The Great Invitation Debate

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Chriosania:  I had a similar problem with my FI.  I just made it really really clear that that’s WAY too early for people to RSVP and that Save the Dates are not that expensive.  Heck you could just print them yourself!  I even had a friend offer to just pay for them to get around his “it’s a waste of money” arguement, which made him realize how silly he was being.

Post # 4
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

We are doing a destination wedding and have been spreading details about when, where, etc to guests we know are coming for a few months now. I think that has helped because they have had to plan time off work, saving up for the trip, etc. We are also doing save the dates, which will be going on in mid-March for our mid-November wedding. Our actual invitations will go out in July.

Hope that helps! You can get really cheap save the dates from like Target or even Vista Print. You don’t need to go all out and have something fancy designed or have photos on them. Simple wording with an elegant font can be really classy too.


Post # 5
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - A Beautiful converted Barn

@Chriosania:  we had the same dilemma – we are in UK but have friends & family all over the world so they had to know the date as soon as possible!! we sent out save the dates 18 months before the wedding and then the invites at around 8 months before.

STDs dont have to be expensive – i made over 100 magnets for about £7 using printable a4 magnet sheets!!

tell your SO that there is TOTALLY a point to sending both – the save the date is so you can put it in the diary… the invite has all the details of wher and when!!x



Post # 6
6166 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Chriosania:  i did postcard STDs from vista print.  I ordered 150 which cost me under $30. 

Post # 7
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I am also having a destinationish wedding so needed to get started early. But we are totally budget, so I just did a super simple Save the Date and sent it out as a google doc/email. 

Post # 8
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

People will lose them, they will forget, they will get thrown away accidentally, of course it’s an important day but it’s still just pieces of mail that will be among the missing when it’s time to RSVP. I would show him this thread and try to convince him that STDs are a much better option!! Also setup a wedding website and include the link on the stds so people always have the information at hand.

Post # 10
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

@Chriosania:  I would send out separate save-the-dates now, and then send out invitations a few months before the wedding.


Here’s why – most people have no idea whether they’ll have something going on a year and a half in advance. For those who will book travel to attend your wedding, it’s definitely a good idea to give them advance notice so they can make travel arrangements and save money for the trip/wedding. But if you’re going to need an exact headcount of how many guests you’ll be expecting to give to the caterer, set up chairs, etc., I don’t think you’ll get a very accurate number a year and a half in advance.

ETA: To save on postage, could you send out electronic save-the-dates? I know there are some people really against e-vites, but if you’re just sending out the word for people to plan for travel arrangements, a classy electronic save-the-date would totally work for me!

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