(Closed) The frustration of planning a rehearsal dinner – FI says NO to all my ideas

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

What’s your FI’s problems with the places you chose?  I put my FI in charge of the rehearsal dinner because he didn’t like my ideas.  He’s actually gotten into it right now.  I just told him if he had such strong opinions then this could be something he was in charge of.  Not sure if your FI is that kind of guy or not, but that’s an idea.

Post # 4
Member
1932 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

What is your fiances qualms with the dinner, is the price or location?

Post # 6
Member
1932 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

his family didn’t offer to pay  for the rehearsal dinner?

Post # 8
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We are doing a back yard bbq at our place after but were buying steaks and ribs for the grill, it seemed better than burgers

Post # 9
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Is he normally good about working in a budget? It would suck if you assigned him this but then had to hover over him, checking up because he’s blowing all your money on a huge banquet.

Post # 10
Member
1932 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

yeah I would definitely discourage putting any of your wedding expenses on credit hon. Debt is bad enough as it is and even though your wedding is a one-time thing, sometimes it’s hard to justify spending so much on one event.

I say try to find a cheaper alternative.

Do you have a community center near you? We considered that for awhile, their rates were only about $20/hour for use, and there are many inexpensive caterers you can have to come in and do the whole event, or even restaurants to cater. 

Post # 12
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Rehearsal dinner has been the hardest part of planning for us! FI’s family isn’t helping at all and my family has tons of conflicting ideas/strong opinions. Everyone says we can’t exclude out-of-town guests (about 50, in our case) but that’s too many for our house and we can’t afford to take a group that size out to dinner. I think we’re going to rent a small social hall at a local community center (were going to rent a park pavillion, but those cost a surprising amount — 3x as much as social hall). We’re going to cook a couple of dishes, have a couple catered, and have my mom and aunt contribute homemadeappetizers, salads and dessert. It’s still a big headache (FI keeps asking, “why can’t we just do nothing?!”) but hopefully it’ll shape up to a nice evening at not a giant expense. Good luck with whatever you choose!!

Post # 13
Member
246 posts
Helper bee

I vote for a restaurant as I definitely think that’s the easiest.  We were seriously considering doing a backyard barbque at my MOH’s place but then decided against it.  Right before your wedding, you really don’t need to have yourself or other members of your bridal party focused on pulling off another event!

We looked into chain restaurants (you mentioned that in your post) but didn’t find any that were willing to reserve a room for us on a Friday night.  We ended up going with a locally owned bar & grill seafood type place and it worked out well.  They are used to handling large groups and have a group menu…. i.e. we picked out three or four entrees people could choose from, everyone got rolls, salad and the dessert that we picked and a soft drink/iced tea of their choice.  If a remember right, the most expensive entree that we chose was under $30/person. 

The way we handled the alchohol situation was we picked a package where soft drinks were included.  There was a cash bar available.  People who wanted to drink could have as much as they wanted – on their dime.  No one complained and everyone had a great time!

I’m so glad I went with a restaurant because the day before the wedding was so busy for me!  It was awesome to deal with wedding details and not even give a thought to the rehearsal.  I walked in the door and had a great time with friends and family.  When it was over, I walked out and didn’t have to think about clean up or anything like that.

Just my experience.  Hope you find a solution that works well for you!

Post # 14
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ugghh yeah planning the RH dinner is a pain.  My aunt really wanted to help with the wedding and since it’s OOT for us and in town for her we gave her the task of finding the food for the RH dinner.  We’ll pay for everything, we have 30$ pp budgeted for 50 people.  We have paid for the venue as part of our wedding package and we have also budgeted for the beer and wine package that is required through the venue at about 25$pp.

So in my opinion 30$ pp should leave lots of options open, even chain restaurant burritos 8.50$pp and chips and salsa.  My aunts idea…cancel the rehearsal dinner!  LOL…not helpful :/

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