- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
So I hesitated sharing this for awhile, but I feel like talking about it may reduce the sting a bit.
For some backstory, you’re welcome to see this thread from a few months ago (http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/beyond-frustrated-in-law-family-drama#axzz2eK7DsVkj)
We were e-mailed a letter from my MIL to detail all the reasons why she’s mad at us.
The highlights from the four-page letter:
Our Wedding (4 years ago)
- We didn’t involve her enough in the planning (we invited her to multiple things — bridal shows, cake tasting, catering appointments, etc. She would initially say she was coming, then 24 hours before abruptly cancel without explanation. Or just fail to show up at all).
- My mother is a witch for trying to accommodate her schedule into the planning of my bridal shower. She’s mad my mother called her to see if she would be able to attend, since her brother’s birthday party was scheduled for the day before. She claims to have called the venue and it was available for the following weekend (Sidenote: It wasn’t, and the venue notified my mother and bridesmaids that some random woman was calling to inquire about it).
- There weren’t enough pictures of my husband’s two half-brothers taken by our photographer.
- The photo we had enlarged and framed for her is “blurry” and “clearly printed at home by our printer.” (I ordered it online and had it matted and framed. It wasn’t printed at home).
- She hasn’t seen enough photos from our wedding (She’s seen our wedding album and I posted all of the wedding photos online. She has seen them).
Her visit to our home (We live 5 hours away. In the 4+ years we’ve lived here, she visited once):
- We didn’t offer to cover her meal and his two half-brothers’ meals when we went out to eat at a cheap spaghetti restaurant (meals there are approximately 8-12 dollars/plate).
- We didn’t cover her cost for parking when we suggested we visit the restaurant.
- We told the kids about a horse and carriage ride that would be fun to tour downtown. She had to pay for it ($20).
- She purchased takeout pizza for $40 the following night. Apparently, we had frozen pizza in the freezer, which she “discovered” while getting some ice. She’s pissed that we didn’t offer to bake the pizza instead of ordering takeout (this was 4 years ago, but we’re assuming that maybe we did have cheap frozen pizzas in there and forgot we had them. Sorry??)
- She and my husband’s two half-brothers stayed in our townhouse for the weekend (perfectly fine with us to save them the cost of a hotel room). They came in on a Friday and planned to stay through Monday. We thought they were leaving Monday morning; we both left for work Monday morning and told them we would leave a spare key so they could take their take getting ready to leave, then just drop the key through the mail slot. She’s angry we didn’t take Monday off work (we didn’t know she planned to stay past the morning) and the key situation made her stay “very uncomfortable.”
- We spend entirely too much time with my family when we’re in town. (For Christmas last year, my husband couldn’t leave town due to work, so I traveled to our hometown and split my time on Christmas day equally between his family and my family. For Thanksgiving, we split time between both families. We have no idea where she’s coming up with this idea).
It has now been three months since we’ve heard from anyone. My husband’s high school reunion is coming up later in the month, and he’s now considering not going because he doesn’t want to be in the same city as his family. I’m just concerned how we’re possibly going to navigate future visits to see my family (they all live in the same small town), without another huge blow-up and meltdown from his family.
Ugh. Advice, anyone?