(Closed) The Green-Eyed Monster :(

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Try not to give her an open to segway into her wedding planning talk.  If she asks you about yours, smile and say something like, “oh, everything is going well.” and then switch to a completely different topic.

I understand how that can be annoying.  Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I would probably not talk about the wedding with her, if every conversation turns into what she would do for her (hypothetical) wedding. How annoying! It’s not a competition, as we all know 🙂

How old is she? It seems strange she hasn’t clued in yet that a) not everyone is rich and b) it can be awkward for others if you are seen to be bragging that you are (even if you don’t mean to brag). I do wonder that if she *is* an amazing friend and you’d like to keep the friendship for a long time, it might be worth mentioning to her one day how difficult you find it when she talks about money like that. She might not even realise she’s doing it, or that she’s making you uncomfortable – I know if a friend was kind and honest enough to tell me something like that, I would be grateful that they’d given me the opportunity to become a better friend.

Post # 5
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

OMG I totally know where you are coming from!  My MOH is exactly just like that, Daddy paying and all.  I finally had to sit her down, when both of us were in a good mood, and just talk about how it was difficult for me to listen to these things, when I was struggling to find a way to save and pay for my own wedding.  She was very receptive to it, and really had no idea that she was even really doing it… and it sounds like your friend is probably the same.  Just talk to her!!

Post # 6
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

She probably has no idea that you feel the way you do.  Most friends like to talk about plans for parties, etc and she knows that you know her financial situation.  Next time, nicely tell her that when she talks about that it makes you feel disappointed in your own wedding.  If she is a good friend, she will apologize and tell you that she never had the intention of trying to outdo you and she will stop making comments.

Post # 7
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

honestly i wouldnt let it bother you. Even if her make believe wedding does become a reality its not about how much money you spend or the lavish gifts and dresses you buy your bridal party but the love that is in the room when you and your FI exchange your vows. I have a close friend who is heavily involved in my wedding (shes my florist) who is also helping one of her college friends plan a lavish 300 person plus wedding at a super exclusive location here in So Cal and she has commented to me on several occasions that she is most looking forward to our wedding because of the intimate and personal nature of our event. It doesnt matter how much money you have to spend on the wedding its what you do with the money you have.

Post # 8
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would explain to her how it makes you feel.  Tell her that you are really happy for her, and when she is engaged that you will jump in and help with the planning.  (Can I be her bridesmaid? I want a diamond necklace!) But let her know that it makes you feel uncomfortable and self-conscious that your wedding can’t be that elaborate.  If she is a good friend, she will totally understand!

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