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So, I am sure with wedding planning, waiting, or just married life there are a lot of things that upset you and irk you. Some of those things are a big deal, but some of them are just little tiny things that really "shouldn't" bother you but they do anyways. Normally, when someone posts about these things, they get blasted for being selfish or ridiculous. Well, here is a safe place, vent about whatever you want, no matter how silly or little, if it bugs you, get it off your chest!
Please no critiques, unrequested advice or negative comments about what people say!
I'll start!
I know it is silly but, it upsets me that...
my mother invited 6 people to my wedding I have never met
my fmil insists on being the center of attention and wearing an offwhite dress
my fiance doesn't understand why some little things upset me!
it costs $50 a plate for the vendors to eat, seems outrageous
Looking forward to seeing others vent as well!
I'm 8 days from my RSVP deadline and we're still missing almost HALF the responses! WTF people - the return envelope was PRE-stamped and PRE-addressed for you!!!
One of my oldest friends and bridesmaids blew off my surprise shower last weekend b/c one of her friends wasn't invited and it was too far to drive. I've made the drive up to see her 5 million times for lesser reasons, and everyone there had to drive at least an hour - most had a multi hour trip to rival hers. She was the only dim spot in a wonderful day and it sucks that she wouldn't join us.
- my mom saying that we will go dress shopping when I loose a few pounds. i'm not that big!
- no one liking the reception area that fi and i like because there isn't a hotel attached.
- fmil keeps on telling me that we MUST have our reception at a certain place because it has a hotel. that way people can drink more. ( fi and i don't really drink)
- my sister taking her two young sons with when we finally decided to go look at wedding dresses. ( it was ww3).
- dad wearing slippers and not brushes his hair when we went to look at venues. ( i know its silly)
- people telling us we won't have time to take care of a dog. ( we both really want one)
anyways. thats what has been bothering me lately. lol. I know some of it sounds a little crazy, but it still burns my butter!
If another person asks me when we are getting engaged and if it'll be on our trip to Europe, my head will explode. If another person asks what happened with the house, my head will explode. If I knew when we were getting engaged, I'd be sure to have already told everyone... if I wanted to talk about not getting the house, I would be talking about it.
That's more of a vent than a silly feeling vent. thanks
we dont have thousands of dollars for a dream honeymoon... stop making a dumb face when we say we dont know where we are going, unless you are going to provide us with a faboulous honeymoon.
Sorry we aren't rich we are paying for most of the wedding ourselves we are lucky if we get to do Vegas.
EVERYONE has an opinion but no one helps.. why??
It annoys me that I have to have my wedding in a month that RAINS non stop, squeezed into my 10 day work holiday and on my Birthday, to suit everyone elses schedule... Which, I am, Coming To Terms with, but still, secretly a little resentful about....
My FI us just as wishy washy as me, and says, "Yep, it's good babe, book it!" And 3 days later... "You didn't BOOK IT though, right..?" WTF? Come. On.
I'm sure I'll be back with more....
Oh, I am also not thrilled about the $50/plate vendor meal... I mean it is the right thing to do, but weddings are always about cutting costs, this is working in the wrong direction!
@NatDawn--"Everyone has an opinion, but no one helps."
Yes! This, exactly. Help me, or quiet down, for the love of God.
Yesterday, my mother told me she would "rather DIE than eat cake from a tree" (I love those tree stump cake stands. Oi.
People asking when I'm going to get pregnant. Um, not even married yet, can we do that first??
We're having a long engagement, and FI's sister just got engaged last week and will beat us to the altar. I KNOW it's silly, but I'm upset anyways!
The one thing I’m completely angry/sad about right now is NWR, but I’m going to go ahead and vent anyhow!!
There is this house that I have been in LOVE with (and lust with) for well over 2 years now. It’s amazing. I drive by and oogle it almost every day (it’s on my way home, I’m not quite *that* creepy). When I go for walks/runs in the evening, I always have to run by this house and stare at it, because it’s so gorgeous.
It’s now for sale.
