Okay, so…I will go first.
The objective: DH and I have been married for three months. I moved into his rental house after we got married because he gets a much better deal on rent. We didn’t live together before getting married and were dating for about a year and a half. Together, we have three dogs. We are hoping to start TTC this fall as we are both teachers and think having a baby in summer is best.
The good: My husband is a thoughtful, wonderful, well-balanced man. He truly makes me feel special and I am so grateful for him. We had a wonderful wedding…thirteen people on one of California’s most beautiful beaches (Pebble Beach) followed by a dinner party at a really nice French restaurant in Carmel. We originally planned on getting married this April (book a venue, photographer etc) but, decided, that we couldn’t wait to start our lives together…how much more I know now…
1. Immediately following our very brief (3 day honeymoon,) I sunk into a pretty bad depression. I just felt numb and lifeless. (I have seasonal affective disorder which does not help.) This eventually gave way to anxiety and a very restless feeling.
2. I wasn’t happy and I was sick and tired of being hammered by the dogs all the time. DH has a food aggressive, bumbling big dog. Other than his food aggression, he is fine. I mean, I don’t like the shedding and the smell, etc, but if he can put up with my two small dogs, I can accept his. Anyway, his dog attacked my little 5 lb dog and then turned on my husband when he protected her…it was really traumatic. We were set on finding him a new forever home because we didn’t see how it could work with kids. DH was really set on it and, as time went by, he wanted to rehome the dog less and less. The dog is very protective/aggressive when he is in his crate, too. We have been watching the Dog Whisperer in order to see how we can make the environment more peaceful and we have had some success with all the dogs, but when it comes down to it, the big dog is food aggressive and that makes me fearful with future children. DH is very aware of this and is prepared to rehome him, but wants to see what he can do first. The dog is always in my business, in my other dogs’ business, so that has added to the stress for SURE.
3. I started to feel like I had lost my identity. I missed my home, my stuff, my schedule…at one point, my husband was holding me because I was crying about feeling bad about being married (not him!) and he was being so sweet.
4. We have had A LOT more bickering since we got married. We have had a spat at a frame store, in front of our house, etc…not dramatic, but, you know, spats… I have trouble letting go afterwards and I tend to compound them all together. Marriage has taught me I am a person of extremes.
5. My husband pours himself a glass of milk and drinks it while he lays in bed last night…
6. Oh and in an effort of total transparency, I farted so loud in bed last night that I woke up both of us. Yeah…kind of embarassing…