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:( I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with the dress shopping! Is she the only option for a seamstress, near you, or can you go to someone else? Could you order a dress from one of the online vendors, and just have it altered near you?
I think switching out to ivory/champagne/light gold/light pink would be beautiful, for your colors. I love pink and gold together, and I'm sure you could find lots of inspiration boards online. Good luck!
I agree - culture or not, find a different seamstress! One who is wiling and able to work with your body. I get a lot of flack about my size here too (I'm an 8, and get asked ALL THE TIME on the street how I find clothing to fit me because I'm "so big"), but there are those who are willing to let go of their preconceived notions and recognize that I am giving them money to do what I ask, so they should just shut up and do it.
Otherwise, find a dress you love online, order it and have it taken in/fitted by your tailor.
I would definately buy your dress online. and then take the dress once u get it to be altered. There is so much to choose from online.
Is this a trend in all of that part of Asia? Would you be able to go to a nearby country to shop for dresses? There might be better options in China or Thailand? Just a thought because I know buying anything online (esp a wedding dress) can be very scary. You want to feel the fabric and see how it lays on your body.
Good luck though! I'm sure you'll find a beautiful dress :)
re: Gator's suggestion to look in another country, I'd guess Japan would be your best bet; Korea tends to be more westernized than China already, and while Thailand gets a lot of tourism business, they don't really cater to a western Wedding crowd. Japan or Korea are the most 'western' countries in Asia, IMHO. It's still hard to find stuff though...
wow. I just want to say I'm very sorry you are dealing with this...it seems that size-ism is everywhere in the world. reminds me of a situation I had years ago...I bought a really pretty dress from a store in Chicago - it was the biggest size they had (16) so I bought it and took it to a seamstress to see if she could take it OUT a bit as it was too small and I was a size 18 at the time - she looked at me and said "nope you're too fat - sorry can't do it". so I left - disheartened and angry since the dress was over $200 and was SO beautiful...and actually ended up losing 60 pounds and getting to a size 10 (obviously then the dress was too BIG! lol) - but I SO wanted to go back and rub that in the seamstress's face. I didn't but still. I know how you feel cuz she looked at me and said "sorry you're just too fat".
some people - no matter the part of the world - just have NO tact. :(
anywhoo - back to your situation - I know you really want the colors you chose (which sound BEAUTIFUL btw)...
From the pics of the dress you showed - it doesn't look as if charcoal WOULDN'T work...do you honestly think they'd clash that much? the pic of the dress has a charcoal background and I think that goes very well with the dress.
I suggest looking at projectwedding.com and see if they have any inspriation boards for you. I wish I had a perfect answer to help with your situation - and I'm sure once it's all said and done you will look gorgeous in your dress and your wedding will be just as gorgeous!
I've looked into buying online, but it's a huge headache. For example, David's Bridal only ships to the US, but I'm Canadian. So I would have to have it shipped to a friend, who would then ship it to Korea, where I would have to get it altered (I won't be back in Canada in enough time for alterations), and then take it back on the plane to NA. Plus...I have had a few packages that I not arrived or been delayed 3 months, so I'm a little freaked out about having my wedding dress shipped.
I have thought about going to Shanghai or Hong Kong (where my sister lives), but my sister has been in HK for only a few months and her Cantonese is non-existant. Also, if I went to Shanghai I would have to add the price of the flight/hotel stay onto the dress which, even with the cheaper price of the dress, would be considerable. Thailand/Vietnam - good for regular clothes but wedding dress?? Japan is probably much more expensive plus flight etc. etc.
So for now I'm sticking with Korea where I at least know some of the language, can take a bilingual friend and and visit the shop on occasion to check up on the dress, but I am trying to find someone else. By the way...when I walked in she measured me she said, 'Wow, when you walked in you didn't look fat, but now that I have your measurements, you're enormous! You have princess hands though!!.' Not that I was suprised...I get that allllll the time.
Pretty much every place will be the same though...1 or 2 dresses to try on. In NA the idea is to please and flatter the customer...it's a bit different here. If they think the enormous bow should stay on your butt....the bow will stay on the butt whether you like it or not. Hopefully I'll be able to find another place with a dress that's a little less busy, but at your suggestion jhphi, I've been checking some other posters' champagne/pink colours, and I see some promise in the colour scheme.^^
So sorry! I have a South Korean friend who was considered enormous in her country because whe was a size 8. Sounds brutal. how long do you have for alterations in Canada. Even if it is just a week, your friend may be able to line up a seamstress for you there if you order online. It may be worth it!
could you buy one off ebay and get it made for your size? (usually the stores are based in china and ship worldwide including Korea)
It might be a bit more work, but I would definitely find an alternative way to get a dress than to go to that woman. NO ONE needs to be talked to like that, especially when they're trying to get a wedding dress made. You're supposed to feel beautiful, not enormous! I'm absolutely furious for you!
When I lived in Thailand, people thought I was "enormous" and said that there were no clothes to fit me that I could get-- at a size 6! The problem was my breasts, I guess... I had my clothes custom made, and the things I did that with are some of my favorite clothes.
Thanks for all your comments girls. WB is such a lovely and supportive place! It's helpful to hear your stories about being 'enormous' to put everything in perspective (@Mrs DG - my breasts are the problem too!!!)
@June Bride, I'll go and check out that site you mentioned. I think if I can imagine how this dress could fit into the wedding and colour scheme I imagined I will feel much better about the whole thing.
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I went 'shopping' for my wedding dress on Saturday here in Seoul. Koreans almost always rent their dress, so there is almost nowhere to go to buy a dress. I was given a website of a place that does online orders but will also alter a dress too. I went in to see the seamstress, but even though she is a seamstress....she will only make me a few dresses because she thinks I'm enormous (I'm size 14...but that's unheard of here). I wanted a particular dress on the website, but she says the fabric is unavailable now and she won't substitute the fabric. She showed me 1 dress with a cathedral length train which is completely out of the question for our venue and style of wedding. The only other option is this dress. http://www.weddingelysia.com/front/php/product.php?product_no=105&main_cate_no=4&display_group=1 It's okay...it doesn't make me look hideous...and she will fit it to me. However, my initial plan for colours was ivory/charcoal/light pink...but this one has hints of champagne/gold in it. It's also quite busy, so I can't overlook the colours in the dress. What can I do for colours now? (I hate yellow/orange/not a fan of blue/can't do red because it won't fit the venue). I feel a little thrown by this change of dress and now I don't know what to do with my colours....please help!