Post # 1
To all the “ladies in waiting…”
I’m curious if there are any ladies out there who are planning on keeping their maiden name and going the non-traditional route? Hyphenated names? Using your maiden name as middle name? I’m a new “lady in waiting” and I am curious if I am the only one considering not taking his name or looking at other options…
FIRST NAME MIDDLE NAME MY LAST NAME
FIRST NAME MAIDEN NAME HIS LAST NAME
FIRST NAME MIDDLE NAME MAIDEN NAME – HIS NAME
Being a non-traditional SO, I don’t think it would be an issue for him, but I have never mentioned it to him either and don’t want to hurt feelings if it seems wacky. I am going on 28, and I figure after being together for over 3 years and sharing our lives together, part of me wonders why I need to change my name? Are there reasons/benefits for taking his name that I don’t know other than the tradition?
I haven’t made a decision yet, but I’m open to suggestions! This may not come into play for quite some time, but I’d like to be prepared in case we become engaged and his family makes assumptions that I’d take on their name.
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016
I really want to take his last name because it sounds nice with mine and its easy to spell and simple (: It’s just always made me happy to think of my first name with his last name. That being said I’m pretty attached to my last name now so I might add it in as a second middle name.
Post # 4
@butterflylove: I have been thinking about this myself! I’m a Graphic Artist and have built a Freelance business based on my name (website, email address, etc in my first and maiden names) and I’m wondering if I should legally keep my maiden name but socially be called Mrs. HisName or move my Maiden name to my Middle Name and add his last name… idk lol I still have a bit of time to decide lol
Post # 6
I am in the process of taking his last name..
Post # 7
I’m going to ask him how he feels about taking my last name.
His last name is his mother’s maiden name and he is not at all close with his family. His very small and not close family even lives in a different country. My last name is my father’s last name and we are both very close with my dad.
Also, his last name sounds terrible with me name (even he thinks so) but mine sounds good with his name.
We’ll see. I haven’t made a decision that I wouldn’t take his last name, but I am going to ask how he’d feel about taking mine. We are pretty non-traditional as well, but I really like the idea of us having the same last name.
Post # 8
Im taking his last name and keeping my maiden name as a middle name. Im not really attached to my middle name at all 🙂
Post # 9
I’ve been waiting to ditch my last name my whole life, so I couldn’t be happier to take his. I will finally share a name with my son, which means a lot to me. The only part of my last name that I like is my initial, but his last name starts with a B too, so I don’t need to worry about that 🙂
Post # 10
I was an older bride with an established professional history and was well known in my field by Myfirstname, Mymiddleinitial, and Mylastname, so I didn’t want to completely abandon my maiden name or my middle initial. I did not want to hyphenate our names, because I did not like the thought of having to be “Ms Mylastname-Hislastname,” because I truly wanted to be MRS. Hislastname. Ideally, I wanted to keep my middle name — just so I could hold onto that very comfortable middle initial — and just take my maiden name as a second middle name. However, the state in which I was living and was married no longer permitted that, and when I spoke to a friend who had tried to do this and heard about the complete mess this created for her (not to mention the fact that I no longer would have had just three initials or an easy monogram), I did not want to attempt to go that route.
Since the formal, traditional manner for women to change their name is to be Firstname Maidenname Hislastname, I decided to just go ahead and drop my middle name/initial and become Myfirstname Mymaidenname Hislastname. It was the BEST decision I could have made, and I have been SOOO happy with my decision. This turned out to be especially helpful as I was going through the name-changing process while moving to a new state, having my mail forwarded, etc.
By the way, for those brides-to-be who never use their given first names but who instead are known by their middle names, I know of someone who dropped her given first name (which she had never liked or used) and became Hermiddle name, Hermaidenname, Hislastname.
Whatever you decide, I wish you a beautiful wedding a wonderful marriage!
Post # 11
We had this debate a few months ago…. I jokingly said I was going to keep my maiden name and not change and he joked back … if you want the other half of that engagment ring you have to change your name lol.
I REALLY want to keep my maiden name as my middle name, it has some awesome history tied to it…but i think it may be really long when I’m signing things but after reading Brielle’s post I may just do that, since it was so easy.
Post # 12
I’m trying to convince Mr. PB that we should combine our names into a new name and both take that – not a hyphenation, but an actual new name that incorporates something from each of ours. My #1 priority is that we have a family name, but I like the idea of it being OURS, not mine or his. I’m not super attached to my last name but it still feels weird to give it up without him doing the same.
Also he has a very unusual name that would be a lot more difficult to deal with coming from my fairly common name 🙂
Post # 13
It feels weird to me to take a new name. If it was really important to the SO I’d consider it seriously, but there’s that part of my brain that just says, “but that’s not my name!”
And to think of changing my name on diplomas, personal docs and my license just feels overwhelming. SO seems to think you don’t have to get new diplomas, but I know plenty of places require a copy of your diploma for hiring.
Post # 14
I’m not changing my name. I don’t have a professional history built around my name, but I do know that I don’t want to change it. It’s not “me” and it doesn’t feel right to me. Also, he has an unmarried sister with the same first name as mine. It would be really confusing to have two of us with the same first and last name.
Post # 15
I will take his last name because I am traditional like that. Even though I really don’t like the way it goes with my name! I am white, he is Asian with quite an obviously Asian name. I just think it might be a little weird. I haven’t decided though whether or not I will go through the whole legal thing and get it changed everywhere, or just keep my name legally for ease but use his name for everything informal and just day to day stuff. I don’t know which would be harder!
Post # 16
haha, I’m with KittenB in that I’ve been waiting forever to get an easy-to-pronounce last name. In school, I could always tell when the teacher got to my name in the roll call because there was this l-o-o-o-ong pause. No more of this eastern European consonant-y craziness!