Post # 1
I got engaged the last weekend of June and due to many circumstances (my teaching job, my best friends wedding, ideal honeymoon time, ideal length of engagement to allow for proper planning, etc.) We are currently looking at an exact 2-year engagement. I never envisioned having to wait two year, but on the other hand have always felt 1.5 years was perfect … I am an extreme perfectionist so I want to make sure everything is just right and I am very crafty and plan on doing everything myself so under a year just seems a bit stressful to me. At first I was upset about the 2-year engagement, and I still am at times when I want to go dive head first into all the fun stuff – but then realize its way to early to do certain things. But, all together I am looking at the upside I get to be a “bride” longer, and I get to live in a very blissful time in our lives a bit longer.
Basically, I am just so tired of everyone giving his or her opinions on our engagement length. I am tired of people saying “why are you doing that”, “don’t wait that long” or giving me a look like “oh” (which makes me feel like they are questioning our wants/desires to get married like we are holding out just incase we change our minds. I don’t know, I guess I am being irrational. I just look at it as the average engagement length is 14-16 months – I just don’t know why people act like we are waiting 10 years. Has anyone else experienced this?
Post # 3
i have not, but my sister has. she got engaged in summer 2011 and set her date for fall 2014. she gets grief from certain family members who feel the need to comment on it everytime they see each other. it bothers her that they wont let it go but we try to make light of it. she knows she is doing the right thing for her life.
Post # 4
My engagement will be 25 months and some change when we get married. I definitely get the “oh wow why so long?” questions/comments/looks when I say that, but once I explain our reasoning (which really I shouldn’t HAVE to do, but do because that reactions annoys me) they’re like oh ok that makes sense. My fiance and I are getting married in CA, but are currently living in upstate NY while he’s finishing up his MBA so planning a wedding in a year would have been crazy. We got engaged last July and this year FLEW by and right now I could NOT imagine us having our wedding this summer and am SO glad that we decided to do it next summer. I understand your annoyance!
Post # 5
We were engaged two years. Did not get any comments because we did not specify a date or start planning until the last minute. It gave people nothing to talk about.
Post # 6
We got engaged in July of 2010 and are getting married this year in October. We had tons of people asking us why we were waiting so long. We knew we wanted to get married in October but if we had chosen October 2011 we would have had to start planning immediately and we were nowhere near prepared for that. People are going to say what they’re going to say. Let it roll off your back and do what is best for you. We did what was best for us and I can’t believe we’re getting married in less than two months. If waiting for the right time is best for you then do it! It’s worth waiting til you want to do it.
Post # 7
@Cady: I think I am going to start doing that just simply “we are not sure yet, we’ll let you know when we decide”
It really is hard to not be bothered by peoples reactions but I am trying. I know this is what is best for us and it doesnt really matter what anyone else thinks of it. I am happy to hear I am not the only one struggling with this though 🙂
Post # 8
We had a 2 yr engagement too. It’s now under 1.5 years to go…but I still feel your pain. I want to start planning, crafting, trying on dresses etc and have to keep pulling back.
I find the worst offenders to the “why wait so long” crowd are those who have a preconcieved notion that money grows on trees. Financing, and saving, for a wedding is hard. And when you’re a bride on a budget the last thing you want is for your wedding to look as such. So…time to save, time to plan and time to perfect. It adds up quick, and a longer engagement is usually a result.
Frankly, I find it rude when people “tsk tsk” my longer engagement. I also get “Oh a winter wedding! That’s a great option, things are cheaper then”…which really boils my blood.
C’mon!!!! We’re having a destination wedding, 2 years is giving both us AND our guests time to accumulate finances and what better time of year to go somewhere south in the middle of winter (cheap or not!!!)
I understand your frustrations 100%!!!!
Post # 9
And yet if you said, “3 months” they’d ask if you were pregnant!
