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I'm looking for more opinions on the great debate of a sit down vs. buffet (stations) dinner.
I am having a very formal, upscale wedding. It would probably be more fitting to have a served, seated dinner. But, personally, I always prefer a buffet/stations wedding.
My wedding coordinator is trying to talk me into the seated dinner (because he says it's classier). But the buffet I am planning is a big a*s buffet! Ultimately it's nearly twice as expensive as the seated dinner because I have added almost everything they offer. But yet, he's still grumbling about it being a buffet.
You don't have to say "you're the bride--do what you want", because I most definitely will! Just wondering what YOU think of the two and why you prefer one over the other.
Do you think that even a huge, beautiful, mother-of-all buffets is still inappropriate for an upscale wedding?
Hmmm....I always liked the plated dinners. As far as looking classy, I think they both could work. It's not like you can only get the fancy china and chargers for only sit down dinners.
All of the buffets I have gone too, I was always either in the middle or to the last of the tables to get up. Not that waiting an extra 20 minutes or so is that long, but I get hungry!!!!
But also, I like how I can choose whatever I want to eat. Seems like with the plated dinners, there is always something I move to the side.
It's a toss up. I don't even know which route I'm going to go yet.
I prefer buffet also. It can still be done in a classy way..its not like the food is going to be all piled up in a messy mass. It sounds like the food is going to be high end so I don't see a problem...
I don't think it's inappropriate at all. Could be fun and different. BUT, I hate the whole waiting in line forever thing at buffets...and sometimes people take too much food and sometimes the caterers take it away too fast.
Although, I'm doing a buffet :) It's cheaper, more fun, and I liked the food choices.
If you love buffet more, do it! I always appreciate choosing what/how much of something I want. We are doing a buffet.
We're doing buffet, give people a choice that won't cost way to much! lol
We are having an upscale wedding and we are also doing a buffet. I don't see anything wrong with it. The only thing we are doing different with the buffet is to have someone serve my grandma. She will be 98 or 99, so we don't want her to hold up the line, and we have to have her there because we all love her.
We are having passed h'orderves(sp) though.
I think that buffets are fine at upscale weddings if they are done well. All teh weddings I have ever been to have had buffets, but they were generally underwhelming. I hated waiting in the line. It seems to make a mess no matter what. Food starts to get that "re-heated" taste after a little while. That being said, no one in my family has ever had an "upscale" wedding. We're talking low-to-mid range banquet halls here.
If the food is good and the people can move fast enough through the line, then I see no problem.
Yeah, I forgot to mention that I do prefer the vibe of a served dinner. I do agree with him that it's classier. :( But to me, the options of the buffet make it more appealing to guests.
And the issue of waiting in line...ugh. I don't how to fix that one properly. There will have been a huge cocktail hour with a ton of food too so hopefully people won't be starving.
I hate the getting-up-to-get-my-own-food aspect of the buffet. Seated dinners are so nice because someone brings all your food to you! :) Also, most of the buffets I've gone to have definitely been bland, congealed foods, and they just look unappetizing. They're also usually really standard choices--a pasta with some sort of tomato or cream sauce, a chicken in some sort of creamy sauce, and a carving station, with a few gravy choices. And the veggies are usually always either steamed and bland or drenched in some sort of sauce. So I haven't had such good buffet experiences :(
The only exception was my FI's holiday party last year and this past year. Both years, they were held at really high end restaurants or hotels, and the stations were really cool/yummy--they had make your own pad thai, and hand rolled sushi stations, and shortribs...really yummy foods. It sounds like yours will be more along these lines, in which case I say go for it! It made for a fun party, and people were mingling as they stood in line, which was nice.
First, I'd love to see the menus for each, because, well, I like looking at menus
I think a lot of what "works" depends on the reception itself. I've been to museum receptions, where stations made a lot more sense and were very, very elegant--it was great that folks could move around and look at things, and the way the stations were set up improved the flow.
