Post # 1
time is ticking away, and i haven’t even made a single appointment to view any dresses.
i am ashamed of my body, and the store (i won a competition) that i have to purchase my gown from is full of thin, beautiful girls with flawless skin and not a bump in the wrong place on them. i have lopsided boobs, stretch marks, bad skin and have gained probably 30kg (i was overweight before that!) in the past 12 months due to stress and PCOS.
not to mention the store is the most expensive place in town. the prize includes a dress/alterations worth up to $2000, which of course does not go very far on wedding gowns, and there is noooo way we can afford to go over that budget.
and what makes matters worse, is the bridal store down the street is the one to carry maggie sottero’s lines… which is what i always invisaged me wearing on the big day.
i am just so fearful of making an appointment and not finding anything that could fit me – i don’t want to be forced into small gowns and have to imagine what it would look and fit like in my size. i don’t want the appointment to go nowhere, and leave the store without finding a dress – because i literally cannot shop elsewhere.
i know i shouldn’t focus on the things that could possibly go wrong, and instead cross my fingers things go right – but it’s hard.
ah 🙁 any encouragement would be very welcomed. x
Post # 3
So, what if you go in there and there IS a dress that fits? What if you go in there and you find on that looks perfect on you? What if every woman, no matter how small or perfect they look to you, hates how they look at times? You don’t know if they have stretch marks. You don’t know if their boobs are perfect.
A few things are true
1-you need a dress
2- you need to find it in this store
avoiding it is not going to make it go away.
Go in there with an open mind. Go in with some proper undergarments. Put your face on and try things on.
Post # 4
@JL4SM: Most things in life are rarely as bad as we convince ourselves they will be.
As Nike says, Just Do It.
Post # 5
Make the appointment, and make the best out of it. Try to have fun!! This should be an enjoyable experience, and no matter what, dont let anyone ruin that for you!
Post # 6
I felt like this. I kept putting of making an appointment, knowing I would hate every dress on me, that I would look fat and feel exposed, that I would leave embarrassed that none of the dresses fit. You know what, when I went, the girl picked out the most flattering dresses for my body type. And when I didn’t like a dress, it wasn’t because I didn’t like the way I looked in it. I actually felt good in all the dresses I tried, and they were much more flattering than I had expected. I left happy and with a dress. Good luck!!
Post # 7
@JL4SM: My wedding is in March, and I’m not the weight I want to be either. But I’ve lost ten pounds by cutting carbs.
I also used a LivingSocial for Curves (not the hippest place ever, but that’s how out of shape I am after my knee injury). There’s a different one going on right now. I would like to be a little toned, but I am already spending my willpower eating right and forcing myself to get this planning done. I am not going to bullshit myself into saying I will go to some hardcore bootcamp or some such. That would probably work for you, too–forget about increasing your exercise routine and intensity, because honestly you’re probably not going to have the hours in the day if you work full-time. Instead, exercise low-intensity when you can and focus on your diet.
The bonus to cutting carbs is that there is a rapid initial weight loss, and you lose from the belly first.
I wouldn’t worry about the other girls, though. Getting married is not something you earn from being beautiful. They may have blessings and privileges you can’t even see and aren’t immediately privy to. I’ve struggled with body image a lot, and I’ve found that by not immediately judging others (it’s not fair that she’s just so naturally pretty without even having to TRY) it’s easier to see why they have no right to judge me (they have no idea I’m hypothyroid, or what that’s like). You may be facing different struggles, so of course you won’t look the same at any given point in life as any given set of girls. The important thing is to improve your body/weight to the point of being healthy if you’re experiencing issues, and to let improvements in your self-esteem take you the rest of the way. Your FI obviously thinks you are beautiful, and hopefully soon you can get to that point, too. There is some element of working on the external, but it’s mostly going to be mental.
You found a man who wants to spend the rest of his life with you, who you love in return. You deserve a beautiful dress as much as any other girl in there. Plus, you never know what will be on sale or available in a sample.
Best of luck, and if you want any more advice on low-carb, PM me.
Post # 8
If you feel stressed that the store has many skinny customers walking about while you look at the dresses, why not make an appointment when there is less people? Like Monday mornings. Probably you would have the whole place to yourself maybe?
And when you call the store to make the appointment, maybe you could explain to them your worries about finding gorgeous plus-sized dresses in your budget and see how they can help you. Ask about maggie sottero if you have a design you like in mind and ask about their sample sizes and your size concerns. The store is supposed to help you! Don’t be scared/stressed/worried.
Chin up! Shoulders back. And stand tall. You have a right to buy a beautiful dress no matter your size or shape.
Post # 9
thank you for all the encouragement and good luck, i appreciate it immensely.
these are the labels the store stocks (taken from their website):
brides by mancini
only you by jean fox
i have seen some casablanca dresses on plus size brides, but am not familiar with the other brands. i’ve googled them and don’t seem to like any of their styles, really. gahhhhhhhh. i just want a maggie dress (they don’t stock them, at all!) 🙁
@Jaey: the sales girls are the ones i was referring to earlier.
i just i will just have to bite the bullet, so to speak and make an appointment. i just really do not want to have to be undressed infront of a total stranger, that is what i am most uncomfortable with.
Post # 10
@JL4SM: Aww. Well, when I tried on dresses, I was never naked in front of them. They left the room while I put on the corset-y thing and the slip and then came in to tighten the corset-y thing as needed. So it’s not like you have to strip naked in front of them! I’m sure they carry plus size dresses. I dreaded dress shopping, but it ended up okay. Keep your chin up! You are who you are; don’t let them make you feel ashamed of it. They are trying to sell to you, so most likely all the sales ladies will be extremely kind and complimentary.
Post # 11
@loving_life: thank you x – very reassuring.
Post # 12
Is this store by any chance Spurlings?
Im not sure where you are in Australia, or what size you are but im also a bigger girl and although the had some dresses that i couldnt try on because they were to small, there were also some that had to be clipped. I ended up getting my dress from Spurlings, a Nicolina which they stock but isnt on their website.
Post # 13
You won’t have any trouble.
I wore a brides by mancini dress, and when I tried it on it was in an 18. I ended up losing weight to fit in a 14, but I still looked awesome in the 18 too 😛
Also, my dress was around the 2000 mark, so I think you should stop being scared and GO!
Post # 14
Also my dress cost $995 at half price
Post # 15
@JL4SM: I was also terrified about trying on dresses and that they wouldn’t have anything I could fit in to to try on so I made a phone call to the local salon to ask what the largest sizes they had in stock were. That meant I could be anonymous and not be embarrassed on the day
Post # 16
5 feet 7, 63 kilos, and I have strechmarks. I’ve never even had kids! And its not just little ones on my hips, also my arms, legs, stomach and butt. I don’t care, I grew fast when I was younger. That’s my business, not anyone elses, and no one else cares, honestly.
Can you sell the voucher on eBay or something?