@musicalrose: I’m totally guilty of that, I’ll have to keep it in check! In my frugal mind, a winter wedding is like buying a designer dress on sale, I never realized I was being offensive I’m sure when my wedding’s over I’m going to stop thinking about things in terms of cost, but I admit that while I’m planning I hear winter or weekday and think, “Ooh I bet they’re saving money by doing that!” without realizing it comes off as, “I bet they’re doing that to save money.”
Post # 10
Touche on the pregnancy comment! Seriously, ROTFL!!
Also, don’t worry…
I’ll be the first to try and save a buck here and there. I’ve learned to kibosh most comments on both budget and time by rearranging the statement when people ask. Now I just answer:
“Well, we’re having a DW in Mexico, and are aiming for sometime in the first week in February, 2014”.
This seems to kill two birds with one well-aimed stone.
Post # 11
We had a 2 1/2 year engagement and received a lot of comments. It really upset me because all the comments came from people who had no part in planning. We wanted to wait until FI finished school and wanted to save up as much as possible.
Now, 41 days away and I STILL get people saying “oh…your wedding is still so far away!!” I got a lot of that last night at “my” bachelorette party.
When people say the wedding is sooo far away, my comeback is usually “well, you’re not the one planning and paying for it, so unless you want that job, keep your comments to yourself.”
Post # 12
@HappierKate: Haha I am totally guilty of thinking people are preggo when its a quick engagement but I DO keep those thoughts to myself!!
@musicalrose: EVERYONE I talks to says how amazing winter weddings are!!! I have never heard anyone talk about them as oh you’d save money I’ve always gotten Oh winter weddings are so pretty!!! (mind you they say this after I tell them I am going to have a summer wedding) I guess you cant win!
Sorry I had to edit this bottom part out I am not one to be snarky or say things I wouldnt feel comfortable saying to someones face and I feel that I did that here :/ I just wanted a long engagement so that I could take the time to plan things out the way I want – rather than rush through the planning and risk having things look as though they were thrown together last minute.
Post # 13
I am a teacher as well so it leaves a small window of time for a wedding. Also, I have many close friends who are getting married next summer (2013) and I don’t want to work around their wedding dates. I just got engaged this summer and we are not planning on getting married until the summer of 2014. It is amazing the opinions people have about this! The day I got engaged people asked if we had a wedding date set or in mind. I completely agree – it is your wedding and your decision 🙂 Plus – who wants to rush an engagement? It is such an exciting time. I too want to carefully plan every detail.
Post # 14
FI and my mom pushed me for a sooner wedding. I originally wanted to get married April 2014. FI wanted to get married this year :(. We didn’t have the funds in line yet to have a wedding this soon but now we are going for broke because this is what they wanted 🙁 I have had to learn to compromise and realize this is not turning into my dream wedding at all but I’m dealing with it.
Post # 15
our engagement total is 23 months, i sometimes feel the same and get the same reaction but it gives us more time to save and find better deals ect
Post # 16
@Runnergirl47: This is EXACTLY why we are waiting also!! — I do NOT want to have a honeymoon months after my wedding (some people may not care and all the better to you then! – because if I didnt care then maybe I could have my dream spring wedding!) SO that kind of only leaves a summer wedding. I was ready to jump into planning right away and plus my best friend just got engaged 2 months before me and is planning an early fall 2013 wedding. Getting married in the late summer (due to the time my school is letting out next year) would take some away some of the attention of her big day and ultimately mine as well – & I know a lot of people disagree with that but I am glad someone else feels the same!
@lindseyl06: I am sorry to hear that :/ But I am sure no matter what happens your wedding will be amazing! After all, at the end of the day you’ll be married to your man 🙂 Also, I am jealous of your date. My only other month I picked was November (because of thanksgiving break we could do a honeymoon then) but once again whole thing with my best friends wedding. Kind of a bum too because both my parents and his parents were married in November. But that’s ok June holds meaning to us (we started dating and got engaged in June so it fits!) — my mom was on board with the 2 year engagement my FI wasnt excited but was so sweet about it he wanted whatever I wanted and when I was worried about telling people it was my decision he said “its OUR decision to wait, its OUR wedding and that is all they need to know”