meant that he’s working on a ring, it’s being custom made.  We’re going on vacation this month and I highly suspect it will happen then. 

That said, I did have a breakdown a few months ago and he said it would happen before our 2 year anniversary in December.  After I found that out, I’ve been much better at controlling the “crazy waiting girl”.

Fingers crossed, he’s working on a custom ring.  Smile

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