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I need serious dress help.

The Good, The Bad, The Dreaded 'T' word...

posted 3 years ago in Reception
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    1.
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    Blushing bee
    Rose999    April 11, 2011  

    So here's my situation...I am just beginning to get my feet wet and look into ideas for my wedding. I've got just over a year and a half so I'm not making a lot of firm plans yet, just general thoughts on location, decor, etc.

    Already butting heads with my opinionated mom on certain things. Now, I'm not stressed about this, my mom and I are both rather opinionated women and I pretty much anticipated this. She has been to a ton of weddings, though, and I've only been to a handful. So I think, well, she might know what she's talking about. On the other hand, my mom wants nothing but the most cookie cutter of cookie cutter weddings. In short, I'm not sure whose opinion to trust here!

    So a few ideas I have thrown out that my mom has labeled too different, strange, or plain old weird for an elegant ballroom style wedding. Any feedback would be much appreciated! Please be brutally honest and let me know, I'm not posting just to get support for all these ideas, because really, what do I know about weddings? If you think they won't work, tell me, I can take it, ha ha! 

    Also, bearing in mind that the wedding would be in a fairly conservative small town and would be considered 'formal'.

    - A candy bar. I live in the city and these are about as standard as the wedding cake here, but she is in a smaller town and thinks it would be odd at a formal affair.

    - Non-traditional centerpieces - looking at a winter wedding so I want to do white lights in a vase with a battery pack at the bottom, or tall silver branches hung with crystal snowflakes. 

    - Little books as favors, those tiny ones they sell for fun at book stores. My hope is that if I got cute wedding related topics they would help stimulate table conversation.

    - Christmas tree or branches draped with lights in the corners of the room, with shimmery fabric to make fake 'snow'

    - Hot cocoa bar 

     - An ice luge for drinks. Honestly I don't know if I can afford one but I think it would be so cool for a winter wedding, for guests to watch their martini slide down a snowflake luge!

    - A chocolate covered 'forest'...I like the idea of a chocolate fountain but there will be a lot of kids and I think they would make a huge mess. I thought it would be cute to do chocolate covered marshmallows and strawberries on kabobs and stand them up to make a little display.

     Ok so... thoughts please? 

     
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    MrsK2be    November 15, 2008   Ohio

    I like ALL of those ideas!  But maybe all of them would be overwhelming - for instance, I think either a candy bar or a hot cocoa bar, but you don't need both.  If you want to give out hot cocoa, you could always put those hot cocoa cones out on the candy table more as a favor....

    LOVE the centerpiece idea -and the tree idea.  I'm not sure what you mean about the little books, but they sound cute. :)

    Remember to make this YOUR wedding - believe me you don't want to have regrets AFTER the wedding.  

     
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    MsHymanRoth    October 24, 2009   Boston

    I would NOT do an xmas tree!!! Plus, there will probably be one in the lobby, right? I decided against a chocolate fountain, it's soooo 5 years ago. I love classy candy cars, I'm having one but I want it to be really elaborate and over the top ... I'll include a picture that I like of one I saw online. I really like a hot cocoa station!!! Include coffee drinks too.

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    emileee       San Jose, CA

    - I've seen candy bars at formal affairs and they're great!  I think they look very elegant in glass jars, especially when they are color coordinated.

    - Tall silver branches with crystal snowflakes sound very elegant to me.  I'm not sure I understand the battery pack centerpiece idea?  I'm not good at visualizing though.

    - The thing with favors is that no matter how unique or personal people try to be with them, 99% of them are absolutely useless and get thrown away if they are not edible.  What would people actually do with these little wedding-related books once they get home?  I don't think it's a matter of it being not formal, just that it's probably not a favor that will get much/any utilization.

    - I would probably stay away from a Christmas tree - somehow, that feels more like a holiday party to me than a wedding.  Unless that's the festive feeling you're going for, but otherwise, sorry I agree with your mom on this one. The Good, The Bad, The Dreaded 'T' word... :  wedding Icon Redface

    - A hot cocoa bar sounds absolutely awesome - I've never seen one in person though so I don't know how the logistics work.  Does it get messy?  Do people serve themselves?

    - I've never seen an ice luge so I can't comment...but your description makes it sound really cool.  

    - I'm sure there are ways to make the chocolate covered forest look more elegant than what your mom might be picturing in her head.  Maybe she's just picturing a chocolatey mess on sticks?

    Overall, I think your ideas are very creative!  Why don't you try looking for pictures online and in magazines or creating mini mock ups of some of the ideas you're serious about to illustrate to your mom that these ideas can be very elegant?

