The Larger The Rock, The Rockier The Marriage

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

I’d beleive it. I’m sure it’s not true for everyone but I think the people who are happy with spending less are more focused on the marriage and being together than those who want the big bling and huge event.  

Post # 3
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Sunset Hills Country Club

I completely agree. You don’t work for the wedding, you work for the marriage. The wedding and ring are outward symbols of the love you share. The real life after the wedding is completely different. I believe that some people who go into marriage after have a $20,0000+ wedding and their rings cost a lot, too, expect marriage to be sunshine and butterflies. I don’t know if they’re ready to handle the storms that come up. I believe you have to go into marriage ready for everyday life.

 

Post # 4
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

drA:  I honestly think it depends on the couple. If you literally spend everything you have or go into massive debt to have a wedding then yeah, there is going to be more stress in the marriage and you may wind up facing a higher divorce rate. Same with the people who put more emphasis on the wedding or ring than the actual relationship.

I think the most important indicator (wedding-wise) to whether a marriage will last is whether the couple is on the same page regarding financial aspects of the wedding and whether they are willing to compromise. For me, it serves as an indicator of whether the couple will be able to discuss and compromise on things within a marriage as well.

Post # 6
Member
224 posts
Helper bee

I have a simple band because I’m not a jewelry person so yea but I can’t help but wonder if in general couples with more money are more likely to get divorced simply based on options. I know a couple that would be divorced I they could afford to live apart.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  lfranke.
Post # 7
Member
4641 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

TiaMP:  We spent a lot on my ring, and a lot on our wedding.. I don’t expect marriage to be ‘sunshine and butterflies’, I’m not a moron. Do you actually think that because someone has an expensive engagement ring and or wedding they’re not prepared for everyday life?

 

 

Post # 8
Member
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

eehhhhh it depends on the couple. DH and i put alot into our wedding, and it was a lovely affair with 250 guests. 

I DID NOT WANT THAT WEDDING. I wanted a small BBQ but did it for my family.  So really, although i had a huge wedding, i would fall into the small wedding category?????

So this study is bogus. 

Post # 9
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Sunset Hills Country Club

 

KC-2722:  I didn’t say all or most, I said some. And if you lived where I did and knew the people I do, you would agree. All I am saying is people need to have realisitc expectations.

Post # 10
Member
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

First, I honestly think it depends on the couple. But, I have heard that couples who go through some sort of financial stress, especially early on in their relationship are more likely to work it out. So if you can afford the big ring and the big wedding that means you probably aren’t going to deal with financial stress, at  least not early on.

Post # 11
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think it depends on the lifestyle too. If someone makes $250,000/yr and they have an expensve wedding/e-ring, they wont see “expensive” or “extravagant” the same way someone who makes $50,000/yr would. 

 

I do agree that going into debt for a ring/wedding you cant afford will most likely cause problems going forward with the marraige. 

Post # 12
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee

I really don’t believe that the two are directly related. Just becasue you have an expensive ring and wedding, it suddenly means you aren’t prepared for married life?

I do see an indirect relation though, which is money. One of the biggest reasons that couples get divorced now a days is due to finances. Big rings and big weddings cost alot of money, which im sure causes financial stress and thus adds stress to the relationship. Which then MAY lead to couples getting a divorce.

But simply based on the size of the ring and wedding? No I dont believe that this has a correlation to how long you will be married for. I actually think this is offensive to suggest for people who have big rings and have had big weddings.

Post # 13
Member
4774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I think it depends on the couple. My ring was expensive because it was custom made to include heirlooms from our deceased mothers. So it’s more sentimental than the actual cost. We are having a weddingmoon so we can spend 10k+ on a nice vacation instead of a wedding because that’s not what we want. I don’t think spending a lot on the ring or wedding just automatically means you’re doomed. If you’re spending more than your means and stuff like that, I think that’d increase the chances of divorce.

 

Of course expensive is all relative. I mean, we are young college students so my 10k ring is going to be expensive in our circle, compared to someone who might be well established and older.

Post # 14
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

This is not the first study showing that the amount of money spent on a wedding is inversely related to chances of a stable marriage. So no, it’s probably not bogus. 

The correlation itself could be explained many ways. And just because you have an expensive wedding or you spend a lot of money on an engagement ring, you are obviously not guaranteed a divorce. Consider it a general trend, though, which I think can be explained by priorities in life. If a person considers things like looks and money to be important to a marriage, they are far more likely to get a divorce. Why? Probably because that sets people up for disappointment. In life, looks fade and money comes and goes. If you build a relationship on things like that, you’re bound for some really disappointing times.

And let’s be really brutally honest right now – the chances of someone with a big rock and a fancy wedding being more into superficial things than someone with a small rock and a cheap wedding isn’t infinitely higher, but it is significantly higher.

http://www.randalolson.com/2014/10/10/what-makes-for-a-stable-marriage/

Post # 15
Member
3713 posts
Sugar bee

Nahhh!!! I had a 1/4 carat diamond ring, that my grandmother gave my fiancé to give me. (We were completing college and had no money.) It was very special to me, since it was given to her by my beloved grandfather, as her engagement ring.  My parents hosted a 225 guest, formal wedding. That was 37 years ago. 

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