Post # 1
So two years ago I broke up with a guy I dated for 3 years. The entire time I date him I knew it would never lead to anything because he was just really immature about relationships, and extremely selfish. By the end of it it felt more like a booty call, he’d started acting really fishy and I was about 90% sure he was cheating. So I broke it off and told him things had changed for me. We went our separate ways and he ended up moving out of state for an internship.
After a year of being single I met my FI, who I knew right away was the one, and like clockwork, around my first Christmas with my FI (boyfriend at the time) my ex came out of the wood work texting me. He was in town and “wanted to meet up”, I told him that it was really weird that he was texting me for this a year after we broke up, that I was hanging out with my BF, and then asked if he was drunk. He said he was “tipsy” and then followed up with asking if I missed him, to which I firmly reply “No” and I admitted he still thought about me a lot. He then began suggesting meeting up for sex, which I ignored. I immediately told my FI what my ex had sent me and showed it to him because I did NOT wang to get caught with my pants down on this, my EX’s text message previews flashing on my screen. FI was very understanding and of course said he trusted me. The next day I finally texted my ex back and told him that what he sent me the night before was extremely inappropriate and that if he couldn’t keep from drunk texting me he should just delete my number from his phone. I also deleted him from my Facebook, switched everything to private, and he said it wouldn’t happen again.
Of course that hasn’t happened and I still get these stupid, random, semi romantic texts from him from time-to-time, a few weeks I got one a couple nights before my FI and I were leaving to go to Greece for two weeks (the trip we got engaged on), and he texts me at 1am saying “I was thinking of you last night” (btw, am I the only one who translates this to “I was thinking of you while masturbating last night”?), and I replied and said that I hoped things were going well for him and that my BF and I were leaving for Greece in two days. No reply. This morning I wake up to a text from him last night at 2am that he “had a dream about me” to which I replied “Wow that’s crazy! FI and I got engaged in Greece which is also crazy! Hope all is well”
So I guess there is a contact blocking feature on the iphone now and I think it’s probably time to utilize it. I probably should have quit replying to his texts after that Christmas but honestly a tiny tiny part of me wanted to hurt his feelings. Real mature right? How have other Bees dealt with this problem? Have you been in the situation before? I swear, it’s just like the movie Swingers, they can practically smell when you’re over them!
This topic was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by Unfathomably.
Post # 2
Unfathomably: Block him, as it seems you already plan to. I don’t think he has any interest in more than a booty call from you. He probably even finds it entertaining that he can get your attention when you’re with your FI.
Just ignore him.
Post # 3
Unfathomably: I dealt with it by ignoring him completely. It’s hard to not reply and try and be a jerk in some way because let’s be honest here, it’s common to want to feel like your ex’s regret losing you. It’s flattering in some weird way to know that you are still on their mind. It has nothing to do with wanting them or regretting leaving the relationship. Something to keep in mind though, ignoring someone is the worst thing you could do. Acting as if he doesn’t exist will hurt him more than you responding, even if the response is not nice.
Post # 4
Unfathomably: Definitely block him and if you don’t, ignore him completely. By texting him back, even if you’re saying leave me alone, youre still giving him attention.
Post # 5
Unfathomably: just block him. You told him not to contact you and he hasn’t listened.
Post # 6
Unfathomably: I have a similar ex who seems to have a radar for when “big” moment’s happen in my life and tries to worm his way back in to see if he can manipulate me again. When FI and I got engaged he attempted to friend request me and message me on facebook (after no contact for over 2 years – I changed my # so facebook was all he had).
Like other bees said, I just ignored it. You probably should too! But I do understand feeling a little satisfaction at hurting the feelings of someone like that (even if it is immature). Just enjoy your wonderful FI and ignore the ex 🙂
Post # 8
Unfathomably: STOP REPLYING.
I had an ex like this, very similar sounding situation. The last I heard from him was last August to the tune of a 3AM facebook message asking me what was up. WHO DOES THAT? I had also just gotten engaged and resisted the urge to tell him.
Silence speaks volumes.
Post # 9
Unfathomably: Stop replying. Block him. Unless you have contact with him regularly, it probably won’t hurt his feelings. Right now he gets what he wants (your interaction with him) and if you stop giving that he will move on to less engaged pastures.
I had a guy that I saw for a couple of months (during which he asked me to move 1 hour away from where I lived to be with him) and he texted me on my birthday and major holidays for YEARS after. He didn’t stop until I blocked him on my phone and facebook.
Post # 10
My ex-husband used to send me similar emails from time to time. (We divorced because he had an affair, and he ended up marrying her not long afterward.) I always replied and asked him not to contact me anymore. Once I finally ignored him and didn’t reply at all, they stopped. I think he got some sort of satisfaction out of hearing from me, even if it wasn’t friendly. If I were you, I would quit writing back and just block his number.
I have gotten an apologetic email from an ex who seemed to sincerely regret things and didn’t have ulterior motives of getting back together or meeting up again. I did send a short but nice reply in that case.