Weddingbee boards

Ok.  I do know of a doctor who is married.  And he's been a guy who's had to purchase five engagement rings so far, all for different women.  He's been married quite a few times.

I also know of a friend of my mom's who is marrying for her sixth time.

The doc had a quiet wedding away but my mom's friend is getting married in the church hall.  My mom wasn't terribly excited to say the least at her friend getting married yet again. 

Without stepping on any toes, I know the reason my mom wasn't happy was b/c the woman had divorced 3 months earlier and was suddenly remarrying in my mom's church.  My mom's words were:  "This is a little soon and could raise an eyebrow".

I had to agree somewhat.  I look at my grandparents who have been married 70 years and then look at myself.  I divorced and am sad it had to happen.  But what can you do when your husband cannot honor a vow?  You can't be married and have one half of the marriage faithful.

How would you feel attending a wedding if you thought the person was not really able to fulfill a lifetime committment to their partner? 

I look at the doctor I know and my mom's friend and would say both kinda fall into that category.  When life gets hairy or the newness wears off in a few years, they are off to find that "falling in love again" feeling.  We were all kinda good with things until they hit say the fourth time or so.  It's getting a bit much now.  I know I bought my doc friend a gift card and am not getting one to the bride and friend of my mom's. 

I think for me it's not the number of times a person has been married, it's the intent to commit.  And neither of these people have the intent to commit for a lifetime.  You? 

I am an encore bride.  I openly recognize my marriage did not last and it never would go down in the record books like my grandparents' marriage will (although my wedding was amazingly gorgeous).  But I know my wedding to T next summer is one for the record books and we'll be together as long as life allows us.  We have 100 percent the intent to commit for life and won't ever consider the "D" word no matter what lemons life throws at us.

What are your thoughts?  Do you know couples who have married who didn't simply have the "intent to commit"?  Or married because the bride just wanted to have her big day or the guy wanted to get married because he thought he wanted to settle down and have kids?

How serious are you about "till death do you part"?  I can say we're 100 percent serious on this one as the only way we're getting out is to check out!!lol!  I just know that after what I once went thru, I wouldn't even consider remarriage unless I knew that my partner was equal in that intent to commit for life.

I agree with both of you very much.  And I hated to even call the guy I know who is a doctor a doctor b/c it's definitely not representative of his profession as the majority of them I know have been good guys and women and can attest my bil is a faithful and loving H of almost 19 years!

It's my hope that people will see the value of the intent to commit very very seriously.  And yes, in Hollywood it would seem that some people marry for the press of it and on impulse.  I sure hope that is not the real situation at hand, but it would seem so.  There are some exceptions...I think of Patrick Swayze and Lisa Neimi.  Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward my other favorite encore couple, Ronald and Nancy Regan.  They were in it for life. 

I know when I married my former h I was 100 percent in it for life and it shocked me when I found out he obviously couldn't achieve the goal I believed was "ours".  But I know that now T and I are re-writing our life histories.  And you know what?  It's good.  Real good :)   

Exactly Eloping.

My counselor from the church when I was in counseling with my ex before I filed, said that "Our country has become like a McDonald's drive thru.  You want it now, you get it now.  If you don't get what you want, you get it now but somewhere else."  He told my ex that b/c we had a small child (then) that b/c I wasn't paying as much attention to him as before, that he had no right to "hit another drive thru".  Seriously.  That's what he said.  He compared a good marriage to a "beautifully prepared Sunday dinner which takes time and effort and is made  out of love" as opposed to instant gratification fast food at a drive thru. I haven't thought of that in ages until you brought it up. 

He was one of our assistant ministers at church but I think he summed up alot of the way some people feel today and I want that to NOT be the norm.

I believe there are some out there (and tons of them here and so happy) that the "intent to commit" is a very strong motivator and they are totally committed to their marriages.  You're not just getting a new last name and a shiny diamond, you're creating a little family of two..and maybe more.