Post # 1
This is just a little poll. I want to see how many of you Brides, and Grooms and already married couples have both hyphenated your last name.
My Groom and I are going to be hyphenating “herlastname-hislastname” and I couldn’t be more excited. I went through this decision a hundred times.
I was called sexist by my Maternal Grandmother for doing it. Which caused me to go on a rant, how it is a bit sexist for the woman to change her name, but the man can’t. She apologized for it. That was the only drama I’m expecting to handle with the name change for both of us.
Yeah I am doing it for some feminist reasons. I am also doing it because I think Hyphenating names is a really great symbol of combining our two families. (I don’t have a super close realtion with my Father, I consider the name matriarchal because my Mother and my Paternal Grandmother both kept the surname after divorce, so I believe since it was thier choice to keep, I will honor that). I have yet to figure out what to do with my Two middle names, I will most likely drop the first middle name and have as my middle name my mothers maiden name. (And I will give my children that as a middle name if they have a middle name). These are just my choices.
please take the poll and then put down your own feelings. Thanks!
Post # 3
I wanted Fi to do this but he wont… I am either Hyphenating or not changing mine at all.
Post # 4
Mr.ND won’t hypenate, but I will. I’m actually ok with that, and happy that my kids will have just our shared last name, not mine as well (the line of work I plan to do makes me NOT want my future kids easily associated with me).
Today we took our graduation photos, and I got to write out my new name for the first time! It was more fun than it should have been 🙂 We aren’t married yet, but by the time they go to print, we will be, so I used the new one. Wee!
Post # 5
the fi actually offered the both hyphenating option first.
i really couldn’t see not hyphenating. If changing your name is really supposed to symbolize the beginning of a new family, then why do I have to change my name to show that I have joined one but he doesn’t? it was so perfect.
I probably will not in the end have him follow through with this, his family is quite traditional and I think explaining this to them makes him uncomfortable. Any future children (though we aren’t planning any) would carry both names.
Post # 6
We’re not doing that. We are each keeping our own last name, but we agreed that when we have kids, their lastname with be hyphenated
Post # 7
Yeah, I didn’t take the poll because I’m not taking his last name or hyphenating mine. We’re both keeping our birth names.
Not sure yet what we’re going to do when it comes to children – we’re both open to either last name, but I don’t want them to have a hyphenated last name because in my experience, it comes with assumptions and well as confusion on the record-keeping front. (One office will file Mrs. Smith-Rice’s records under “S,” another under “R” another will not include the hyphen, etc.)
Post # 8
I changed my name to his. He was very traditional in this sense and wanted me to take his name and not even hypenate, much less change his to include mine as well.
Post # 9
I’m hyphenating–for professional purposes, I’m keeping maiden name. In my personal life I’ll use my new last name. Our kids will not be hyphenated but have the new last name
Post # 10
Oh wow, I heard some statistic that says that 80% of women take thier husbands name upon marriage. Well this just proves it (even if it is a really small sample size).
Oh and please go through with Hyphenating, please. Its scary to not have family backing you up on this, I am sure we are going to get grief, (and I probably wil not take it so well, been emotional a bit and I am just rehearsing and rehearsing my speech that I will say to adore my darling fiance when I marry him, about this hyphenated name). I am just really excited about it, and finally have let go of my insecurities to the point where I know whatever people think, it was our choice. He could have said no. But ye said yes to the hyphenated name. He got to propose to me to marry him over skype, and we made this decision to hyphenate the same way. (Not the most traditional proposal, but it was cute, I like to call the Proposal “Ring Shopping” and creating the ring together, and picking out his ring together, oh yes, he is also wearing an engagement ring. I love my slightly feminist fiance).
Post # 11
So should I vote “no” above because we’re keeping our birth names, but not giving kids hyphenated names?
Post # 12
Possibly do not sure. Thank you all for making me more honest. Zagora what name will the kids get, his?
In my opinion, if I had kept my name, I would want the kids to have a hyphenated name. but it is your decision. There is another option, the first kid gets your name, the second his. Or the boys the fathers, the girls the mothers.
I have researched this issue a lot. The Hyphenated name for all just seems easier. Our names together will make 16 characters long. That is okay by me.
Post # 13
not sure what to do with this. I really REALLY have a love/hate with my last name. It’s 11 letters. My first name is 9, middle is only 3. So to hyphenate is just… Well It’d be Elizabeth Ann Abcdefghij-Abcdef (obviously changed the last name… My name is just SO long already…
Post # 14
@currentbee: I guess where I’m coming from is that I’ve seen the other side of it, which is that it can easily become a hassle because there’s not a single system for how to catalogue last names, especially when combined they’re over, say, 12 characters.
Whereas in Mexico and in other countries, your name reflects your paternal and maternal heritage, and everyone knows how to deal with two last names because everyone has them.
With regard to last names of our children, I am deeply set against a hyphen, but open to them having my name or his. Possibly mine because it’s more unique, but I see us going with a first name that reflects my cultural heritage and his Anglo last name. (My current last name is not Latino, but that is what I identify most strongly as.)
Post # 15
Not sure! 🙁 I really like my last name. It just goes so well with my first name. I also hate to lose that part of me. Not sure if I want to hyphenate either, because then it may be too long. Yet, if I take only his last name, my name would sound kind of common. Hmm.
Post # 16
I took DH’s last name. I was going to hypenate and then decided when we were getting our license, I didn’t want a long last name. My maiden was 3 letters and I’m now 4 letters. But actually when I thought about it, I was more than thrilled to take his. Its a new phase of my life and after 41yrs, I my family name will live on through my nephews.