Post # 1
I’m 4 monhts out and at this point, I’d have to say without a doubt is the lack of response from vendors or people I need information/pricing from. I feel like people are either down my throat, leaving me voicemails every damn day, or the ones I want NEVER GET BACK TO ME. A lot of things are contingent on each other and it’s a domino effect of sh!t. For instance, I’ve been trying to get pricing for room blocks from this one hotel b/c I need to print my invitations and set up shuttle services. NO ONE IS GETTING BACK TO ME. Normally, I’d just say F it and move on, but it’s the move convenient hotel in the area and I’m assuming the prices will be reasonable.
Meanwhile, I have vendors I inquired with that I’m NOT interested in calling me 16 times a day offering to send me contracts and sh!t I do not need!!!
So bees, how far out are you and what has been your biggest challenge in planning?
Post # 2
I’m just less than a year out, and mostly frustrated that I have become the Keeper of the Budget. When we started planning, I really thought FI and I would do it together, but he’s really not keen on being proactive about anything wedding-related. I think he would just rather not, or he would rather do one thing/make one decision and then not do anything wedding-related for a while.
While we do still have a year until we’re married we kind of have to get on this, which he doesn’t REALLY get. This have to get on this thing can be illustrated by the fact that our first-choice photographer was already booked when we contacted her.
FI has really rich tastes, so while he’ll say, “Yeah, I’m good with sticking to a $14,000 budget,” he’ll then want an over-priced $1300 plain 18K gold wedding band (having looked around, I know lots of the money is just for the brand). Also, I actually laughed when I told him what the budget would be for bridal party gifts (since I could see this being an issue when he set his sights on some ridiculously expensive humidor for every guy, or some such) and he responded with “for each person?”
No. Total. I am turning into the budget dragon. STOP TRYING TO MAKE EXPENSIVE HAPPEN. It’s not going to happen. He sure is cute, though, so it’ll probably happen just because I’ll give in to his adorableness.
Post # 3
everridiculous: My FI is the complete opposite. He’s been SUCH a miser about everything. Actual words from his mouth: “Well, we don’t even have to do favors” or “I don’t have to get them anything” (his groomsmen). I’m all for cutting corners, but when I suggested buying a bunch of flip flops for ladies to change into since our venue is a barn he says, “They should know to wear appropriate foot wear, why is that our problem?” Ooooo he’s being a REEEEAL bitch!!!
Post # 4
Nothing bothered me until the last 1-2 weeks. Everyone kept calling adding people, saying they’d be there after dinner, people asking where their invite was that weren’t invited, 100 ppl not RSVP, wouldn’t respond until literally the week of. It was a stressful week, espically since I started grad school that week, the other 19 months of planning were a walk in the park lol
Post # 5
I won’t go into my extensive list for fear of being laballed a “bridezilla” but so far
1) The FI wants to DIY everything (he thinks we’ll magically have a free wedding by doing so).. he would make the tables and chairs if we could (not gonna happen)
2) The FI wanting to cut everything decor related, while wanting to spend 25% of our budget on alcohol grrrr!
2) Family complaining about my no kids at the reception bit (even though we’ve offered to hire a babysitter at our cost)
I’m about 11 months out lol
Post # 6
MeandMyLouboutins: I wish we could have a no kids reception lol. His family would be FURIOUS and he nixed that idea right away….so now we have a sh!t ton of kids and babies. In my mind it was more of a waste of money than anything having to add kids to the “per person” price haha
Post # 7
I’m still a little less than 11 months out, so I have no reason to completely bang my head against the wall yet. However, the most annoying part is that I’m expected to make and/or sign off on all decisions. FI offers help at all steps, but making decisions is exhausting.
I feel like I’m trucking along. I have the venues (reception has in house catering and alcohol), photog, engagement pics scheduled, dress appt next week, and have some emails out to potential djs. I can’t really do much else besides that at this point. For the past two weeks I’ve enjoyed being able to look at wedding stuff without having to take any actions (aka pinterest until my heart’s content).
Post # 8
We’re down to five weeks and I’m frustrated that I am the keeper of the To Do List, and it seems that for every item I cross off two get added. My FI is pretty good about doing something once I bring up to him that it has to be done, but if I didn’t bring it up and tie the task into a neat little bundle I don’t think it would be done until the last minute.
