The No Infants Policy drama

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You’re not wrong. And a four-month-old can certainly be watched by someone else for the length of the wedding. Heck, I had many children at my wedding, and my cousin who’d just had a baby only one month (and one day!) before left her kid with another family member to come to my wedding, which was the first event that she’d been to since the birth. Some people are crazy when it comes to their kids and it sounds like your cousin may be one of them.

Post # 4
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

My 4 mo old niece was at our (mostly) child free wedding, and I didn’t even know it until the reception.  Typically, exceptions can be made for breastfeeding infants.  Also, my SIL had the good sense to step out during the ceremony so as to avoid any potential disruptions. 

Post # 6
Member
939 posts
Busy bee

@Miss Moxy:  I think it’s fine, but you also shouldn’t be suprised/offended that they decided not to attend, I know I some people dont feel comfortable being away from their child for several hours at that age. I don’t think that makes them crazy or weird. I also doubt they just wanted to come to show off baby, it probably just seemed like a good time since everyone would be in the same place. I would just try to not stress about it too much, it doesn’t seem like your cousin was too bent out of shape about it, so that’s good.

Post # 7
Member
1548 posts
Bumble bee

@Miss Moxy:

 

 

 

When I am around a child who is crying I get anxious. And even if the mother leaves with the baby, I am watching as they leave just to make sure they are going far enough away from me or if I’ll have to be the one to distance myself. I don’t think my cousin and his wife would have the sense to sit in the back so they can leave if something went wrong. They always sit near my father’s family….they are all glued at the hip.

 

 

 

reading ur post and replies it appears u r being a lil insensitive. forgive me if my judgment if it is too harsh (im just basing it off of wat i read). it seems as though u r nt a fan of children which is certainly okay. But u cannot surprised that ppl r offended. Honestly 4 month olds r vry quiet as they sleep a lot and quick to calm down as all they need is a bottle or pacifier than BOOM they r out like a light. as far as childcare goes leaving a 4 month old with a sitter isnt something many women would b comfortable with especially if ur breastfeedingI do understand ur feelings on the subject which u r 100% entitled to and are justified but dnt feel a WAY wen ppl with children decline.

 

Post # 8
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would not have left my 4 month old for a wedding. I am just now willing to do so (my little guy is 8 months)–partly because he won’t take a bottle, partly because a wedding is LONG and  I would spend the whole time anxious about him/if he was ok (I would and did do shorter times–2 to 3 hours–at that age, but not for a whole wedding.) 

I’ve said it before: If it’s okay to have no-children weddings (and it is) for any reason the bride and groom choose (because they don’t want to be judged for their reasons), then it has to be okay for ANYONE to RSVP no because of it. 

Post # 9
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think it’s fine. Many 4 months old are in daycare, so I think they could have left the baby home for the night, but they don’t want o I’d just move on and not be upset. 

Post # 10
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

You have a right to have no children at your wedding and they have a right to rescind their RSVP with this new information.

That’s it…don’t read anything more into this or you are behaving as badly as your aunts did.

Post # 11
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@FoxyBride14:  It depends on where you are and what their family is like. Here we have one year maternity leaves and there are always SAHM/Ds so don’t just lump everyone into the same category. There is no way I could have left my kids when they were babies…all three nursed and absolutely hated bottles.

 

Post # 12
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Luayne:  I didn’t. I said “many” not “all” 4 months old. And I did say that they don’t want to, so to just move on. Hardly lumping them in and saying that they should do that. So please don’t assume I was “lumping everyone into one category” bc I didn’t at all. 

 

Post # 13
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Miss Moxy:  I kinda felt like the only reason he wanted to come was to show off his baby. Maybe I’m just being too sensitive?!

No, I dont think youre being too sensative. I’m sure that’s what he had in mind.  I agree with you, I did no kids, period and I too had  plenty of cousins who didn’t come because they couldnt bring their kids. To each there own, just enjoy your beautiful day!

Post # 16
Member
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Miss Moxy:  Ah, I see. I have to say, it’s confusing in wedding season with an infant! We were invited to 3 weddings this summer. I had already talked to each couple about whether or not they were including children, since they involved travel plans (all included children–child-free weddings aren’t really a thing here…) EVERY.SINGLE.INVITE was only addressed to DH and I. So, they could easily have assumed that, since infants don’t count in venue counts and such, that the infant may still be included without the name on the envelope. I don’t think it’s a stretch.

 

(P.S. I double-checked after the invite arrived with each couple again before bringing little guy–I’ve seen enough weddingbee threads to know…)

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