It’s also about $900k out of my price range! LOL which I knew – that’s no surprise. And I wasn’t bothered by the fact that it was unattainable – just a dream. I was fine with dreaming about it. What bothers me now is that someone else will buy it! And probably someone from NYC, who will only use it for a summer house (it has a full water view, would be amazing for parties, etc.), and they won’t love it like I would love it.
I know this is totally irrational, but it makes me want to scream. That’s MY house!!!!! It’s not fair!!! I need a fairy godmother!
p.s. here's a picture of her (sob! sob! sob!)
I was annoyed that one of my BM chose to go to one of her friends birthday parties rather than accompany me to my first dress fitting. FYI my fitting was at 1pm in the afternoon and the party was way later so ??? That same BM takes forrrrever to reply to e-mails. grrrr
-i try soooo hard to keep in touch with everyone i care about, regardless of how far away they live, and instead of just responding to a "how are you doing?" email, my friend sent me one back saying how crazy busy her life is and she would try and respond to my email when she had a chance.i've gotten like 4 other long winded other emails she's sent out to multiple people since then, and yet she is too busy to respond to me one on one.
My younger sister getting pregnant has completely ruined our relationship. She's become entitled, spoiled and bitchy and my parents are catering to her every whim. She constantly brings up the fact that she is going to be a mom even in times when it is inappropriate. She keeps rubbing it in my face that her boyfriend has already bought her a ring and even though she knows my bf and I have been casually planning a wedding for the next year or so she is doing everything in her power to make sure she is "first".
I'm more than resentful of her for her attitude. If she were being responsible I don't think it would bother me as much but lately I get angry even hearing her mentioned or having to be in the same room with her. It makes me feel like a bad person, but I really think I hate her. I know I shouldn't feel this way but I can't help but feel like she has taken away from me everything I valued and "earned" by being the oldest. She doesn't have any humility or respect and I want nothing to do with her, but I have to pretend to be supportive or risk losing my family...
My mother keeps pointing out every flaw in my face and body, and telling me I need to 'look perfect' and 'look beautiful' on my wedding day! Uhh... I just want to look happy, and I would be happier if she didn't keep reminding me of my lack of perfection. She's not being mean... it's almost like it's a compulsive behaviour for her. But it's still frustrating!
We were married a few years ago but my gripes were:
- My mother in law doing her "You're ruining my life thing.. I did things this way.. so you should too" to get her way and it working (I'm finally learning how to say no).
- My wedding showers. I asked for none. MIL won one from me- it turned into two. At the family one none of my in-laws talked to me, my mother, or my sister. It was a shower for my MIL.
- Husband's Aunt (vendor who screwed us after the big day) showing up unannounced with my MIL when we had errands to run.
- In laws having to bring their dogs to the ceremony
- Not knowing while we were saying our vows my husband had 15k worth of debt on several credit cards my FIL opened. (husband was unaware as well).
My in-laws are on my nerves at the moment so the things I'm remembering has to do with them.
We had the same problem! My parents kept adding people and business partners.. even invited some to rehearsal. Ended up being okay though because we still ended up with the RSVP # being where we wanted it. And you have every right to be mad about your FMIL's choice of dress.. that is rude for anyone to do let alone someone who is related to the bride and groom and obviously old enough to know better!
Recently my biggest thing is the amount of people who did not return their RSVP.. we are still waiting to hear back from 50 people and its over a week past the deadline. And some of these people we have emailed and still have not heard back!! Im going to make a CAN NOT ENTER list with these people's names on it! We are having a seated dinner $50 a person and its so rude for people not to give you a yes or no!!
SanDiegoAli- we imvited 325 and had 90 people not respond by deadline (a week ago) and are now down to around 50 people!!!!!! I feel your pain!
It's stupid, but I'm fiercely upset that one of my fiance's friends decided to "phone in" his RSPV. I sent you a pre-stamped envelope with my address written on it, and you STILL can't be bothered to raise your fat fingers to mail it back to me?
And the worst part is that after my fiance told me this, we got into a big argument about it, because he OK'd it. Argharghargh!! I told him to PLEASE not do that again, if guests ask tell them to mail it in so I can keep everything straight and he thinks it's perfectly okay for people to phone in. I'm so angry right now I could scream. Why did I even bother putting all that effort into the wording on the RSVP cards?
