Post # 1
We dont have a ton of money. We made the wedding on a friday to cut cost. We are planning about 60 people. Now, suddenly I’m getting grief from my mother about the people we plan to invite. She is retired and can’t afford any support. Today she got all mad at me because I didn’t want to invite my sister’s high school best friend and her husband who has just reconnected with my sister. Now of course this is the nightmare sister that is making my wedding planning hell and i am about to de-MOH her if she doesn’t make some big changes in her attitude. My mom keeps say Trish (the friend) and her husband are doctors, they will cover their plates. This is insane. If we had the money, I would be invited more of my friends and family that were cut from the list not my sisters highs school friend that I might have talked to for 10 minutes once 30 year ago.
oh, and the facebook family members publicly announcing on my wall that they are expecting invites….how do you deal with that?
Post # 3
Ugh. About your mom, I would flat out say that you don’t feel right adding people on the list you’re not even close to when you have good friends you really wish could come who you couldn’t afford to invite, and they are the ones who would be invited if you could stretch the list any further.
I’ve flat out ignored those FB posts – actually just got one in message form this morning. She isn’t on my or FI’s friends list, he doesn’t even know who she is, apparantely some distant relative on his moms’ side since she is a mutual friend on FB. If you don’t know them just ignore. If you do and would feel bad ignoring, say that you’re very excited for the wedding but unfortunately had to keep the guest list small since your budget is very tight.
Post # 4
I know how that is, unfortunately you just have to make a solid NO and change the subject. I don’t understand why people, especially family, want to make specticals of our weddings. Delete the comments from people demanding invites, that is what I did. It is just flat rude to invite yourself to anything, and I don’t tolerate bad manners well, esp of FB.
Post # 5
@MrsTimmy: It actually Seems like your mom is thinking about your best interest; “My mom keeps say Trish (the friend) and her husband are doctors, they will cover their plates”. My mom has told me not to invite certain family members because she knows that they have a history of attending weddings and not giving gifts, not even a card. As for your relatives on FB, be honest, tell them you’re having an intimate wedding and although you’d love for them to be able to share in this joyous occasion with you, you simply cant afford it, If they love you I’m sure they’ll understand. Good luck
Post # 6
@tksjewelry: oooh, and I said to my Mom, why on earth would I be inviting Trish. She said “Trish asked if you could invite her, she would like to see everyone again”……so WTF my wedding is her reunion for her old friends? I know she was friends with my sister and my cousin, but really who else? Great Idea…I will get married so Trish can catch up on old times.
Post # 7
@nicfran6: Actually, gifts are the last thing on my mind. Getting married for the first time at 47, I dont need gifts. For me its all about the celebration. Which makes it bug me even more. I don’t care if they paid for ten plates, I hardly know them.
Post # 8
@MrsTimmy: It’s good you are older then. You have a firmer foundation to say “no” to people’s requests than say a 24 yo who is depending on her mother to pay for stuff.
Stand your ground and repead ad nasuem “We are having a small wedding, family only”
Post # 9
I would gently & lovingly remind her this day is about YOU and your fiance and ONLY you and your fiance.