Post # 1
I have been married for 3 months now and still haven’t decided if I am going to change my name or not. I really don’t know what to do. In the beginning I swore I was going to keep my name, it was part of my identity and I really wasn’t ready to give up that part of me yet. As the months passed during the engagement I started warming up to the idea of taking his name and I was seeing it as starting a new journey and new name seemed fitting. One problem (well not really a problem) is that my name will rhyme if I take his name which i am not thrilled about at all. So then came in the thought of hyphenating, the best of both worlds I figured but now I don’t know if I am making too much out of this whole name change rhyming issue. I was never going to legally change my name until after our trip to Europe this Spring so I still have time to figure this out.
Was the decision to change your name an easy one?
Post # 3
I had zero qualms beforehand about changing my name. Like, none, I was super excited to change it. But then I started actually doing it, my initials changed for stuff at work, I received my new social security card and started signing my last name, and it was HARD. I mean, I was going through emotions I never expected to have. It was hard to let go, and a real mindscrew at times.
But, I am getting more comfortable and I am happy I made the decision.
Now…unless your name is Julia Goolia 🙂 I’ve seen rhyming names and I don’t think they sound bad at all, they are often catchy. The hypehanting sounds like a good compromise if it really bothers you, though.
Post # 4
It was easy for me. There was no question in my mind that I would change to his last name. I’ve always wanted one family name so it’s easier for us as a couple and so that our future children share the same name as both of us. Plus, I love simply having the same name as my husband!
Post # 5
The decision itself was pretty easy for me. I think I’ve always known I would keep my name, and the only way I would consider changing anything is if the person I was marrying was doing the same thing (i.e. BOTH hyphenating or both taking a new name entirely).
What has been a little harder is dealing with the fact that I know he would like me to take his name and I’m choosing not to do something that would make someone I love very much very happy. (then again, I would prefer him to take my name and he’s not going to, so he’s doing the same thing)
Post # 6
I absolutely love my last name. I think it fits perfectly with my first, but I am going to change it to my fiance’s last name. I’ve considered hyphenating mine as well, but it’d just be a long awkward name.
Post # 7
I debated on hypenating or keeping my maiden for a long time. Until one day my hubby told me he didn’t like hypenation and thought i didn’t seem like i wanted to change my last name and how it was fine with him. so thats how we came to my keeping my maiden name.
i agree also that rhyming isn’t necessarily a bad thing. also if you have a middle name that might break it up.
Post # 8
My last name is hyphenated. Our kids have both of our last names, hyphenated, as well. We decided on giving our kids both our last names since we weren’t married when we had them. Our youngest (born after we were married) has both our last names as well.
Post # 9
@deetroitwhat: I had this exact experience. I went from the name change being a non-issue, to crying every day for a week after I did change it. It was strange how overwhelming it felt after I changed it.
I’m used to it now, and don’t feel the need to change it back like I did for the first few weeks, but I’m not going to lie..sometimes I wish it was hyphenated. And this from a girl who really didn’t care about changing her name and who said would never hyphenate because it was just too long. 🙂
I think if you’re not fully committed, maybe wait a little while longer and see if your feelings change.
Post # 10
I’m almost at the the three month mark too and I still have not changed mine. I want to, but I’m not looking forward to the hassle and time it will take to do so. I’m changing from a very generic name to a very unique name. I’ve always wanted to change my name, but it’s a doozie of a change for me. I like the idea of being Mrs. husbandslastname though, so I’m taking the good with the bad.
Post # 11
@deetroitwhat:@pinky44: Same here! I was even kind of exited about it beforehand and was never totally wild about my last name but changing it was hard. I’m a teacher so I hear both names frequently and sign my name all the time. My old name was so easy to write and was unique. Now when I google search myself I’m hard to find : ( I wouldn’t change it though…I want us to have the same last name.
The hassle has been quite annoying. Changing my Social Security Card was much easier and quicker than I expected, but my license has been held up for almost 2 months now because CA is switching over to new cards. My passport just expired as of 1/1 and I have my old ID with a hole-punch in it. I can’t go to the bank or anywhere else yet because I don’t have proper ID. This limbo zone sucks.
Post # 12
I changed my name… I didn’t want to, because I was so attached to my maiden name and felt like I was losing my identity. But on the other hand, I wanted to, so that I could be a family with my husband and so that our future children would have the same last name as both of us.
The first 6-8 months of marriage were the hardest. I didn’t start the name change for about 6 months after I got married. After about a full year, I got used to the idea of a new last name, and use it all the time. I don’t feel like I’ve lost my identity- although I did change my middle name to my maiden (so it’s FirstName MaidenAsMiddle Husband’sLastName).
My point is that it might take some time to get used to the idea of your new last name. And I’ve talked to a lot of my friends about it, and although there are plenty that are excited to change their names, there are just as many who aren’t so excited about it!
Post # 13
@JaneyD:/@pinky44: Glad there are others out there. I don’t know, it was almost depressing! I just had to keep telling myself that I was still the same person with the same unique qualaties and my name change was not taking that from me! The hyphenation didn’t cross my mind however and when the Christmas cards started coming in saying Mr. and Mrs. xxxxxxxx, I cheered up 🙂
Post # 14
I deliberated because I was so attached to my name, but changed it all together (not even moving it to my middle as I thought) the day I returned from the honeymoon in the throes of excitement over my “Mrs.” status. Then I spent a year mourning it and continuing to go by my maiden at both work and school, only being my married name on our mail and accounts! Then a new boss insisted my name at work match my license so I made the real switch, everywhere. Honestly I am still not over the fact that I didn’t at least leave it in as my middle. However, I have gotten so much more used to my married name and actually really like it. At the end of the day, I’m glad I changed it. (But I still love seeing my high school guy friends who call me by my maiden as a nickname!)
Post # 15
I have also struggled with this a little bit. I’ve been married for about 2 months but because we have flights booked under my maiden name, I haven’t changed it yet. I’m planning to start the process in February. I’m attached to my last name because there is nobody to carry it on in my family. All of my cousins that currently share my last name are girls so once we all get married, the name will be out of our family.
I’ve decided to change my maiden name to part of my middle name so I can keep it as part of me and may choose to give my children two middle names so they can have my last name as part of their name as well. So I will be a four-name person once I go through the process and I’m OK with that. Socially I’ll just be Mrs. Martygal, but legally I’ll still have my maiden name within my name.
Post # 16
It was only easy because I always knew that I was going to change my last name no matter who I married. However, I dont like my new last name (Its not as nice of a last name as my maiden nor does it fit as well with my first name) so getting used to it has been an adjustment!