Post # 1
So this is a little bit of a weird situation, but the bee’s always give me great advice so here it is.
After Darling Husband and I got married we went through a very rough patch and ended up seperating in September. At the time things were so bad we thought that was it, so I signed a lease for 12 months with a roommate. However, we have been going to counselling and working on our relationship. Things are actually really good with us now which is wonderful- we are ready to be back living together as husband and wife.
DH’s roommate moves out in March and that is when Darling Husband wants me to move back in. I want to move back home so bad (even though I have spent every night there for the past month) but I am really feeling guilty about leaving my roommate. We signed a 12 month lease on our property and I am more than happy to continue paying my share until I find someone to take over my room but I still feel so awful!
I didn’t know her before I moved in and she is a really lovely girl.. but I don’t want to stay seperated from my husband until the end of 2012- I feel like a nomad always living out of a suitcase!
What do I do in this situation? I paid 1/2 the bond ($900) which I am willing to walk away from and am also going to give her my fridge. I won’t leave until we find someone to pay my share of the rent… what do I say to her?
I feel so bad! 🙁
Post # 3
I think as long as you aren’t stiffing her with the rent, it’s not a big deal. Just explain that you are moving back in with your husband and will be looking for someone to take over the lease. I would just give herr some say on who moves in to make sure she’s ok with living with them for several months.
Post # 4
There’s nothing for you to feel bad about! Your relationship with your husband comes first. And, if she’s been privy to any of the details of your situation, will likely be more than happy to learn of your reconciliation. You aren’t leaving her high and dry – you are paying the bills and continuing to contribute to the obligations of your lease. Is there some other reason that would cause you to feel bad?
Post # 5
Honestly, I think you’re being very reasonable about the situation. I know some people that would just walk away and say, “Too bad, so sad.” I say, sit down and talk to her about it, telling her everything you told us. Honestly, as long as you’re still paying your portion of the rent until it can be taken over by someone (and honestly, I would let her have a say in who the new roomie is), I think she’ll be understanding. Besides, that means she gets her own place for a little while without it costing her more.
Post # 6
dont feel bad! its great you are ready to live with your husband again. i would talk to your roomate about it now and get the ball in motion for march. explain to her what you have explained to us and i am sure she will understand. i will agree with PP about letting her have imput into who moves in. she may have a frined needing a place by that time? i tihnk as long as you dont just up and bail on her leaving her with the full ammount of rent due you should be fine. its actually pretty common for people to take over another persons lease so that should not be an issue. just because you are moving out also doesnt mean you cant still be friends!
Post # 7
I don’t know why I feel so bad.. I mean, before I took over her old lease she had gone through three roommates! She is just so sweet and we get along great.
I feel so blessed to have met her because she is so bubbly and sweet, after Darling Husband and I seperated just being around her positivity made me feel ok about everything..
I am so excited to be moving home though! The spare room I am turning into my own special space with my computer, my makeup, my shoes etc and Darling Husband and I are going to keep our money seperate (this was a big friction point for us)
I feel like its a fresh start 🙂
Post # 8
I agree with the PP – as long as you can find someone to sublet, your situation is really understandable. I mean, you are moving in with your husband, it’s not like you were looking for some different and random place to live. As long as she isn’t financially responsible and finds a roomate she can tolerate, I don’t see the problem.
Post # 9
It sounds like she will be more than understanding and likely continue to be a friend and support! I would commuicate with her how much you’ve appreciated her both as a roommate and friend, as you tell her of your decision to move back in with Darling Husband. Good luck to you both as you continue to work on your relationship! It IS exciting and wonderful!
Post # 10
I agree with pp, nothing wrong with you moving into Darling Husband place again right now as long as you continue to pay on your apt! And congrats on working things out!