(Closed) The One That Got Away – Should I Contact Him?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

ok. contact him?

Post # 4
Member
3901 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Get in touch. Don’t ask him out per se – just say it was nice running into him, you heard he moved back, and you’d love to catch up sometime

Post # 6
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@RN:  Just tell him you’re interested in reconnecting and would like to go out to dinner sometime. If your past rejection comes up, just explain that you were in a very different place in your life then and not ready for a relationship. It’s the truth, and it’s pretty understandable because most people have been there before.

Post # 7
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@RN:  Just say he we should get together and catch up sometime.  Don’t make it weird by apologizing for rejecting him.  Only apologize if he brings it up

Post # 8
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

totally do it! you’ve nothing to lose… charge ahead and don’t look back, then you’ll have no regrets!

and I agree that you don’t need to bring up the past rejection unless it comes up.  And your honest answer totally works. people grow and change. I’m sure has has too, and will understand completely.

Post # 9
Member
523 posts
Busy bee

@distracts:  +1 (as usual) 

In the past you probably weren’t emotionally ready for a lasting relationship and now you’re in a better head space. If it comes up just explain it like you did to us (maybe nix the seeing him only as a friend part though).

Post # 10
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee

@RN:  

No, don’t apologize for anything. That will make you look like you’re groveling or that you’re somehow guilty of something — which you aren’t. He could have long forgotten about the fact that you rejected him. Don’t assume that he still remembers or cares.

Yes, you regret that you rejected him, but come on, you had your reasons at the time and based on his reaction when he saw you the other day, he doesn’t think you were a jerk about it.

That was then and this is now. Move on and yes, DO contact him!

 

I’m not sure what contact info you have for him, but….

 

If you’re calling, just have a little mini-speech prepared. Keep it BRIEF and light and breezy. Tell him you enjoyed running into him the other day and it’s been a while, and you’d love it if you two could stay in touch, and leave your number with him. That’s IT… then get off the phone. 

I repeat, get off the phone!

Even if he seems receptive when you call, stay on the phone with him for ten minutes or so but don’t end up chatting on the phone with him for two hours. Keep it BRIEF or you might overwhelm him! Your friend told you he’s single, but for all you know he could be single and interested in someone else now.

Don’t expect anything and you won’t be disappointed. Chat with him for a few minutes, get off the phone, and then give him time to process all of this after you give him your basic message. Wait for him to decide if he wants to contact you and ask you out.

If you’re emailing or contacting him via Facebook, write the same basic message as above.

Good luck!!!!

Post # 11
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You should definitely contact him! It was nothing but bad timing when you rejected him before – ask him out! What have you got to lose?

Post # 14
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Just contact him and talk; go for coffee. I wouldn’t spill my heart out all of a sudden after a three year hiatus.

Post # 15
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@RN:  I would take it slow.  Just do something innocent like coffee and just spend time catching up.  Don’t make it too date like, just take it slow.  If it goes well ask him out for a fun casual date like”oh hey, one of my favorite bands is in town, wanna come with me?”.  After you hang out a few times THEN ask him out for a romantic dinner

Post # 16
Member
7498 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would just say something like “Hey ___, it was so great to see you at so and so’s wedding. I’d love to reconnect with you sometime.”

Who knows, maybe he’ll ask you out.

The topic ‘The One That Got Away – Should I Contact Him?’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors