Post # 1
I’ve been friends with this girl for about 6 years now. We always had a blast together and I consider her one of my close friends. We both moved away a couple years ago and live 8 hours from one another, so most of our communication is done through texts and social media.
She comes to me with all of her issues in life whether it be guy problems (which is often), roommate probs, school/jobs, etc. I’m kind of the person she can vent to, which I’m more than happy to do. That’s what friends are for.
But if I bring up anything about my relationship or getting engaged, I get a one word response and that’s it. Or if I want to vent about my mom ..nothing. And yesterday, I sent her a text about getting the job of my dreams, she never responded.
I understand people get busy, but I feel like she has no interest in my life and that our friendship is very one sided. Should I bring this up? Am I overreacting?
Post # 3
yes, bring it up. Figure out a nice, non-confrontational way to explain to her how you feel.
Post # 4
You’re not over reacting. I posted almost the exact same post a few weeks ago. Relationships like that are exhausting and so so frustrating. In my case, telling those people in my life about the way they were acting was useless because they are so damn self centered. I ended up cutting ties with them because I couldn’t handle it anymore. However, if you think talking to her will make her see and change her ways, then you should totally do it. If you tell her and she DOESN’t change, then it might be time to cut her loose if you don’t think you can go on in that type of relationship. Though losing friends suck, I have to say, I’m so much happier after I said goodbye to the ones that only ever thought/talked about themselves. Good luck!
Post # 5
Been there, done that and it’s been a whole lot easier just cutting ties. Self centered people don’t change 90% of the time. But yea, if you think it might help to bring it up, it doesn’t hurt.
Post # 6
I had something similar. I had a long distance friend who woud pounce on my everytime I logged into Skype, Facebook etc, to talk at me. When I was unemployed it became impossible for me to make plans for the summer to visit her (another country) and when I explained that I couldn’t afford it, she got the hump with me and said that I was “cancelling” our friendship… she ended up ignoring me and I forgot about her. Only after this did I realise how one sided the friendship was.
Try to bring it up; but if she persists it may be worth considering if the relationship is worth it.
Post # 7
I’ve had two friends like this, and I brought it up both times. In the one case, it actually worked and our friendship is on the mends.
In the other case, she went “Well, I think YOU always talk about YOU”. I pulled up our conversation logs for the past few weeks (because I’m a spiteful b*tch), and then cut all ties to her.
If you think the friendship is worth salvaging, give it a go.
Post # 8
This is so common. I went through something similar, even to the moving away part. I brought it up to the friend and she apologized and said it was something she needed to work on. But she never did, and I felt worse and worse until I broke off all contact with her. I hope you and your friend are able to work things out.
Post # 9
this is very annoying. I also know someone like this. Sometimes I freak out and think…a, I being one of those people?? So then I make the effort to go out of my way and ask about something going on in their life. She’s probably just wrapped up in her head and doesn’t even realize. You could say something like, hey you never asked me about _____? Or hey, aren’t you going to ask me about my dream job??
Post # 10
It’s possible she’s the socially anxious type and just doesn’t know what to say, or is unable to give advice. If you just want her to listen, she may not understand that and be under the impression you want her to “fix it”. I think you should just talk to her about it. I recommend using “I” phrases, like, “I feel I can’t talk to you”.. as opposed to “you always talk about yourself!”.. I just find people respond better.
Post # 11
Thanks all. I may bring it up the next time she texts me to vent about something, which most likely will be soon since she just starting dating a new guy …
I don’t want to lose her friendship. When it comes down to it, she’s a good person. BUT. If she has no interest in my life whatsoever, what’s the point?