Post # 1
Today I had lunch with a girlfriend. She’s getting married next year. She’s extra stressed, extra irritable, but so excited. So am I.
However, we had met to decide whether or not to go visit a friend in the hospital. He just lost his fiance. They had been together for seven years, and had waited until they were both graduated to get married. This fall. A drunk driver was going the wrong way down the highway. Our friend was sitting next to his future wife when she died. We were both torn between trying to be there for a friend and also realizing that he may not want to see anyone. Talk to anyone. Be reminded of any of it. In the end we messaged his brother to see if he wanted any visitors. We settled on a card and decided to wait for a visit. Because it’s not just “so happy you are okay”, but “I’m so sorry”.
I apologize for the somber note, but it made me and my friend realize:We are both caught up waiting for engagements and weddings and talking about dresses and flowers and rings. I’m not saying that none of that matters – they definitely do – and we are allowed to be excited about all of them.
But today at lunch we both decided something.
A) to hug our SO’s extra tight tonight and B) to make sure the last thing we do every night and every day before we leave the house is to say “I love you”. Even if you’re shouting out the door about plans for later or scrambling for your keys. Even if you go to bed annoyed, even if you are grumpy, no matter what. To slow down for that two seconds and just revel in the fact that you have love, you’re in love, and that’s beautiful.
That’s our “I love you” challenge.
Any bees with us?
Post # 3
I’m with you.. I am sorry for your friends loss .. when you see him give him an extra big hug from the Bee’s.
Post # 4
I’m with you! I always try and remind myself of this.
Post # 5
@misswhereami: I’m already on board, I make sure I say I love you every single time I leave the house because you simply never know. Sometimes it’s not the VERY last thing I say, but 80% of the time it is. I could try harder to add it in at bedtime, though.
Post # 6
Stories like that always make me tear up. I can’t imagine how awful it would be to be in that position.
I already do this- if SO is leaving and I’m pissed off at him, there’s always a second where I’m like “What if he gets in an accident and I missed this opportunity to say I love you because of some stupid argument?” Strangely I’m not as worried about getting into an accident myself. I think he has only left the house one time without us hugging and saying I love you even if we’re still a little upset.
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House
FI and I are LDR right now, but every time we hang up, even if it’s a 10 second conversation, we say “I love you.”
I think it’s a leftover from his military service, but whatever it is, I’m thankful.
What a terrible situation your friend is in. I would not know what to do in your situation either, other than whatever he needs from you. My thoughts are with him.
Post # 8
I like it! I’m in.
For your friend, I think it would be alright to go visit him. I don’t know him, but we recently lost someone (Fi’s mom :(, stupid cancer) and it really helped to have people around. Without the family around, we both just felt sorta lonely and sad, and thought about the future we were supposed to have that is no longer possible.
I’m very sorry, and I like your idea.
Post # 9
@misswhereami: I am so with you! So sorry for your friend. I cannot imagine if that happened to me or anyone I love. Prayers and more prayers for him. Yeah, I have always been that way, I say “I love you” pretty much every time we depart from each other or before bed at night or even in a text. Don’t ever want to regret anything. You never know what can happen in life!
As for your friend, it must be really hard. It’s so hard to even know what to say. I know you already decided… but if you are close to him, it might be nice to be there for him. When people are in mourning, there is often nothing to say. But just for someone to sit quietly with the mourning person can be soooo comforting. So if you are still considering it that’s my piece. Of course I don’t know the logistics, you do. Just wanted to say that. When he’s out of the hospital he’ll probably need a lot of help too, you can probably bring him meals and stuff.
Post # 10
I’ve lost a lot of friends and family members suddenly, so I grew up with this routine. You never know when your life will be over.
Post # 11
How awful. Your friend needs you, though, even if just to cry with.
My husband and I always say “Love you bye!” every time we leave the house.
Post # 12
My best friend died suddenly last summer. She had heart disease that no one knew she had, and she passed away on her fiance’s birthday – during a nap on the couch – two months before they were going to get married (sounds like a made up story doesn’t it?)
I am so sorry for your friend and I think it’s so important to tell your loved ones just how important they are to you.
Post # 13
I’m in. We say “I love you” about two million times a day.
Post # 14
I think this should also be used for other friends and family! I have lost three good friends in the past year… One to cancer, one to heart failure in her sleep (she was overweight), and the most recent, my very close friend Kyle died in his sleep in October of a serious seizure – no warning except a series of bad headaches in the weeks leading up to it. So heartbreaking… I’m only 27, and my friends were all under 30 at their time of death 🙁
Post # 15
Lovely idea. I’m sorry for your friends loss.
I just recently heard about a guy on the news that had been with his FI for 10 years, he was at his bachelor party the week before the wedding and fell and hit his head and died. Just devastating.
Also read a statistic that men who kiss their wives goodbye in the morning when they leave for work live 7 years longer than men who don’t. Could be made up but i like the idea.
Post # 16
@littlemisst08: I also always do it before leaving the house. And end all my phone calls to my parents and DH with it. I will definitely be trying harder to remember to say it at night as well.
@misswhereami: I am so sorry for your friend’s loss. One of DH’s friends also recently lost his SO of a few years to a drunk driver going the wrong way. It was definitely an eye opening experience.