I know it is silly but, it upsets me that...
People on wedding boards rip me apart for wanting to save money on food. For Christ's sake, I'm in college and FH is working his little butt off to make ends meet. What makes you think we're going to serve a huge, heavy meal at 7pm? Seriously. Our family and friends know our budget. No use trying to bully me into saying, "You know what--we're wrong for wanting to stay within our budget constraints."
I know it's silly, but it bugs me that my husband couldn't look for the good in the job offer I got today. All he could focus on was how little time I'd have to myself, or at home. Yeah, I get that and I was going to turn it down anyway (I already have a full time job, this would have been a 2 weekend extra thing), but he still could have been proud of me and how excited I was instead of shooting it down without letting me tell him about it.
Typically supportive husband, but total downer today, led to a huge arguement which was hard because we live apart half of the week. Lots of tears on phone, grumpiness, etc.
@Mrs. Meowerson: I am in exactly the same situation with a very close friend. MY FI had a major car accident, and honestly, barely escaped death. Her and I email frequently, when her boyfriend--now Fiance-- is out of town. Now that he is home, she can't even respond to my email about my fiance's accident, but yet has the time to send me about 5 email forwards!!! I actually asked her if she even got it, really thinking that she didn't receive it!! Her reply was that she has been very busy out on the boat with her FI!--- WHAT?!? You don't have time to email and say; "OMG, is he okay, are you okay?? Hugs!" But you can send unimportant forwards!!! I'm sure that inserting everyone you knows NAME into the forward field took longer than asking me if we were okay!
Needless to say, I am re-evaluating our "friendship" Pffttt..
I'm trying to plan a wedding that looks fun and purposefully hodge-podged on a tiny budget. I'm cool with mismatched cake stands and lots of different table sizes and plastic cutlery, but I REALLY don't want our DIY food in crock pots. FI and FMIL (whom I love dearly...don't get me wrong) insist that crock pots will be fine.
One of my bridesmaids didn't show up to my bachelorette party :(
@gabrielleelise1981: Haha awww! I really understand where you're coming from. Not because I've ever felt that way about a house, but that's totally something I would do nonetheless. Well, maybe one day, you and hubby will hit some lucky break, and then the previous owners will put it up for sale, and you'll be able to afford it! You never know!
And agreeing with those who talked about having long engagements and seeing those who got engaged later get married before you...oh man. I am seeing this with several people now. Even worse is when they are younger than us (and when you're only 22, every year seems to make a difference!). I just hate it. A former coworker who really was the SWEETEST guy, and I am genuinely SO happy for him and his fiancé, just got engaged last week and they're planning on getting hitched next fall. Argh! I've been engaged for eight months now, and there was so little fanfare when it happened (no party, no cards, no announcements, none of that good stuff, heck we haven't even been able to nail down some informal e-pics, which we wanted to do two sets of since we'll be engaged for so long! :( ), and he and his FI are getting the royal treatment and are making it down the aisle months before us...or maybe even over a year, since it might be the case that we need to push back our wedding yet ANOTHER year, to Jan 2013, because of a financial concern. Bah!
Okay, I'll play - this is awesome thanks for posting!
1) When my MOH tells others that we're paying for the wedding ourselves. Quite frankly, it's nobody's damned business who is paying for the wedding.
2) When I go home EVERYBODY wanting to make plans when all I want to do is be left alone and relax. Yes, I would love to see people, but I didn't drive 3 hours just to drive all over the damn city.
3) When people call wedding ideas "cheesy" - obviously I don't think it's cheesy b/c I'm considering it so just keep your damn mouth shut!
:)
I'm unbelievably upset that my sister (who lives three hours away and I haven't seen since early May), who was supposed to be coming up to see the family is instead choosing to go to the state fair with her friend and will be gone the entire "visit." She complains about being left out of the wedding planning, and then when we scheduled a bridal gown appointment so she could help me look, she said she would have to consult with her friend to see if the timing was okay with her.