On the other hand, sometimes buffets are just difficult in terms of people having to wait in line for too long, not enough space for waiting, difficulty coordinating with other guests in their "party" (if they go to different lines); and a sit-down dinner would have been far more preferable. I went to a wedding with a multiple-course sit-down dinner, and it was absolutely perfect; if you're having multiple courses, I'd definitely go with sit-down.
So, I guess it depends. What's the tone of your reception? What is the space like? Will guests run into traffic/waiting issues?
I don't like the lines that come with a buffet, but if organized really well, I really like a buffet. You have more options, and as a general rule, wedding food rarely has enough vegetables. A buffet will usually mean I can get more veggies.
On the other hand, if you are going for a fancy-shmancy feel, I think a sit-down dinner with excellent table service (as in spring for more waiters) is the most elegant. If food arrives quickly, is presented well, the staff is attentive, a seated dinner is the most elegant option, IMO. As much as I love a buffet, I think you would get more bang for your buck with a multi-course seated dinner that had, like, one waitstaff per every 2 tables, than you would with a buffet.
We're having an evening wedding with chef-attended action stations because we want a free flowing, up-and-around atmosphere where people eat, dance, and mingle as they see fit. To me, it makes for a more fun party when people aren't stuck at a table for ~2 hours. And we are serving very high end food.
As for that being more or less formal, I don't know. But you can certainly have food stations (or a buffet) at an upscale, classy event.
I have been to weddings that have done both. I like the sit down meal, but I think because I am open to eating whatever is put down in front of me. I think that buffet dinners work much better for people who like options and maybe are a little pickier. Plus, you can eat so much more food! I also think buffets can be classy, sit downs are just more traditional.
If you want a big arse buffet, then go for it!
I think sit down is definitely more formal but I would enjoy a buffet style better because it allows people to choose the foods they like. Unless you have a plated dinner with several options.
The only thing I'd say is have it pretty organized since you can't have everyone going to the buffet at once - so people don't have to wait too long.
You can always cut the waiting time by opening both sides of the buffet...Usually when guests are only serving themselves on one side it takes a bit too long. opening both should reduce that a little...how many guests are you having?
how many people are you inviting? I think that makes a huge difference. Its a lot easier for 100 people to make it through a buffet than 300 obviously :)
I am doing stations/buffet because I always hate wedding food. I'm a really picky eater, I don't like "fancy" food, and I feel like every wedding I've been to with a plated dinner I've walked away hungry. I have the same concerns as you about it taking a while (we'll have about 110 I think) or about it being a different "vibe"... but honestly once I decided I haven't looked back.
Plus, once I told my cousins about the food they got REALLY excited and told me about 10 times how much they can't wait for my wedding that is a whole 10 mo away-- hell yea!
For the record... we're doing an asian station and a mexican station.
I, personally, prefer buffets. I don't like seated dinners at all, no matter how formal. I just feel bored, like all I'm doing is sitting there....waiting. And then if they mess up your food, you have to sit there while everyone else around you is eating. Not fun!
I think it depends on what the choices are for the plated dinner. They are not all created equal. I've also found at upscale weddings,that the portions can be somewhat small and the service is sometimes dragged out. My husband has left some weddings hungry and grumbling that there should have been more food. In that respect, buffets are a good solution for people being able to eat more than once. Do they,tho? In my family they do!
Another thing I don't like is being called by table and standing in line for a buffet. I wish there was a better way to serve it, but I've never seen one. I also find it awkward trying to fit what I want (I like a little of everything) and balancing things,without making a few trips back.
I have to say, as a guest, I prefer being served. We've been to some fabulous weddings where everything was served beautifully and food was cooked to perfection. (With each table having its own waitstaff really being the key to the outstanding service). From the cocktail hour with chef stations to the magnificent dinner,to the dessert room full of flambe's and every sweet detail you can imagine, my cousin's wedding made her guests feel pampered and was honestly the best.
If you really want to do a buffet, I'm sure you can make it work.
Where I am from, no one does seated dinners. no matter how formal! Stations/buffets are SO much more fun!