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    Busy bee
    sunbeam      

    - A candy bar sounds great, and you can keep it formal looking with the right setup.

    - I like the silver branch idea, the other sounded really plain but maybe I'm not picturing it right

    - Could be cute if they fit in with the formal look, again i'm not sure what the books look like but just picture them in your setup to see if it fits in.

    - Not a fan of the Christmas tree idea, unless you are going for a christmas theme.  If it's just a winter theme I'd go with other decorations.

    - Hot cocoa bar sounds fun and again the setup can make it appear more sophisticated depending how formal you want to go.  

     - An ice luge for drinks - sounds great.  Seems like the really fancy weddings use ice for something!

    - Again I think this could be cute, just find the right display and you can make any of these ideas fit your formal feel The Good, The Bad, The Dreaded 'T' word... :  wedding Icon Biggrin

     
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    Bumble bee
    JennyBryde    September 18, 2010   Moline, IL

    I love your ideas. Since you didn't fall far from the tree, I'd stick to your guns with your mom.  Maybe you could prioritize your list so that you can concede on certain items when she wants  you to change something...

    The hot cocoa bar sounds divine!

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    MsHymanRoth    October 24, 2009   Boston

    More about hot cocoa bar, I read somewhere, cannot remember where, about something to do w/ hot chocolate served at a wedding! They did a big homemade marshmallow in a the cup, provided different fancy liquors, fresh whipped cream - like mint flavor & regular, sprinkles - like chopped up toffee/chocolate/peppermint etc.. Also, it would be so nice to include lattes and cappuccinos. You could even serve little biscottis and maybe a chocolate dipped spoon? Hmm. I might do this too!

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    oyster    July 2010   Dallas

    I've seen formal weddings with several of these things incorporated, don't worry! Our moms/family members/fiancés are not inundated with modern wedding-industry trends like we are, so maybe it's just that they haven't seen these ideas implemented yet. Some of them I might not combine, like having a candy bar *and* a marshmallow bar... but they are good ideas and it's great to see so many trends focused on offering something creative for guests.

    Also, you're in the early stage of planning, so many of these ideas you have now will change shape or be dropped entirely as the vision for your wedding evolves. So, plan away! The early stage of planning is the fun part. So many things to choose from!

     
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    Blushing bee
    Rose999    April 11, 2011  

    Oh wow, thanks so much for the fast responses! This message board could get addictive!!

    Since a couple of people asked about the light centerpiece...I was thinking a big cluster of white Christmas lights lit up in a bowl (the battery pack would be hidden, but you have to have one to power the lights.)

    And the books...this is what I was picturing...those little mini-kits you always end up staring at when you're in line at Barnes and Noble (you can get them much cheaper than listed here though.) This is one that could definitely lean toward the quirker side of my ideas... I do think it would kick butt as a conversation starter, though.

    http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b_1_8?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=mini+kits+running+press&sprefix=mini+kit 

    The pics are so gorgeous! I think I must do a candy and/or a hot cocoa bar now. They sounded pretty normal in my mind but when I heard her reaction I just wanted to make sure I wasn't way off base or something.  

     

     

     
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    ErinMarguerite    July 2009   DC Area

    I love the idea of a cocoa bar, but agree with MrsK2be--I'd go either cocoa or candy, but not both.  If you go candy, DEFINITELY add the chocolate forest!  I'm not sure where you'd put it if you ix the candy bar.  The centerpieces sound incredible.  

    I could go either way on the christmas tree branches--they're not my style, but a lot of things aren't, and that doesn't make them good or bad.  Someone else brought up checking out what other holiday decorations will be nearby--if your guests walk past a dozen Christmas trees on the way in, I think it might seem like beating a dead horse... 

    My gut is that an ice luge and weddings don't make a particularly good mix.  I could be wrong, but in my family, it would cause more trouble (my grandmother would probably make a scene and try to storm out) than it's worth. 

    The mini books are different than the standard favors, which is kind of nice, but they're also pricey!  I'd want to spend my budget elsewhere. 

     
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    Honey bee
    Gerbera    August 7, 2010   NY

    I really like a lot of your ideas as well. I think the great part is it is your wedding do what you want. Who wants to go to the same wedding over and over again.

    Although I do think ALL of that can get quite expensive!!!

     
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    cj2009    Sept 2009   Bay Area, Cali

    i say do the hot cocoa bar during cocktail hour.  it'd be cheaper than actually serving alcohol (unless you wanna spike it with some baileys or kahlua for the adults) and you get to do it!