I'm also pissed that she's complaining to my mother that I didn't ask her what days would work for HER for my to have MY wedding on! It's over a year away, it's on a Saturday, and it's local. How can you not plan that far ahead and have one free weekend for me?
Let's see..
It upset me when I asked my MOH to come to the reception venue with me (she's never seen it) to get ideas about decorating and she turned me down. I asked her to pick the date that we would go, but she said she would be too busy in the next few weeks and to go without her. She told me a few months ago to get her more involved in the planning, but when I do she doesn't seem interested. I asked her to help me with a DIY project - no response. I've decided to not ask her to anything for me anymore.
It upset me when my fiance told me his grandmother probably won't be attending our wedding (no reason given), even though she'll attend events like her grandkid's dance recital. (That the grandkid is in for a grand total of 5 minutes).
I posted a relationship status on Facebook that I am engaged... my sister has yet to reply :( as well as some other friends. This upsets me. I don't get it. :(
and it upsets my Mom that since I have told my family I am engaged, my sister hasn't even called my Mom in two weeks to talk about it!!!!
NWR-TMI- Just went for annual check-up and was diagnosed with mild yeast infection, (no nasty symptoms, just an itch, every once in a while.)
This would be no biggie, except that I went to another doctor 6 months ago with the same, mild symptoms and he told me to change my detergent.
I mean seriously, how hard can it be to diagnose? Here I am, buying expensive detergents and soaps. Not to mention- I'm sure my SO is totally grossed out.
@saddlebred: Oh yeah! I hear ya! I mentioned our wedding plans several times to my mom. She changed the subject each time! She finally asked a question or two, TWO months later.
My BFF from 8th grade (read: like a sister, present at the birth of one of my children) was all excited and wanted to go dress shopping with me. So I called her when the time came... no answer. So I sent a text and left a oicemail. Still nothing. That was 2 wks ago. I have since bought my dress. Finished the shopping for it alone and bought it on eBay. She is still alive. I know this because because she posted some random stupid quote on Facebook today.
And finally.. those people I DO talk to on a regular basis are all frustrated with me because all I can think about/talk about is wedding planning and they keep saying things like "You still have PLENTY of time!"... and I keep reminding them over and over that in a few days FI and I return to school full time, as do the children, and when that happens it is literally non-stop busy busy busy... with very little time for anything besides studying, school, the kids school stuff, laundry, groceries, rinse, repeat. We have one car, 3 kids in the house, full time course loads, a mortgage, house to maintain, 3 cats, 2 dogs, kids go to a charter school so no bus transpo, kid activities, part time work for us... you get the idea.
And we STILL have to buy books and supplies, and get everyone haircuts, because our financial aid checks are late and won't arrive until Friday.
So what they don't seem to GET is that if I don't get the bulk of wedding planning done now I am screwed... and it's obvious these people haven't planned a wedding ever, or haven't done it in DECADES, or had a LOT of help when they did it (as in interested and helpful friends/family, maybe!?).. because they keep insisting that 212 days is "plenty of time"! (oh and we are paying for it all ourselves)
Ugh! Maybe if they offered to DO something it would be plenty of time. 
@gabrielleelise1981: I totally understand. I did "pretend" house shopping for years before we were able to buy ours. I fell in love with many, but one or two still stick with me and there's one that is close to our house now.... and I drive by it and think "You people have no idea how lucky you are!" ;) I live in an older neighborhood and it's a darling historic cottage style, and they have done all sorts of modernization to it. Ugh. No respect!
It did help me to buy this house though. Kind of eased the ache for the houses that came before it. I love our little house. :)
LOL...thanks for the chuckle ladies....My turn!
That our RSVP deadline is 12 days away and there is still 75% RSVP cards outstanding!
That my cousin called to tell me that she and my other 2 cousins (her siblings, all of which are grown and still live with my aunt and uncle) want to bring their significant others whom I have never met! To top it off, she said her brother's girlfriend's sister wanted to "tag along" too! Ugh...
That I am such a push over that I told my cousin (above story) OK! Omg...I wanted to slap myself upside my head when that word came out my mouth!
