Weddingbee boards

Wow. I feel an aweful lot like a truck just ran me over, hollowed me out, and left me for dead. My FI just called off the wedding. I've been crying for the last hour. Every time I think I have it under control, I break into sobs again.  He says he loves me, wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but he does not want to marry me. Not right now and not in the foreseeable future. We have been engaged for almost a full year. We are 7 months out from the wedding with everything booked, deposits having been paid, and Save the Dates having been sent far and wide.

I said to him,"We've been engaged for a Year! It didn't occur to you before now?!" and his responce was that he'd not really thought about any of it until now! WTF?! After he said his piece, I kicked him out for the weekend. I'm so deeply hurt that I wanted him gone both before I said anything I'd regret and before I broke down crying all the way. I didn't know what else to say to him. I did thank him for being honest with me, told him I still loved him, and then politly asked him to get the heck out.

I should have seen this coming since this was already the worst January ever. So far this month I have had my car permenatly breakdown, found out my apartment possibly has black mold and we'd need to move, 3 of my uncles died (all in the last two weeks!), my pet bunny has been sick, and, well, now this. 2010 is not being kind to me thus far.

Oh I am SO sorry to hear this. I can't even imagine the pain you are going through. I pray that you will find peace in the midst of the chaos.

More hugs. Hugs hugs.

Oh Rabbit I'm so sorry. I don't really know what else to say other than hang in there and maybe you can talk through it more with him to figure out what happened when you feel up to talking.

Thanks everyone. i just feel so hurt and set adrift right now. He keeps sending me text messages saying he's sorry he hurt me and that his home is wherever I am. Sweet, but its not really touching the pain in my chest. We're going to meet to talk sometime tomorrow, but i don't know what to say. I feel, how can I ever trust him to follow through on anything important ever again? i feel so emotionally exhausted and physically strung out.

@lilyfaith- I wish I had a strong support system. I've been alone with this basically all night. My one good friend is very far away in Vegas. We talked but that didn't really help as she had nothing to say basically. Not only can she not say anything to perk me up, but she's never had a relationship last more then a few weeks and has never been in love. Makes it difficult for her to give me advice of the heart, ya know? My sister, like my mom, is unreliable and not someone to turn to in a crisis. My brother would have no clue what to do and has his own problems right now. My dad would say all the wrong things (he always does in situations of the heart). My other "close" friend in the area thinks marriage is for suckers and would tell me I had no business gettng married in the first place. i have no real close friends left around here. Everyone has either moved away or grown apart. I have spent all night alone, in my own head with all this.

That basically describes my whole life, ever.

O dear o dear. My heart truly aches so much for you. I am so sorry! He should have thought about this a lot sooner, my FI even agrees (I had a moment of WTH? when reading your post and he asked to be clued in) I just wanna sit and eat ice cream with you. ((((HUGS))) So so sorry. I really hope things work out the best for you, I believe everything happens for a reason and that good things will come of this.