I have been MIA for 2 months as I have been dealing with the worst possible thing ever. Ok maybe not the worst but while inside this horrible tornado I felt like I couldn’t breathe! Afte a few months I finally feel ready to vent on the bee. Even looking at anything wedding related destroyed my heart for so long!
Last year Michaels appendix ruptured and I was sitting next to Susan (his mother) when naked pictures of women were being texted to Michael’s phone. Susan urged me not to jump to conclusions and talk with him. Upon further investigation I discovered that he had been on numerous dating websites messaging girls the whole time we were together. He invited these girls out to dinner, to the house in which I was living in, sent them fully nude pictures, and solicitied sex from them. He continued conversations with these women for months. Including setting up a friend with benefits situation with a married woman. He also made numerous posts on craigslist for sex with pregnant women at this time. As well he posted an ad on craigslist including me soliciting for a threesome without my consent.
Of course since Michael was just coming out of surgery I would not dare leave his side. I stood by him and told him we would have a conversation later. Susan and I were sitting on the couch and she told me I would marry her son one day. I eventually forgave him and decided to move past this because I loved him.
The holidays came and went and I was so blissfully happy with the man I love. I had the opportunity to spend Christmas with his family and at that point I knew I wanted to spend my life with Michael.
However not everything was grand. Michael and I did not have a sexual relationship. Whether it be from stress, severe past medical issues, or psychological issues. I urged him to see a doctor and I would do whatever it took to help him through this difficult time. I made my feelings known to Michael many times regarding my not feeling wanted or our lack of intimacy. He was not aggressive in his treatment at all. This was the man I wanted to spend forever with I would have done anything for him.
After Michael proposed in March I was elated. So excited to start planning forever with the man of my dreams and become part of his family as well as start our own. After a rather large fight we decided to go to therapy for communication and our intimacy issues. I made all the appointments of which he would cancel. I felt like the only one trying to better our relationship. I just asked for a little bit of effort. In turn Michael ask that I take better care of myself and go to the gym. Apparently I had gained weight since I met him and was too comfortable.
I continued on with wedding planning. We made decisions together, my parents made deposits, 2 wedding dresses were purchased (damn me making horrible choices), save the dates were sent, plane tickets were purchased. I decided to covert to Judaism so one day I could raise our children knowing their great ancestry. I thought I was living my fairytale.
About a month ago I went on an interview and wanted to send a thank you letter and was going to use one of Michael’s. On his computer were dozens of emails again to women. He was now back online talking to numerous women. He had set up website with naked pictures, pictures where half of my face was cropped out, and graphic propositions. My heart was crushed. While laying next to each other in bed I was building our wedding website and he was telling women that he was single for 6 weeks and looking to hook up. He was giving his number out to many women and inviting them out even offering to pick them up.
I turned to Susan again because I was in shock and did not know what to do. She told me to calmly speak with him and approach him as nice as I possibly could. When he came home I did just that. I told him I loved him and I couldn’t imagine why he would do this but I was here for him and he really needed to decide what he wanted. I gave him space to think and Michael came home the next day and professed his love for me and assured me he wanted to marry me. He admitted to having a problem and that he needed professional help.
This last month was up and down after that. The trust again was gone. I was worried when this would happen again. How far had this ever gone? One night I rolled over and asked Michael how he felt about postponing the wedding because I did not think our issues could be worked through in 5 months. He left the house and we did not speak for days.
Michael broke up with me of which I begged for him not to. I thought I was going to marry this man, have his children, grow old with him, I did not want to give up. He agreed. For the next week our relationship was strained. I constantly told him I loved him, tried to show him how much I cared. One night when I texted him twice I love you with no response I said if you don’t want to be with me just say so. His response was “Calm the fuck down and let me work”. While he might have been busy at work an I love You takes 5 seconds.
We broke up for good the next morning. Upon him contacting a lawyer to remove me from the house I wanted to make sure I had documentation of his adulterous behavior. I have a 190 page PDF containing very explicit emails, messages, and graphic pictures that span 4 years. Including an email from a girl from out of town that Michael picked up, took out for drinks then proceeded to hook up with in his car he then took her back to her hotel and I’m sure came home to me. I’m sure he has never been faithful to any of his girlfriends. I had thought he stopped after the first time but in fact this continued throughout our entire relationship. He was on at least 8 different websites soliciting for sex while having no intimate relationship with me.
I wrote Michael an email telling him that I finally knew all about his online life that far exceeded what I previously had thought. I told him I loved him and always would and please give Kodi and Kara (our dogs) lots of love from me.
Since I have received 2 emails and his only concern is getting the ring back. He has no concern for my feelings or the damaging things he has done.
It has only taken Michael 96 hours after our breakup to create a totally new dating profile. On “Plenty Of Fish” he describes himself as Honest, Transparent, Chivalrous, Moral, a Gentleman, and he has Good Values.
My intent is not to bash Michael. It is to let you all know I did everything I possibly could to save this relationship. I was Michael’s number 1 cheerleader and supporter and I would have been for the rest of our lives. I loved him unconditionally through the bad and the good, however he obviously did not feel the same. I feel completely devastated to have been lead on for such a long time and to have been so wholly invested in not only Michael but you as well. While I am canceling numerous wedding plans and contracts Michael has already moved on in 96 hours and is looking for a new woman online.
It has been 2 months and I have not heard from him at all. However Susan did call me a week ago to see how I was doing. Eventually the conversation turned into getting the ring back. I was so fucking mad I told her I sold it and hung up.
After everything that is really all they were concerned about. I was devastated for weeks could eat, couldn’t sleep, just a zombie! And as much as everyone told me I was better off and dodged a bullet I just couldn’t see it. This was the man I loved! While I still love him I finally see it! Thank god I did not marry him. Nothing would have ever changed and it most likely would have ended up in divorce!
Everything truly happens for a reason. I just want you bees to know while planning my wedding your advice was invaluable! I was addicted to bee and you ladies! Hopefully one day I will again join your ranks and be that crazy, stressed out, blissed out bride!