That people comment on why I chose the color black for the BM's dresses! OR why we chose to have an 'adult only" reception!
That a couple of my FI's groomsmen didn't go to his bachelor party weekend in Vegas because they have possessive and jealous girlfriend's that didn't let them go!
That I have to go on a mini diet because my dress fits a lil snug! This means I have to eliminate my morning sausage biscuit =(
Thanks OP for opening the door to vent.....I feel a lil better now =)
OMG I love this post!! I've read all of these replys and feel the same way as so many of you!! Glad to have a place to vent where we won't get ripped apart for being selfish!! Yay! I have so many, here goes... (sorry this is long)
I know it is silly but, it upsets me that...
1) My unlce is not coming to our wedding because it's the same weekend as his beloved Nascar races that he goes to every year. I even told him a year and a half in advance so he could plan his normal trip home hopefully to coincide with our wedding. He comes home all the time with no advance notice and we can't get time off work and he's pissed. I tell him this early and he can't because of race weekend...jeesh.
2) My mom wants to wear a veil to my wedding. I said I want to wear a birdcage veil and she decided that she wants to as well. WHAT?! If I was wearing a tiara would she want one of THOSE?
3) People saying "Aren't you already married? Why are you having a wedding?" Yes, we are already married. After the proposal we got the news that SO was being deployed. We eloped in Jamaica before he left for war, and no one was there. We were all alone. We want to celebrate with all of you as originally planned, it's free... Just come and shut up about it!! This is why we wanted to keep our Jamaican nuptuals a secret anyway!!
4) My grandmother spilling the beans that we got married in Jamiaca. We actually want people at our wedding grams and want people to treat it like a wedding.
5) My mom not being interested in the wedding as it pertaines to me. She picks apart the things I tell her about our plans and all she cares about is what she's going to wear and how she's going to look. She hasn't even told me I'm pretty in like 3 years...probably longer. I know she'll do the same thing on my wedding day. And she's walking me down the aisle...she wants all the attention because she's jelouse that I get what she never had.
6) My MIL is going to try and ruin our wedding. I'm just preparing for the annoyance now. She's ruined everything else including our engagement party, so the wedding will be her masterpiece.
7) This isn't silly, but I havn't told this to anyone else other then my SO yet: my grandmother married a man that molested me for years when I was a little girl. She stayed married to him and the family caters to him. It disgusts me. I don't want him at the wedding. He ruins everything. He always starts fights with me and hates it when attention is on me and he see's people loving me. He's pissed that I told on him. My mom has NEVER backed me up with that whole thing and now I need her to stand up and be by my side. I said I wanted her support with asking my grandmother not to bring him to the wedding and she said "Oh BLANK, you're being selfish! You can't expect grandma to come and not bring him! If you want that then you should just expect her not to come either. It will never happen". Selfish??? Far from it! She's always told me I'm selfish but I know I'm not. She's the selfish one.
Ok, vent session now complete.
@Pilotsgirl09: Tell your mom you're wearing a tiara, convince her to wear one too, then do the opposite. Let her show up and look ridiculous in a tiara! :-D Hey I even have one I don't want, if you want it. lol.
My mom hasn't told me I look pretty in I don't know how long. That's ALL she ever said when I was growing up, and I based my self esteem on it. Not that I was smart or resourceful. Pretty pretty pretty. But to her if you are as much as 15 pounds overweight then you are shameful. So since I fit that criteria I haven't heard it in ages.
When she saw my outfit I wore to my oldest son's high school graduation (which was adorable and flattering) she couldn't even toss a compliment my way. Instead she said "Why aren't you wearing that skirt I bought you??"
I will admit I'm taking extreme pleasure, every time she tries to give me my aunt's hand-me-downs (my aunt buys clothes even more than me and gets bored with stuff quickly)... my mom will say "Here, you have this. It's too big for me." and EVERY time I will now say "Oh? What size is it?", and she answers, then "What size are YOU, mom?" and then I remind her repeatedly that she and I area only one or two sizes apart. She wears a 10 or 12 and I can wear anything from a 12 to a 16. But usually a 14. And she's usually a 12.. so that is ONE SIZE.