Post # 9
kortizi0: I have tons of nephews and nieces and my FI has a few. Family members are upset but at the same time they wouldn’t pay 100 per plate for their kids to eat so why should I!? It just makes no sense lol
Post # 10
By far the most irritating thing I have encountered is vendors who refuse to make their fees transparent. Its such a time and energy drain! I would have preferred to know that you charge 4 grand for 4 hours of work before I fell in love with your pictures or if I knew baked chicken is worth $85 a plate in your book I would have moved on to the next caterer. I’ve even called several vendors to ask about pricing for them to say “Just take a look at my website.” “Are there prices on your website? I didn’t see them.” “Well…no.”
It just comes off as incredibly dishonest. How do I know one bride isn’t paying half of what I paid just because you prefer working in the morning? Your sales pitch isn’t going to change my mind if you’re way out of budget. I’ve made it a point to try to only work with vendors who are upfront and honest about wha it costs to do business with them.
Post # 11
BurlapnLace: I am 10 (!!!) days away. This is what has annoyed me so far:
-I agree w/ppl not getting back to you. A month out, I contacted all vendors to set up final meetings. I sent my photog two emails with no response. Finally, I gave in and called, he answered on the first ring and then was like, “Oh I guess I missed your emails!” with NO apology or anything. He is kind of a quack, and we had our final meeting with him which was totally fine, and I think he’ll do a great job. But SO frustrating.
-We had a friend of FI’s text him this week asking if his wife can come after all. He had RSVP’ed no for her due to prior commitments but they found out she could come, and he asked. I understand that he wanted her to come along, BUT then I had to contact the venue that we already gave our numbers to AND paid for. Now we have to send an extra check for this one woman which was more annoying than I thought it would be…. (I don’t know the couple so I think thats why it’s extra annoying to me, lol).
-People not RSVP-ing. I had about 5-6 people not respond at all. Ignored phone calls/emails. So I just counted them as no’s. If they do show up (which I doubt), I have no idea where they are going to sit!
-All the last minute details are driving me nuts!
Post # 12
renwoman: My FI and I started using this list app called Wunderlist and it’s been amazing – might want to give it a shot! We originally started using for keeping our shopping lists (Costco, Target, Safeway, etc.), but then we started using it for the wedding and it’s been a HUGE help! It allows you to create shared lists and everyone can add, edit and check off items. Highly recommend!
Post # 13
I feel badly, but a girl I work with just got engaged a couple weeks ago. I talked to her recently and she was like, “Ugh, I know, I’m so stressed”. Girl…no. I mean, I’m feeling it 4 mos out but it only stands to get worse!!
I had to get in my car and drive an hour to a hotel hear our reception space and demanded to speak to someone b/c for 2 weeks I was getting the run around. I raised 9 kinds of hell while I was there b/c I have HAD IT. Do you want my business or not!?? Why am I having to chase people down for WEEKS to get an answer! And what sucks is I am limited with my hotel and transport options since my location is a bit remote.
Post # 14
I think my most stressfull annoying part of planning has been the guest list. We have a pretty large venue, it can hold up to 550 people. The owner of the venue did tell us that if we get to that many people, we won’t be able to have all round tables and may have to incorporate some rectangular (which I’m really not a fan of at all, petty I know, but no). FI has family growing on trees and under rocks and our guest list is up to 536 and growing. The kicker of the stupid list is that 60 of those are mine and that’s including my parents. So I’m planning this massive shindig for 400 people I don’t even know.
Unfortunately for me, that’s his culture and I gotta embrace it and enjoy the ride….
We are finalizing the damn list tomorrow, crossing my fingers we can actually cross some people out. Otherwise I may loose it a bit
Post # 15
BurlapnLace: My biggest frustration is that we’re still 8 months out. I am so ready to be married! I could get married tomorrow. Most of it is done. And the things that aren’t done are just bonus (except the marriage certificate, obviously. We can’t do that til January.)
Ask me again in 4 months. I’m sure with the holidays and then the wedding I’ll be fit to be tied!