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I kind of feel the same. Part of me wants a totally untraditional wedding and part of me wants a super traditional wedding. My dress is not traditional but my venue is so traditional it's kind of boring (but fits what we need). So I'm trying to find a balance between both.
I am SO the non-bridey bride. Every dress I've tried on has been "Oh, this is a nice dress". Then I check to see if it looks good in the right places and think "yep, this would work!" But any of the really weddingy dresses I've tried on, I've thought "wow, I look so odd. So frilly. So not-me." The only time I ever wore a gown and got my hair done was to my junior prom, and it was so not me that I didn't get a gown for my senior prom. I wore a patterned skirt and corset top instead, and pulled my hair back behind my ears. Good enough.
A lot of people will tell you that when you find THE DRESS, you WILL feel like the bride. But, I think some people just aren't the princessy types. Some women can get really, truly excited about their dresses, and I do envy them.
It sounds like you are excited about the important stuff. Marrying your man! The rest won't matter much in the end. Everyone will enjoy your day and you'll have tons of fun celebrating, even if the details and ceremonious nature are getting you down at the moment.
In closing, wear your hair and clothes however the heck you want for your shower. It's your shower. :D
You're not alone! I feel this way too. No advice to help though :)
you're speaking my language! when i went dress shopping, i just got the first dress that i put on and actually felt somewhat myself in and not have to pay a year's worth of rent for. and when the lady put the veil on, ugh! i felt so weird! this whole bride thing is so uncomfortable sometimes! i've started to make it more fun by finally not putting pressure on myself to be super bride-y. if i want to go barefoot, dang it, i will! i'm so excited to know i'm not alone in this! do people ever treat you like you're crazy for being this way?
Thank goodness I'm not alone! My wedding is in four months, and I still haven't selected a dress. Every time I think about what would be "me", all I can think is, "Well, certainly not a white, fancy, floor-length dress!" Deciding on what to wear has definitely been the most difficult, dreaded, and frustrating aspect of wedding planning.
@lexatron
have you tried looking at dresses in general? as in, other colors/styles/shapes than just white, strapless, and somewhat poofy? :) girl, you wear what you want! go for colored, shorter, and casual if that fits!
I totally feel you! I've informed a couple of friends that they will have to come to my wedding so that I have someone to say all the snarky comments about it to! Me! Saying snarky comments about my wedding! Like what a freaking circus it is just to leagalize a non-profit union for the joint protection of assets and creation of heirs. Yeah, am I supposed to have that attitude about it? I wish I could convince him to run down to City Hall and get it over with...
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Do any of you sometimes have to reconcile with the vision of you being a bride?
I've tried on veils, and everyone oooohhhs and ahhhhh's, but what comes out of my mouth...with a curled lip...."I look so bride'y"
This weekend is my shower, and while I can't wait to get all my lovely lady friends in one room, I still can't help but feeling weird about the fact that they'll all be bringing me gifts...it's not my birthday, ;)
For the wedding day I want to just wear my haired pulled back on the sides, and I get comments, like..."you can't just wear your hair the way you would on any given Saturday with a pair of jeans"....WHY NOT?!?
I'm wearing a floor length white dress and I keep thinking, I've never worn a strapless anything, floor length anything or a train for that matter. Having said that, as far as wedding dresses go, this dress is SOO me.
I think what it comes down to is that I'm am SOOOO excited that I've met the man that I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with and I'm thrilled that we will be bound together forever. BUT... sometimes the ceremony of it all is a bit daunting. Maybe it's the fact that I've subscribed to having too many traditional elements for my liking, maybe it's the formulaic items that I don't like. Maybe I'm just crabby. ha.
okay done now, thanks for listening.