The friend that only wants to talk about herself.

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

yes, bring it up. Figure out a nice, non-confrontational way to explain to her how you feel.

Post # 4
Member
336 posts
Helper bee

You’re not over reacting. I posted almost the exact same post a few weeks ago. Relationships like that are exhausting and so so frustrating. In my case, telling those people in my life about the way they were acting was useless because they are so damn self centered. I ended up cutting ties with them because I couldn’t handle it anymore. However, if you think talking to her will make her see and change her ways, then you should totally do it. If you tell her and she DOESN’t change, then it might be time to cut her loose if you don’t think you can go on in that type of relationship. Though losing friends suck, I have to say, I’m so much happier after I said goodbye to the ones that only ever thought/talked about themselves. Good luck!

 

Post # 5
Member
3077 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@maloussii:  +1

Been there, done that and it’s been a whole lot easier just cutting ties. Self centered people don’t change 90% of the time. But yea, if you think it might help to bring it up, it doesn’t hurt.

Post # 6
Member
573 posts
Busy bee

I had something similar.  I had a long distance friend who woud pounce on my everytime I logged into Skype, Facebook etc, to talk at me.  When I was unemployed it became impossible for me to make plans for the summer to visit her (another country) and when I explained that I couldn’t afford it, she got the hump with me and said that I was “cancelling” our friendship… she ended up ignoring me and I forgot about her.  Only after this did I realise how one sided the friendship was.

Try to bring it up; but if she persists it may be worth considering if the relationship is worth it.

Post # 7
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’ve had two friends like this, and I brought it up both times. In the one case, it actually worked and our friendship is on the mends.
In the other case, she went “Well, I think YOU always talk about YOU”. I pulled up our conversation logs for the past few weeks (because I’m a spiteful b*tch), and then cut all ties to her.

If you think the friendship is worth salvaging, give it a go.

Post # 8
Member
306 posts
Helper bee

This is so common. I went through something similar, even to the moving away part. I brought it up to the friend and she apologized and said it was something she needed to work on. But she never did, and I felt worse and worse until I broke off all contact with her. I hope you and your friend are able to work things out.

Post # 9
Hostess
2920 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

this is very annoying. I also know someone like this. Sometimes I freak out and think…a, I being one of those people??  So then I make the effort to go out of my way and ask about something going on in  their life. She’s probably just wrapped up in her head and doesn’t even realize. You could say something like, hey you never asked me about _____? Or hey, aren’t you going to ask me about my dream job??

Post # 10
Member
4218 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It’s possible she’s the socially anxious type and just doesn’t know what to say, or is unable to give advice. If you just want her to listen, she may not understand that and be under the impression you want her to “fix it”. I think you should just talk to her about it. I recommend using “I” phrases, like, “I feel I can’t talk to you”.. as opposed to “you always talk about yourself!”.. I just find people respond better. 

Post # 12
Member
1840 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Been there, done that. 

 

Cut and run.

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