The farting poll

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Do you fart in public?
    Loud and clear! Is that my breakfast I smell? : (6 votes)
    3 %
    I manage to be very soundless and odorless, but yeah : (84 votes)
    43 %
    Yes, but don't approach to me when I go away from the crowd to "think" : (60 votes)
    31 %
    NO WAY! Just in the bathroom, locked doors and some febreze : (34 votes)
    17 %
    Fart? More like glitter! : (12 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    8680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Yes, but don’t approach to me when I go away from the crowd to “think” : (3 votes)

    I guess was the best one for me, but I’ll explain!
     
    I typically don’t like to fart in public, but I mean.. sometimes there just isn’t time to move away! I’ll try to hold it until I’m outside, or heading to the car, or at least away from people [maybe go down an isle in a store I didn’t need anything from just so I wasn’t near anyone!]
     
    At home, it’s not even a thing. If I gotta fart, I gotta fart!
     
    Fi does the silent but deadly’s in public. He also has a “secret phrase”. If he says, “it’s time to go”.. that means he just laid a doozy and we need to high tail it out of wherever we are.
     
    Funny post by the way!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1888 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @AnaA:  ‘My aren’t those amazing paintings you have!  Excuse me while I get a closer look!’

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    8680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @AnaA:  Yeah, I am now. But I used to be super uncomfortable with it.

    Trying to pretend I never farted was all fine and dandy.. until we moved into together and I got sick.

    When I’m sick I’m a hot freaking mess. NOTHING works properly.

    Well, he was bringing me soup and I sneezed… and farted – at the same time!

    The jig was up, luckily he doesn’t give me too much crap for it! [pun intended].

    Post # 8
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @AnaA:  I try and walk away from people but if it slips out it is usually silent and ordorless! DH and I try to fart away from each other and warn the other if we farted in a room, our guest bathroom is actually the designated fart/poop room! We keep the master bath smelling like flowery delight 🙂 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1888 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @AnaA:  One of the first nights I stayed over at my FIs we ended up having a who could best describe the qualities of that fart contest.  Yes we had regressed to the level of middle schoolers, but that’s when you know you really are yourself around someone!

    Post # 12
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @AnaA:  bwhahaha! It is a pretty sweet arrangement but you don’t want to be a guest in our home after DH has birthed his babies lol 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1410 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @AnaA:  Unfortunately, my farts are very loud. DH’s not so much…he says I have “compressed air” since I’m short. 

    So while I don’t fart in public, DH does it all the time. Last night at the store as he’s crouched down to look at something, his cheeks were spread enough that it caused quite a sound. He rose up and said “Damn shoes!” I walked away to keep from busting a gut. He then said “Do you think anyone heard that?” Yes, babe they did!

    He also likes to “crop dust” the entire aisle of a store….only if people aren’t there of course! He’ll usually grab me if I turn around to go back to look at something and say “YOU do NOT want to go that way!” 

    Post # 14
    Hostess
    8680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Lol! All of these stories are cracking me up.

    So glad I’m not the only one who has a fiance who “crop dusts”.

    Post # 15
    Member
    61 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I have morning thunder, as it were. The rest of the day is more dainty and feminine. My husband can’t talk, either. Becoming a nurse has made me a lot more comfortable with bodies and their functions, so I just can’t blink at this stuff anymore. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    729 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    To those 28% of you who manage to be both soundless AND odorless when farting in public, please share your ninja farting secrets! Soundless I can understand, but odorless? How does one pull THAT off?

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