Post # 1
So I am sure I am not the only one who has gone through this but I needed to vent. Our venue fits 150 MAX. From all the vendors I’ve spoken to they say it feels a bit crowded when it’s over 120. My fiancé and mine’s initial guest list included 1st cousin level family and close friends and was 92 people. Since then we added a few more and were are 116 when I shared our guest list with my parents. Now my parents are very generously helping us financially and contributing about 70% of the budget, 20% from my future in-laws, and 10% from us. So I didn’t say anything when my mother added 40 people to the guest list (her cousins that I’ve met once or twice and my parents friends). I then ordered save the dates and sent the final list to my mom to help me gather addresses. She added 16 more people! Bringing our total to 172 invited. I’m really uncomfortble with this number and kindly explained the situation again and very politely asked my parents to remove a few people from the list. My mother begrudgingly complied but with a snarky comment to “keep in mind who’s paying for your wedding.” I’m incredibly grateful that they are helping us so much but I am so put off by all of this. On top of that I budgeted for 120 guests and my mom keeps complaining about the costs (despite being under budget thus far) but keeps adding more people to the list!
We’ve gotten it down to under 160 invited so I am feeling a lot more comfortable and I know it’ll be fine but I just needed to vent. Can anyone relate?
Post # 3
I can’t relate, but from reading a few posts here on WB it seems like not everyone invited can attend. So, maybe after you start getting your rsvps back, you can invite more people that your mother wanted. Hope that helps a little.
We are paying for the wedding ourselves, and although I would love to invite everyone, we’re only inviting close family/friends. Not people we haven’t seen/talked to in 5+ years, or FI’s second cousins aunty’s sisters’ brother in law… 🙂
Post # 4
You could always tell her that, to accomodate those people, you’d have to move to a more expensive venue. I don’t like the idea of inviting more people than you can fit and hoping for “no”s. The stress that will cause come RSVP time (right when the rest of the ‘down to the wire’ stress will be hitting) is going to be insane.
The guest list seems to be the most stressful part, even more than the budget for us =/
Post # 5
@ohulani: My mom keeps excusing the guest list by saying that a lot of people won’t come.
I know not everyone will but I definitely don’t feel comfortable inviting that many over capacity and having to uninvite people if more people than we expect RSVP.
I mentioned sending save the dates and invites to the out of town guests and sending invitations to my parents in-town friends when we have a better idea of how many out-of-towners are planning on going. She wasn’t too fond of the idea and thinks people will get offended if they don’t get a save the date. Bleh.
But thank you for your comment 🙂
Post # 6
Yah, that would probably add more stress (waiting for “no”s)! Maybe you could mention another venue like the HeathenSwan posted. I have never received a “Save the Date” from any of the weddings I’ve been to. Its not a common thing where I am.