Post # 1
The guestlist has been a huge issue for us! Both of our parents have invited way too many people. We are paying for this wedding ourselves and therefore WE should get to choose who is invited. I had to explain that to Fiance since all he cares about is everyone having a good time, and doesnt really get that its costing us a good chunk of money to feed these strangers. I dont want to be meeting someone for the very first time at my wedding, I just feel like that is weird.
So today we sat down and came up with an invite rule: If they have not met our daughter, then they are not invited.
(with exception of our very old grandparents who are too old to travel very often, but have atleast met both of us)
we cut our guestlist by 45 people!!! (i am still hoping about 50 people RSVP “no”)
they were all people we have never even really heard of, so we didn’t care. But I cant help but feel a little odd about getting excited to give people the boot. But in the end it will save us about $3,000, and that is what i’m excited about!
Is it bad to feel happy about this?!
Post # 3
I had to make a similar rule to regain control of the guestlist from my Future Mother-In-Law. I told her that only people who could pick me out of a crowd could come (FI’s family is Polish so she feels everyone that she’s ever met should be invited). FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves as well, PURPOSELY, so that we can have full control of the guestlist and decisions. I also made sure to book a venue that only holds a MAX of 200 people, so that Future Mother-In-Law couldn’t keep adding people. Even with all of those hurdles and arguments, she’s managed to add 2 more people this week to the list and our wedding is in 2 weeks! Ugh. Guestlists are no fun! Congrats to you for eliminating people and saving money!!!!
Post # 4
@maylove13: no my FIs mother did the same thing. Then she goes well so-and-so want need an invite they know to come any way. I was looking dumbfounded. I didn’t think she had a say if she was not paying. FYI she called over thirty ppl to get their address and told them they were invited. My Fiance had to tell her we only have fifty invites and if they didn’t get one they could not just show up. So I see nothing wrong with saving your own money. That leaves more for the honeymoon.
Post # 5
Good for you!!! Our guestlist went from approx. 60 to 125!! we can’t blame our folks though… all together they invited only an extra 12 people.
Thankfully, 25 people declined, but still – feeding 100 is WAY more expensive than 60. Just the facts.
Be kind with your folks but firm. If I could do this all over again, I’d go for a much smaller wedding.
Post # 6
ruby26 yeah, our venue did not give us a max, but it is pretty small and I feel that more than 125 would be crowded and just look bad. FMIL’s guestlist of people we have never met was 90 people!
iansmom Luckily Future Mother-In-Law is not the type of person to overstep me and just invite people without an invitation! I would just die if that happened. Uhm, yeah! the amount we are saving on these peoples dinner is the cost of our entire honeymoon! It just doesn’t make sense for us to have these people who are not special to us be there.
Post # 7
mtnhoney originally we had not wanted to invite any more than 125, so that hopefully we would have about 100 guests attend. Suddenly our list was at 190! We are still at 154 as of today, but we are headed in the right direction 🙂