Post # 1
I love my husband. I really do. But sometimes he drives me insane. I thought we could all share stories about our SO’s so that I can laugh and not freak out when I go home.
Here’s mine: Twenty minutes ago I receive a text from my DH that his co-workers wedding is the same weekend we are going on vacation (we are going with another couple). DH has known this co-worker for 6 months now and has never hungout with him outside of the office. Here is our convo:
DH: John Doe I work with is getting married the weekend of June whatever.
Me: That’s when we are in Punta Cana. Is that an issue?
DH: Crap well I would like to attend his wedding, but we’ll talk about it.
Me: What is there to talk about?
DH: Can we go in May instead? I’ll talk to my boss.
Me: Talk to your boss about what? Everyone except you has gotten off the days in June. I will go with or without you. And God help you if I go without you.
DH: Wow you are tough.
Me: Are you serious about changing vacation to go to his wedding?
DH: If we can possibly change it I would like to.
Me: Sweetie. I love you very much. But we are not rearranging our vacation.
And now crickets. Why are they so clueless?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! And why do they torture us so?!?!?!?!?!?! 🙂
Post # 3
I’m totally not siding with your hubby, but I don’t really think that he did anything that terrible! I can see why it would bother you, but perhaps you should just be open to talking about it instead of saying “Talk to your boss about what? Everyone except you has gotten off the days in June. I will go with or without you. And God help you if I go without you.”
Post # 4
Love the conversation! He’s clueless about why he can’t change the date of vacation, and you don’t understand why he wants to go to a co-worker’s wedding. He’s a people pleaser, wants to compromise so no one gets hurt! In his mind, it’s quite simple…
Post # 5
@AshleyR83: i get that you do not know us. so it is a very fair statement. i was laughing as i wrote “i’m going with our without you, god help you.” he’s just so clueless sometimes.
Post # 6
@happyface: he loves to please everyone. it’s his best asset and his worst. 🙂
Post # 7
I really can see both sides. I can completely see why you’re pissed, I would be, too. He should know without asking you what the answer should be. But, maybe he has a reason he wants to attend the wedding or maybe that guy sort of guilted him into asking you. Whichever thing it was, it got a little blown out of proportion. I know if I had texted back something like, “I will go with or without you,” my FI would be furious. I wouldn’t even go there. At the point he’d said you could talk about it later, I would have said, “Ok, honey, later.” Obviously you shouldn’t change your vacation plans for his co-worker’s wedding. But you still need to find out your DH’s reason for even thinking you should. Maybe he has a good explanation. Or maybe he was just being a dumb guy, lol. They do that. We love them anyway.
ETA: Just read your next post. The trouble with texting is they can’t hear you laughing. It sounded harsh in just reading it, maybe he took it that way. Or, maybe he just got busy at work and can’t text back yet.
Post # 8
@Sunfire: I agree! I’m def on OP’s side and don’t think you should change your vacation, but the thing is (and I’m still learning to fine tune what I’m about to say….) sometimes I think you need to handle guys very delicately. Generally, guys have delicate egos (I’m obviously generalizing here, not trying to be sexist) and you don’t want to shoot them down and make them feel like they have stupid ideas. Then they’ll get embarrassed and defensive, and that’s not going to turn out great. You can entertain your hubby’s idea, and act like you’re considering it, but then sweetly show him how YOUR idea is much better! Hell, maybe he’ll even come to the conclusion on his own – even better b/c he will think it was HIS idea!
Post # 9
@Sunfire: he knows how i feel. it’s all good. he followed it up by asking me to stop at the store on the way home for his cousin. which i am happily doing.
backstory i guess is needed: this is my vacation. we are going to florida in april to be with his family. we agreed that i got to choose our next vacation since i have re-arranged my schedule to appease him. this is the ONLY time i can take vacation until november. he knows i am not a biotch or being mean.
i was just hoping to hear some stories of other women whose SO sometimes make them slap their hand to their forehead and just say “did he really say/do that?”.
Post # 10
@mshoagie: I get what you’re saying. Since he knows you so well he probably took it in the way you meant it, which was humorous. I’m sorry if it sounded like I was implying you were being bitchy, I didn’t mean to at all. And I would be thinking the same thing, “Are you kidding me? Re-arrange our once-a-year vacation for that? No way in hell!!” Texting is weird, sometimes it sounds different than you mean it to. Just like emailing and posting on a board like this, lol. I’m still pondering what my FI has done lately to make me slap my forehead . . . he’s pretty perfect, though, but we’re in the lovey-dovey-just-got-engaged-stage. Give me a few more months.
Post # 11
@AshleyR83: LOL, yep, very smart idea!!
Post # 12
@Sunfire: oh i didn’t think you were implying bithcyness. texting, emailing, non-verbal communication is always taken out of context. fortunatley we almost always understand each other. others will not, but as long as we get it. 🙂
that is so sweet your FI is perfect. the lovey-doevey stage is wonderful i hope it lasts more than a few more months. 🙂
Post # 13
I don’t get why you can’t discuss the option. I’d be kinda pissed (or silent) if I got shut down without so much as a discussion.
Post # 13
@mshoagie: I thought that was a kinda cute/silly conversation between you and DH. From the way you talk about it I can tell you were more rolling-your-eyes than royally-pissed.
So I’ll bite, and share my Idiot Man story 🙂
SO and I were making a run to the Redbox at ShopRite 5 minutes before it closes. I had to pee like a racehorse, so I pushed him toward the Redbox and shouted, “Pick whatever movie you want!” as I ran to the bathroom. This is the conversation when I get back:
me: So what did you pick?
SO: The Adjustment Bureau.
me: No really. What did you get?
SO: The Adjustment Bureau!
me: You’re…joking. What did you really get??
SO: I really got The Adjustment Bureau!
At this point he holds out the DVD so I can see, and I just stare at him in shock.
me: Um, honey… The Adjustment Bureau? Remember when we saw that last week at your friend’s house? And you couldn’t stop talking about how much you love Matt Damon?
He hung his head in shame, and put the DVD right back in the Redbox, while saying it was the worst dollar he’d ever spent!!
Post # 14
@mshoagie: Me too! But, still, he’s a GUY. And they are definitely different from us in the way they think about things sometimes. I’ll be curious to know how your conversation goes tonight, and what his explanation is for even suggesting such a thing, lol . . . you have to let us know later, ok?
Post # 15
sample convo for us:
me – “what do you think about hanging the ledges over there?”
him – ::silience:: “what do i think about hanging the ledges there…” (repeating my question to himself)
him – ::silence::
him – ::silence::
me – “hellloooooo”
him – “that is a good idea.”
seriously takes him like 3 minutes to comprehend what I am saying sometimes.