A big a** buffet would sound good to me! I don't think it has to be any less classier than a sit down. Plus you are offering much more to your guests and they can go back for seconds!
I like doing buffet stations. I think they are fun and interactive and it gets people up and moving. Not a big fan of plated dinners but thats mostly because I have never had a good one.
I really want to do stations over the seated dinner. Like Miss Hunky, I get bored just sitting there, waiting for my meal to be served. Also, I just want to point out that stations can be a bit different than buffets. If you set up the stations apart from one another in a sense (I'm not sure how your venue is set up), people won't be as caught up in lines. My cousin's wedding had over 250 people, and she did food stations located throughout the receoption area and I didn't have to wait in line at all.
To be honest, the thing I hate hate hate about buffets is that, especially as a young person, I always end up getting to eat so freaking late. It's like first families and then old people and relatives get to eat, and then at the end, it's the young people who are polite enough to wait. And because I'm polite, I don't push my way in, and so I inevitably end up at the end. And then the best stuff is gone (and even if you order extra, people come back for seconds and people like me will only get one portion instead of two), and some stuff is cold, even if they're refilling things, and ... it just feels unfair at times.
I think that's what bugs me the most. I definitely like the variety though. What if your plated dinner had more options? Or family style sides on the tables with choice of entree?
I prefer seated dinners-no questions asked. I hate standing in line, waiting for my table to be called to go eat like in middle schoole, and carrying my plate around while wearing a cute betsey johnson. it just wrong! lol!
Can yo do your cocktail hour with the stations, and then a seated dinner?
I prefer sit-down dinners, hands-down. You can 'nice up' a buffet all you want but as far as elegance goes it's never going to come close to being served a nicely plated several-course meal by servers in black and white attire. Aside from the pretty much inevitable waiting in line that comes with a buffet, it can be really unhygenic, with everybody who hasn't washed their hands all day touching the same ladles and scooping up food with their hands, sampling things from the serving dishes (there's always a few even in the most couth crowd!), and plus when you're serving yourself it's all too likely that you'll splatter/spill on your fancy clothes. And who hasn't been in the back of the buffet line only to find that all that's left in the roasted potatoes dish is the sad slivers of roasted peppers because Uncle Bob, Cousin Amanda, and Cousin George all like to scoop out inordinate amounts of the 'good stuff' in the dish, or take a disproportionate amount of one option, leaving very little for the rest of the line...which is endlessly frustrating?! I just hate buffets, if you can't tell.
We're going to give our guests options for each course of or plated dinner, so they have more variety and are sure to have things they like. Could you maybe do that?
I wanted to do a sit down dinner, but cannot due to the size of kitchen at our venue. I too, think it is classier and its nice that everyone gets their dinner all at the same time.
So we're doing a buffet and I've come to like it as we're going to have all of food that both my FI and I love. We can cater to people with a range of dietary needs (I have a strict vegetarian friend who don't eat fish/seafood due to allergies) and so its much more enjoyable for such people to go up and just choose what they eat.
I'm not really sure what to do with the whole lines thing too, but I guess its also kind of nice to have people stand up and sort of mingle while waiting in line rather than just sticking to talking to the people they're seated next to!
Anyhow, back to the original question, yes, I do think buffets can be done in a classy way. Simple things, like the presentation of the food, the little cards that tell you what the food is, making sure the waiters wipe up any spillage (when people transfer the food onto their plate). Sailor above, mentioned chef-attended stations- that totally brings up the class level! I now wonder if our venue will do that....
How many different things do you plan on serving... since you said it's going to be a ginormous dinner? Geeze, can I be invited to your wedding? LOL j/k. The whole idea of having a ridiculous amount of food sounds great. :)
Buffets are nice b/c people can eat as little or as much as they want. At my wedding we are doing a buffet. FI and I both want it this way from the very beginning.
I don't believe that it's neccessarily classier to do a sit-down as opposed to be buffet. What people are really going to remember are the people who are there and if they had a good time. Rarely do they remember food at weddings. All you can remember is whether or not the food was bad or good, regardless of the way it was served. Last year alone I went to 7 weddings (very beautiful and "fancy") and can't recollect what I ate at any of them.