And she shuts up real quick, until next time and I remind her again. Muahaha. Yeah I'm a little evil.
And your last one sucks. I don't know how you can stand that and I am so sorry. My younger son (now almost 13) was molested by an older child... my son was 5 and the other child was 10 and emotionally disturbed. I can not IMAGINE not doing everything in my power to protect him from here on out from ever being around that other person again! He has had counseling and I took action immediately. I hate to hear stories where someone was abused and not supported or believed. I was sexually abused as a child too (at age 7) and never told anyone, because I didn't think I'd be believed/heard. It was a boyfriend of my mom's. Thankfully a short-lived one.. but still. I'm so sorry. :(
MsInterpret thank you for the support and the funny comments!! I like your tiara idea...lol!!!!
Oh oh one more I know it's silly but I can't help being bothered by...
A friend of mine who's not even engaged yet is already planning her wedding to be a couple weeks before mine and wants it in the same location and time of day as our wedding. She specifically said she doesn't care what month they do it in, she just wants to be married but I keep getting the distinct feeling she's trying to "beat me" to the alter. We've had to live through a war (literally) to get to this day, where's the respect? I just wish she'd have the wedding somewhere else. I don't even care if it's a week before mine, as long as it's somewhere else. I hate the idea of our friends comparing our weddings. But luckily it looks like her and the future FI can't afford the amount of $$ it costs to use our venue...I can't lie when I say I'm glad.
@sulaii211: Just an FYI, your SO can "carry" the yeast too and have no symptoms and reinfect you repeatedly. You might want to talk to your doc about that. At least that is what I was told years ago by a GYN.
My mum actually saying "You'll struggle for attention at your wedding, because your brother's new baby is soooo beautiful"!!!
This is the baby that had destroyed my "no children" policy, that is the result of a relationship of less that 18 months, and that came after my brother totally trampled all over my long-awaited engagement by proposing to his girlfriend of 3 months a few weeks after I'd got engaged (and then broke up with 1 month later!!!). Oh, and my aunt getting engaged as well - another shock engagement apparently sparked by my own. I know it's wrong to be jealous and resentful of happy things like babies and marriages, but I kind of was looking forward to being the only bride in my (very very small) family. My aunt and brother have already been married before. Totally childish and selfish of me, I know, but that's how I feel!
More minor, but has been totally infuriating - guests demanding off-menu food - before even RSVPing! Everyone got a choice of lamb or vegetarian. And a couple of people came back with "I don't like vegetarian food (WTF!?) can I have something else?" And my FI totally caved! So now there will be legs of lamb being carved at each table, and 2 people eating their own plates of chicken! Grr!!!
My wedding was a few months ago... something that still upsets me is how my step mom wouldn't tell me what she was wearing the day of the wedding. I didn't really care what she wore but I wanted to make sure of what kind of corsage (wrist or pin-on) to get her. It also bugged me more and more because she and my dad made it a big deal that I not know what she was going to wear. I also showed her a photo of my dress right after I bought it and then she kept telling me that her dress was a surprise. Her attitude (and my fathers) about it just made it sound like they didn't trust why I wanted to know and that I was going to be controlling about it. I still feel so offended that I showed her my dress (trusting her and trying to be nice) then she makes a big deal about why I should know what she is wearing. I got her the pin on corsage, she showed up in a red spagetti strap dress... I handed her the corsage and she is like "why didn't you tell me that is why you wanted to know?" (for the record I did tell my dad that was why and why should I have to explain my intentions!! Just trust me!) and my dad thought the worst of my intentions (he also told me in a conversation about the fathers tuxes that he didn't trust my opinion and I was to have no say in what he was wearing.. not that I wanted to ..other than what ended up being the bow tie thing, but that is a different story). As soon as she said that my blood was boiling and I fired something back like "I told dad that was why". My moh was surprised I didn't reem her out on the spot. SM ended up carrying the corsage around. And then just not wearing it half the day, she tossed it on the ground behind us in our picture cause she had no where for it... Sorry I tried to include you and be nice! grrrrr. I feel a little better now.. .
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