Post # 1
So according to conversation between myself and SO, we will be engaged by the end of this year…
However, this was brought up a while ago. Like last Febrauary. LOL. I told myself to shut it up until then.
So out of nowhere, he asks me what I want for Christmas yesterday. Last year, 2 months after Christmas at my birthday he asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said to be engaged to the man of my dreams. Didnt happen, he wasn’t ready. Which was totally fine. We have only been together about 18 months, I am 28 and he is 30.
So you can imagine what I wanted to say what I wanted for Christmas, but my dumb ass just couldn’t bring myself to say it! I think even though we have had honest open discussion about getting engaged by the end of the year I am still worried he will go back on his decision and wait (he has never given me a reason to believe this, but I have ISSUES) So I said “I don’t know, I already have everything I want and need.” He even gave me a weird look and said “Really, so you don’t want anything?” I just said “I don’t know, I need to think about it” and we dropped it.
Ugh!! This is so frustrating. I have talked this subject to DEATH with him and made it clear about what I want out of this relationship. Why is he torturing me with these questions??? Did I do a stupid thing?? And is anyone else getting asked this question?
Post # 3
Maybe I am just overanylizing, and he really just wants to know what other things I could want for Christmas…lol.
Post # 4
@Aklove: i waited more than 8 years, the last 2 Christmases my answer was ‘you know what I want’ last year, he told me quite plainly that it wouldn’t be ready for Christmas (I got it 3 months later for my birthday). I would do the same if I were you – hopefully he brings it up again. Alternately, you could say – I’ve been thinking about it, there’s only one thing I want for Christmas, you know that. Or, if you want to be really forward – find a jewellery flyer or website and say ‘honey, i want THAT for christmas’
Post # 5
@Aklove: I don’t think you did anything stupid! I don’t think an engagement ring is appropriate to ask for for Christmas.
My SO was asking me last night and I am giving him some inexpensive gift ideas (bath and body works lotions, these cute mugs from Starbucks, etc.) because we both know that I want a ring. I also added at the end, “and of course hon, you always do a great job at picking out jewelry.”
Does your SO know what kind of ring you would like?
Post # 6
@Aklove: Yep I suspect that is the case. If I were you I would give him a list of things you would like with a wide range of prices. MY SO told me he just wanted a big list of things he could choose from that he knew I would like.
Post # 7
@MsGinkgo: My style would be to email a pic of the ring I want. For sure. Straight and to the point!
Post # 8
If it was me I”d probably throw out a “Regarding Christmas, you already know what I REALLY want. But if you’re talking about material items, maybe this or this… or “i have to think about what i want material wise”
That’s probably enough to put it back out into the universe without being blatant
Post # 9
@Aklove: Think about something ELSE that you want… a new camera… a gift card to sephora… having your car detailed…a massage or pedicure… seriously… something ELSE…
And try not to make him feel bad if it doesnt happen… eventually it will… and if he feels pressured it wont end up happening in a special way… he knows you want to get engaged… let him ask on his own terms…
I completely understand that there is only ONE thing you want, but really you’ll want it to be special and you will never forgive yourself if YOU are the reason that it’s not… I know I haven’t, even after 3 years…
Post # 10
@Aklove: I would be honest with him. You said you shut it up in February; have you discussed engagement/marriage again since then? Do you know if he’s ready yet? Do you know where your relationship stands right now? These are all important things to ask/know about any relationship.
Post # 11
If it’s been more than 3 or 6 months since the last time you talked about it, I’d throw it out there!
“Well, my Christmas dream is winding up your fiancee!”
Post # 12
@Aklove: Your SO already knows what you want so I shouldn’t mention it again. I’m in the same boat: I hoped for the ring last Christmas, didn’t happen but he noticed some disappointment when that little square box under the tree contained diamond earrings and not the e-ring. Only a couple of letters difference but a huge difference for waiting bee’s:)
This year I haven’t mentioned Christmas yet and he hasn’t asked. 6 more weeks to go!
Post # 13
@sugar_biscuit: Yup he sure does! I showed him last Feb 🙂
Post # 14
@Aklove: Woo hoo! I’m sending good thoughts your way for a holiday proposal!
Post # 15
I’d give him a list of other gifts. He already knows you want a ring. If he’s not ready to propose at Christmas, then what? Would you be upset if he picked something else (or gave you nothing) in the event that you aren’t getting a ring?
Post # 16
@sostobe: I agree, he knows you really want! Maybe give him a list of other things you like…is your SO the kind to propose on a holiday? I know mine doesn’t want to because he wants to really surprise me.
I’m sure when he’s ready, he’ll do it but I’m sure he’s appreciating you not pressuring him this whole time! Good luck and we’re all with you!! 😀