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I'm just curious to see everyone's opinions on my (rather comprehensive) poll! I'm also curious on people's thoughts about female vs. male strippers (or those anywhere in between). I think it's the nudity on the female strippers that rubs me the wrong way... I'm led to believe males leave the bottoms on?
For the record, I fall into the "strip clubs okay in some circumstances, lap dance NOT okay" crowd!
We once went together with a group of friends...it was one of the best times I have ever had...
However, I would not be okay with him going without me.
This topic has been discussed at length on.the Bee, and it usually doesn't end well (just to warn you)
I'm fine with strip club and lap dance for a bachelor party, whether it be his or he's attending one. But I would not like it if he made regular visits just for fun.
@Navy_Wife: meh. my bad? I saw something of the sort on another site (haven't seen anything on here yet!) and was wondering what people on here thought... so far people on this site have seemed very respectful and reasonable. Thanks for the heads up, though.
BTW I have no problems with strip clubs, or lap dances (that's just their job) . But DH doesn't even like them, so it doesn't matter either way! I'm pretty sure I've been to more strip clubs than him, haha.
@Navy_Wife: haha hilarious. I don't have a problem with the job, I have a problem with the titties in my honeys face :)
And it's funny bc I've been to one and he hasn't yet! (Though I was unpleasantly surprised by the skeevyness of the one I went to)
I told FI if some girl is rubbing her boobies all over his face, I consider that cheating lol
strip clus are ok but im not comfortable with lap dacnces. it wouldnt be the end of the world, but i would prefer if he didnt get them
@September29: I think it was last October (I recently changed username, I've been around longer than it looks, lol) that the hive went nuts and there were like 1000 posts about strippers that ended in the mods having to re-evaluate how they moderated the site. It was pretty nasty. Horrible things were said.
@Navy_Wife: well, sh!t.... hoping for the best here. :)
I could deal with him going to the strip club, but a lapdance I just can't deal with. I just don't see how that isn't cheating? It might be a gray area to some, but I'm sorry, I just think of it as cheating.
Everyone has their own opinion here though and I think each relationship is different. I totally respect other women and how they feel on this subject. Everyone works in different ways, so to each their own :)
Here's the thing. We live in a pretty small town, and if the strip club had strippers that we didn't go to highschool with I'd probably be a little bit more okay with it. But give our current locale, I'm not a big fan but boys are gonna do what boys are gonna do.
I am not bothered by strip clubs or lap dances for a bachelor party. If it were an every weekend thing, then yes that would bother me, a lot. Especially since he can get them at home for free haha.
I don't get the debate. You are either okay or not okay with it. Neither side should try to convince the other that they are wrong.
I don't really have an issue with either. Would I be overjoyed if FI went to a strip club and/or got a lap dance on a special occasion? Not particularly, but I don't think it's that bad as long as no boundaries are crossed.
In all seriousness, I've known strippers and a lot of them are harmless. They don't want anything to do with your man, they just want to make a quick buck. I'm not saying that there aren't "entertainers" out there who don't cross the line but I think most are nothing to worry about. Besides, if a guys going to cheat, he's going to cheat. The stripper is just his "prop".
Im with: Neither are okay! I believe a husband/SO shouldnt lust after another woman that isnt his woman and I think lapdances are definitly cheating!
Just my opinion though, like a PP said.. to each their own.
I'm a "neither" girl. I just don't find the whole institution to be honoring.
I'm fine with him going to strip clubs and getting lap dances there...if it's at his or someone else's bachelor party, or other special occasion, or if I'm with him (I cocktailed at a strip club in NOLA for a while, personally I think they're a lot of fun). I wouldn't be okay with it if he started going alone for no reason on random weekday afternoons (or mornings, or nights).
ETA: I completely get it not being okay for some women, though. I might not be so okay with it if I didn't have the employment experience at one that I did.
I'm fine if he goes for his bachelor party. He doesn't like strip clubs and doesn't even want that for his bachelor party. His friends if anything would be the ones pressuring him to go. If he did have a lap dance than that's fine because I know he wouldn't make regular trips there on his own and afterall... he is marrying me. :)
He has me.
If he wants either of those from some other woman? Well, there is something wrong, and I don't want to marry him! :-D
Yeah I'm fine with you can look btu not touch type thing, but in reality if he got a lap dance on occasion I think I'd be ok with it though I'd prefer if he didn't. I would think its fine for my FI to dance with a normal girl on the dance floor (though he doesn't think its ok so he never does). I've seen men at strip clubs and my FI shouldn't be getting off from something he can touch. YET, I think I woudl be fine with a relationship that he coudl kiss other girls. I don't think I'm really consistent.
I have to ask, if you're NOT ok with a strip club... WHY? Would you also be not ok with him watching porn? I just don't understand why lots of women are uncomfortable with their spouse seeing other naked women, so wanted some insight.
My SO was invited to a stag at his buddy's house and they'd hired a stripper. He didn't go out of respect for me and the lady of the house who was against it.
I was very proud of him that day!
I don't want him to have a stag because he's not supposed to drink and he has a bad heart. I know his friends are a bad influence. I told him I don't need him dropping dead before our wedding because some idiots got him drunk.
ETA: I voted "NO" to both
Not okay under any circumstances in my relationship. Not only does it go against everything we believe religiously, but why should I have to share my husband with another woman? I don't get it.
Fidelity is a huge deal to me. I give it 100%, and I expect the same from him.
@JeffsWifey: I get the moral factor of your religion, but how is him looking at another girl sharing him? She's not getting anything from him (i.e. sexual activity or any other aspect of a relationship).
FYI I'm not trying to convince anyone... I just want to understand why people feel the way they do.
My thought process is this- why does he even need to be able to watch other women undress themselves? The whole point of a strip club is to be aroused by something. I think it's completely reasonable for me to expect him to get his jollies off at home, with his wife, who has never, ever turned sex down.
I understand other people don't care about that- to each their own! But that's how I feel.
@AmberAustin: Although I would be okay with it as a one time thing at his bach party and I know he doesn't like it. But I can see how Jeffswifey feels. There is a certain intimacy factor when someone is naked (unless you are a doctor or surgeon). I would not want my FI seeing other naked women at a strip club on a regular basis. There are certain things hubby and wife are supposed to share with each other and have as something special between them. If you are taking that away then it becomes not so special to hubby and wife anymore.
@Miss Tattoo: Like clock work. Maybe we can just link to the other 782452842 threads on this topic. The same arguements have been made over and over and oovveerr again.
Friendly reminder:
If you don't feel like reading a "debate," you don't have to read this thread.
If you disagree with someone, no one is forcing you to reply.
If you still disagree with someone, ask yourself if it's worth it to argue with them...
@chasesgirl: (haha, thanks. and I actually typed that before I saw what ended up being posted just above it!)
@joy2011: Amen.
I don't understand WHY there have been a plethora of threads on this topic. But, since I've never given my two cents, I decided it was time.
@September29: First of all, i'm jealous of your wedding date because it's my birthday! Second, I am in the strip clubs are okay, lap dances are not okay camp! Strip clubs = porn to me, but any form of touching = cheating! (except for dancing at a club!) Lap dances are just too far for me. Luckily, my husband is extremely awkward and the only lap dance he's gotten since we've been together was from a stripper when we went to a strip club together.
Personally, I don't think either are okay, but fortunately my FI and I agree on this. We don't have any desire to visit a strip club seperately or together.
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