- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2004
I was asked specifically to start this thread due to my post on another thread about in-laws, so I will start at the beginning.
A little backround: DH’s mother got pregnant at 18 years old and moved back home. She had 3 children with 3 different men. The other two fathers and numerous other “men” were abusive to her children. She abandoned her children several times. She covered up the molestation of one of her children by her brother. She refused to leave a boyfriend who was molesting one of her children because she was tired of her children ruining her happiness. DH grew up being the parent in the family situation and felt like he had to justify her actions. In short, she was a horrible excuse for a mother.
When I met my now Wonderful Husband of eight years, he appeared to be a totally normal man. Little did I know that the piece of trash he referred to as his mother was lurking in the backround. I will mention the biggest things only since I don’t want to write a book. The first time I met her she was nice enough. The second time I met her it all went south. By the third meeting she was calling me a selfish bitch who was trying to steal her son. Keep in mind, the third time, when she flat out cursed me out, my husband said “I don’t think she said it the right way, but I don’t think what she said was entirely wrong”. I thought my head was going to explode. He was so co-dependent that he could NOT bring himself to stand up to her at all! I continued to be nice to her, although I avoided seeing her whenever possible. We had moved in together, and when she would call our apartment it would go like this:
Her: Hello you worthless piece of whore trash. Someday my son will smarten up and leave you. Let me talk to my son!
Then they would just have a regular conversation like she didn’t just tell me off. When I would tell him about it he would say “That’s just her. Just ignore it.” I was still trying to make it work because I loved him. We invited her to come up and stay the weekend with us. The night before she left she started screaming about how having him at a young age ruined her life and told my husband “When I got pregnant with you I should have had an abortion. If I didn’t have the good sense to have an abortion, I should have at least been smart enough to bring you home, bash your head into a wall until you were dead and been done with it!” Him: Nothing!! He just sat there. Me: I started throwing her crap outside and told her that she is an evil bitch and I would never talk to her and that she WOULD NEVER see my children! He brought her crap back inside and told me that he couldn’t do that because she was 2 hours from home and we were her transportation. The next morning we drove her home. My exact words were “Sit there and shut up. If you so much as open your cocksucker, I will kick your ass out of my car!” She didn’t utter a word. We dropped her off and I told him that I would not marry someone who would put up with that kind of insanity in their life. He agreed. We disowned her at that point. Probably the best decision we ever made.
After we were married, he decided that there were some things that he needed to get off of his chest with her for his own closer. We drove to see her and it went horrible. I was pregnant with my first daughter at the time and she said that she could care less about meeting our baby because even though it was half him it is also half me. She then went into another tirade about how awful I am to come along and destroy her happy family (not true by the way. DH’s family is THE MOST DYSFUNCTIONAL family in America). At that point I said “You know Deborah, when you brought your sweet baby boy home from the hospital, I bet you never imagined in your wildest dreams that someone like me would come along and take him away, did you? It has been my honor!” Those are the last words either of us have had with her. That was 7.5 years ago. We are so happy that she is out of our lives for good. I don’t think we would have made it had DH not woken up to the co-dependency.