(Closed) The end of my marriage..

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@dannielle89: Wow…. Thats alot to take in but you did what you had to do. Be strong

 

Post # 4
Member
1500 posts
Bumble bee

I think that it’s time for you to move forward and stand on your own two feet. You both made mistakes, and I think the important thing is to just be civil. It sounds like you have your whole life ahead of you, and I think it can be a good thing for you to grow on your own…being with someone since you were 14 means that it was harder to grow up on your own and figure out who you are. I think you need some time and space and even though it’s scary, you’ll get through it. 

It’s definitely a sucky situation, but I think that things can always get better. Who knows what would have been…the important thing is making a future as bright as possible for yourself.

Post # 6
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Because your post is so heartfelt and you must be needing support right now, I am bumping up this thread to tell you this: You are so very young! You have your entire life ahead of you! I believe you have been with him since you were 14? This is why I don’t condone young love. People inevitably grow and change. (Trying not to generalize but 14 is much too young to put your entire heart in someone else’s hands.) Go live. Go be a young adult and live. Enjoy your girlfriends and enjoy, above all else, yourself. Sounds like you need to even figure out who you are. I also would suggest going back for the rest of your things with someone else. I don’t want to say he will have a violent tendency towards you but if he is drunk or drugged up when you show up, you never know what could happen. Don’t beat yourself up too much as we ALL of us have made horrible mistakes in our lives.

Post # 7
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

@jessiesbabe: Totally agree!

Go get a degree!You are still young enough to live on campus and meet tons of new people as well.

Post # 8
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I second getting a degree. Heck, I went back to school when I was 28 so if I can do it, you most definitely can. While most of the students haven’t experienced what you’ve gone through, I think you will find going back to school a comforting, empowering experience to go conquor after your marriage. This is one thing that you can do for YOU alone. Build yourself a future so you can firmly plant your two feet in the ground.

You’re going to make many good friends along the way too. If you are worried about a dissolved support system because of shared husband friends, this is a good way to rebuild a center right around you, and only you.

Post # 9
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I third that you should go get a degree. It’ll help you focus on something else during this difficult time, and it is something that will help you in the long run. Good luck

Post # 10
Member
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

This is so cliche, but you LITERALLY have your whole life ahead of you. Frankly, I’m happy for you! This is going to be an amazing experience. Scary at times, but amazing.

Post # 11
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Dear you were wayyyy too young to make that comittment. Promise that you will learn to be yourself before you learn how to be a partner. Use this time wisely and forget about whatever other man you had this affair with.

Post # 12
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Good Luck to you. Seems like so much to go through at a young age, yet you’ve made it through. Just shows that with time — you can make it through anything.

Post # 13
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2011

So sorry that you are going through all of this! I too, was married very young and had major doubts and issues within the first few DAYS. My then husband turned out to be very unstable. He became verbally abusive and started drinking a lot and doing drugs. So I got divorced when I was 21. Best thing I ever did. I went to university and went on to get a Master’s. I went to Paris and London and studied abroad. I dated a few differnt people and along the way figure out who I was and what I wanted. Then I met the man of my dreams and am getting married to him in two weeks. I’m in my 30’s now and much more sure about everything. Just wanted to tell you, it gets SO MUCH BETTER!

Post # 14
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with everyone here! I know this is incredibly difficult right now, but you have such a bright future ahead of you. I read through all of your posts and honestly think that this is for the best. Learning to love yourself is the most difficult process of all, but the most meaningful one, IMO. Go to school, have fun, make mistakes, and get back up again! And congrats on this next chapter of your life.

Post # 15
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Not to be blunt, but you are 21. It’s hard, but you will love again. While he seems like a catch on paper, you have pointed out enough stuff that clearly shows you aren’t a good match. Don’t dwell over what you wanted the relationship to be, be content that you did all you could do. Focusing on the right things will make the process easier.

Post # 16
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

One of my bff’s went through that two years ago, She had been unfaithful ( never admitted it) and just now they are starting to be friends. She lived “poor” for awhile and now ahe is very much in love and loves her life. no judgement here girl, be strong!!!

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