     
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    Sugar bee
    KateMW    8.30.03   Birmingham

    I think a cocoa bar during the cocktail hour would be way too heavy. It's more like a dessert to me. What about a cookie and hot cocoa bar. Yummy! Warm cookies and hot chocolate? Yes, please! 

     
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    Buzzing bee
    monitajb    July 17, 2010   Sacramento

    I pretty much agree with everyone else, except on the trees and the ice luge. I assume from your other suggestions that you are thinking something simple and elegant: white lights, minimal decoration. Those would look quite nice.

    The ice luge... if it is something pretty that the bartender uses, that is one thing. But I keep thinking more like a shot luge, which I have seen and think will not fit your mood. Maybe I'm totally wrong about this, but I would just rather have my drink handed to me. The luge just sounds a little too sorority party.

     
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    aloweha      

    I'm assuming your wedding is in the winter. Sounds like maybe you have a "winter wonderland" kind of feel going on? Try and think about how each of the things you want fits in. There are so many things I want to pull into my wedding but I have to keep checking myself and saying - Will a wheatgrass centerpiece go at my Vintage Hawaiian wedding? Probably not. Another thing to think about is maybe you might not want too many different features because they might start to distract from each other.

    I love a lot of your ideas - hot cocoa? yes, please! And all of them could be done to fit with the 'elegant ballroom' venue. You could probably combine the chocolate forest with the candy buffet. (Just a thought to dust the chocolate 'trees' with powdered sugar as snow?)

    RE: The Christmas tree - I went to wedding once that was just after Christmas (early Jan) and they had a Christmas tree (I think it was just the venues, not their decoration) but it was absolutely stunning. I'm biased because I do love Christmas (like, obsessively) but many people there commented that the tree was beautiful. You can decorate it elegantly (or however to match your colors/feel).

    Good luck! Whatever you end up doing will be amazing because YOU love it!

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    Rose999    April 11, 2011  

    Ha ha, yes, the luge is something the bartender uses! Although I did laugh my behind off at the thought of people in formal gowns at the reception, bending down to do a shot out of a luge...good old Uncle Ernie in the background shaking his fist and chanting 'chug...chug...chug!" It's pretty much an ice sculpture and the bartender puts your drink in the top...it slides down and is supposed to be chilled when it comes out, although I think it's more for show than anything. Here's a picture of a big fancy one:

          The Good, The Bad, The Dreaded 'T' word... :  wedding Basic Ice Luge

    I like the idea of combining some ideas...I think it would be good to have a couple of unique features that 'pop' and not a different thing going on in each corner! 

     
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    Blushing bee
    Rose999    April 11, 2011  

    PS...glad to hear the Christmas tree worked in the venue you went to aloweha! I am still debating that one...I thought if I did it all in white and silver it might look more 'winter wonderland' with just a hint of holiday feel...

     
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    aloweha      

    The tree was gorgeous, it was in front of this big picture window. I'll upload a pic if I can find one. Also, think of it more a "winter tree" than a "Christmas tree". Pick basic, elegant ornaments as opposed to nutcrackers and reindeer flying around and you should be sweet! Like glass icicles, snowflakes, white lights... I'm kind of obsessed with your wedding now! :)

     
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    aloweha      

    I have to laugh at myself- I just opened the picture and the first thing I see is reindeer flying around the tree! This was a tiny town in country PA wedding though, so the feel was more rustic than elegant. Still beautiful though, just picture it in your colors! :)

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    SaraBMarried    July 2nd 2009   Boston(Stoughton)MA

    Well. . i'm late on this. . as usual. .lol but a few thoughts.

    I liked the idea of the branches with lights instead of the Christmas tree. .. .if got two or three Evergreen boughs and wrapped them in white lights thatwould be beautiful

    Also maybe instead of having the candy bar and cocoa bar as seperate entities. . maybe combine the two . . as in have a variety of fun things to put in your cocoa like shaped marshmellows,candy canes etc.

    I LOVE the rest of your ideas and i dont think they would looked "misplaced" in a formal wedding

    good luck!

     
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    Honey bee
    mrspaetz    July 4 2009   Singapore / California

    lots of wonderful ideas & affirmation above.

    i think your mom may not be able to visualize some of these ideas, and thus dismiss them as inappropriate.
    perhaps, if you haven't already done so, you could put together an inspiration board so that she can share your vision and gradually buy into the ideas.

    good luck! 

     

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