- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Hi Bee’s –
I never really understood why statistically the home buying process is the most stressful thing a couple can go through, well now I do. FI and I are suppose to close on our home next week, but who knows anything could happen.
Here are my issues. FI has ALWAYS been dependent on his mother for anything and everything when it comes to his finances. She did all of his student loans, checking accounts, savings accounts, e v e r y t h i n g.
It has been the complete opposite for me. I did everything on my own since i was 16 years old. I have managed to have an 800 credit score, so it’s not like I was irresponsible or anything. However, doing everything on my own, allowed me to always know what my financial situation was.
Now that we are applying for a mortgage together, it feels like I am applying for a mortgage with my FMIL. He had to call her for his tax returns, birth certifcate, social serurity card, the man is 25.
I have been pretty much doing everything for this mortgage process. I completed the application for us, got all the checks for the inspection and appriaisal, kept up to speed for our mortgage lender and realtor…and I feel like I am LOSING MY MIND. It is so stressful to buy a home, even more stressful when you feel like you’re doing it alone. I TOLD FI how I felt and he promised to change…I have only seen mild improvement. It just feels like instead of relying on his mother to do everything he is transitioning to me doing everything. I don’t want this kind of marriage.
The straw that broke my back today was when our lender sent us a notice that my FI needed to sumbit a written statement as to why he had a deliquent account back in 2009. I called FI, and he had NO IDEA as usual and stated that he need to call my FMIL to find out. I asked him “WHY ARE YOU SO CLUELESS ABOUT EVERYTHING WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR FINANCES?”
He stated to me “You are beating a dead horse here”.
I am beyond frustratred Bees. All I want to do is cry, and FI just doesn’t get how much this bothers me.
I don’t know what to do, thanks for allowing me to vent.