Some people are mentioning that they hate buffets b/c they feel like cattle waiting in line to eat. At my reception I'm having 2 or 3 buffet stations so people really wouldn't be waiting any longer than getting a sit-down dinner. If you are having multiple serving stations it shouldn't be a big deal as far as time goes.
@Vegan, hahahah you made me laugh.
Everyone makes great points both for and against the two options. We are having about 150 people. And I just have no idea what to do! Hmm..
I'm not sure what your budget is like, but you can have servers (from the catering company) at your stations to ensure cleanliness, fresh hot food, etc. That's what we are hoping to do. Go stations! Haha :)
I definitely prefer sit down dinners. It's really just because I've always had bad experiences with buffets at weddings - the wait is forever, and by the time I get to the food it is cold or what I want is gone. And then, with the line and everything, but the time the people at the back of the line get food, the people at the front are done eating!
I've just never been to a wedding where the buffet was done really well, I guess, so I much prefer plated dinners!
Why don't you try French or Russian service? Basically it's a buffet but servers bring the food to you and then serve you at the table. I don't think it's common here in the U.S. but we did it alot when I was overseas. That way you get the sit down aspect of it, and then also the lots of food choice part. The only con is that if your servers aren't trained in doing table side service it can go badly.
I love the idea of a buffet, but always struggle when it is a fancy formal wedding. People are usually in their best clothes, and having to dish and serve their own food increases the chance that they will spill food on their best. I know I'm a clutz, but I always struggle when its a buffet dinner at a fancy wedding... but that's just me I'm sure!
I definitely prefer buffet - I've only been to a couple of weddings that have done it, and there's never been issues with the food being cold / unappetizing. That did happen at least once with a sit-down meal, though. And we were stuck - my friends and I had to swap parts of each other's meals so everyone had enough that they found passable to stop being so hungry.
BUT I will say that part of what I like about buffets is that they're less formal and more fun. So if you want to go by what is more formal, then, yeah, sit-down. But if you want a buffet and a formal wedding, you can totally do it.
How about having a crazy food filled cocktail hour with fun stations. Then a seated dinner with many courses. If you did, then you could give everyone the options and great flavors you would have had in your buffet, in a more convient package.
I like buffets because I can take what I want and avoid what I don't like. And I really like chef-action stations, because it's just exciting to get to customize your food.
I also really like family-style dinners, but are there caterers who do that?
I really, really dislike buffets. The wait is usually between long and absurd. It's even worse if there are stations all over the place and you have to wait in multiple lines and carry multiple plates to get an actual entree and sides. Or you are up and down the whole dinner trying to get your food. I like being able to relax and be served. Plus at the last buffet dinner I was at, people were so busy going to multiple buffet lines that we were usually the only people sitting at our table with no one to talk to.
Rather than have one long buffet line, or having a plated dinner, we're having multiple stations, each with a different type of food (i.e. Israeli, Spanish, Chinese and French). It isn't a perfect choice, people will have to walk around and get food, but I like that everyone will be mingling. I guess we'll just have to figure out how to get everyone to sit down long enough for toasts....
I don't mind buffets at all, but in complete honesty when I'm all dressed up I find it annoying. For a picnic/brunch/lunch situation then no problem. But I find it annoying at weddings and I agree with others the wait is brutal. Especially the standing wait (and the possible multipe standing wait).
Well, I prefer buffets because in my experience there are more options and you can choose the more appetizing foods. Plated dinners are often unappetizing IMO. Also, as a vegetarian, I find I'm better off in buffets.
Our wedding will be buffet, but it's quite small (less than 30 people) so the wait time will not really be an issue. It's also not really formal -- we're basically creating our own little cafe in the middle of a rose garden which isn't set up for an event at all. With an outside event like that, you can only go SO formal
With all that said, I agree that plated dinners are the only truly formal option.
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